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BlackWalt 06-16-2018 11:17 PM

Talked to like a child/mental patient
Does anyone else get subtly patronized by their friends and/or family for their social anxiety? Just now my mom let me know my aunt had told her I seemed like I was "getting better". Maybe I shouldn't be upset by that, but knowing I'm talked about like a child or a mental patient by my own family doesn't feel all that great. Idk, maybe I'm overreacting

llodell88 06-16-2018 11:35 PM

i've never heard anyone ever bring it up or talk about it ever, me having SA I mean, i mean i guess i feel patronized in other ways but nobody brings up or talks about it so i can't say that about sa. And yeah I have heard my mom say I seem better lately, which is annoying, since she has no clue what is going on and its just about getting better from some illness she thinks i have that i don't have. I guess I feel like people do treat me sort of childlishly, they don't even expect me to have a job, and she feels like she needs to things for me that I'd be better off doing myself, and I would have to argue with her about it, just so I could do it myself sometimes.

Now that I notice you are 19 I'd say it was even worse back then, a lot worse. I don't think my mother understood I'm not 12 years old still back then, but I'm not so sure that has to do with me having some mental illness or not, I kinda got the feeling back even she just didn't want things to change, so keeping me the same was important.

I'm also the youngest in the family so maybe I get treated like that somewhat because of that, I mean it probably isn't good for peoples self esteem to think the youngest person in the family is actually more responsible or smarter than them in any way so they probably need to think some of that.

findyourself 06-17-2018 12:19 AM

It's okay, I understand that feeling.

At work, I overheard my boss say to another employee, "I'm going on break but I want you here because Sarah is new and (my name) is well, you know.. (My name)."

In other words, she thinks I'm dumb.

sad1231234 06-17-2018 01:34 AM

Dont worry about peoples opinions. Besides they arent really talking to you like a mental patient.

Michael Caant 06-18-2018 09:04 AM

This is why if you ever join new groups, start a new job etc never bring it up. Even if people are generally nice they'll do this. At worst they'll use it as a reason to put themselves on a pedestal while putting you down. I might sound cynical but I've never experienced anything different. There's no bottom to where people's behavior will sink when it comes to establishing status.

I have a mentally ill mom and holy Christ, when her doctor thought I wasn't there (a week ago I was sorting clothes in another room when the doctor came, she thought my mom was alone) she was talking to her like a one year old. When I'm around she talks to her like she talks to me and will patiently wait for answers to questions. The doctor started trying to blame my mom for something by using her illness. The doctor turned up a few hours late and started trying to convince my mom that she was expecting the wrong time because "she's forgetful". She's actually the opposite and remembers every tiny detail.

I came in and her face turned nearly purple, she was obviously wondering if I'd overheard her and how she was talking down to her. I said "how come you're here at 6? It's usually 4 isn't it?" and suddenly she apologized. What happened to trying to gaslight the mentally ill woman? Her tone suddenly changed back to adult too. My mom, who isn't with reality at the best of times burst out laughing and said "why are you talking like that?"

It really, really bothers me and I can't imagine someone doing that to me. I'd probably explode.

What bothers me is that based on initial appearances I would've never expected that treatment from this doctor in a million years because of how nice she's always been around me. But the second she got the chance at being alone she tried to use my mom's mental illness to get out of trouble (I've had family members steal from her and try to trick her into thinking she imagined giving money too) and was talking down to her like she's a toddler. What kind of person does that? A woman driving around in a BMW with a high profile job patronizing her patients but only when she's alone with them.

It's so disrespectful. It just shows how full of crap most people are.

Kevin001 06-18-2018 09:18 AM

More so in the past when that label was all I was known for.

Outispoet 06-18-2018 03:17 PM

Yes, it's rare I come across someone who isn't trying to patronize me. People just love feeling above people and "giving them advice" in a condescending manner. It's like they're a giant and you're an ant and that's somehow equal

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