(Support Thread) What's Bothering You Right Now? - Page 669 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #13361 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-05-2020, 04:55 AM
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Originally Posted by harrison View Post
Jesus Christ - 500 bucks??? Why do you have to pay for everything?

You should tell her to get lost.

She wants to do something special for me for my birthday and invited family and extended family members, a lot i don't care for nor met probably. At first I told her I don't care to do it, but she insisted. Since I felt bad for her to have to spent all of that money to invite so many people. Days later at the day before, she goes... "so yes, you will be paying for the whole bills, since it's etiquette for you to do so, since you're the host!"

So basically, she invited me out, picked the place, invited as many people as possible out, and then change the narrative after to made me pay the entire bill. Screwed up on so many levels.

If I am inviting people out myself, then I am the host, and that way I can see it's my etiquette to pay. But not this...

Yeah, thinking I might just back out, disappear for to somewhere for bit at worst. Although that will only generate a whole set of consequences later on... I hate this really.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.

If I fail to adapt to the fault of others, it is my fault.
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post #13362 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-05-2020, 05:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Blue Dino View Post
She wants to do something special for me for my birthday and invited family and extended family members, a lot i don't care for nor met probably. At first I told her I don't care to do it, but she insisted. Since I felt bad for her to have to spent all of that money to invite so many people. Days later at the day before, she goes... "so yes, you will be paying for the whole bills, since it's etiquette for you to do so, since you're the host!"

So basically, she invited me out, picked the place, invited as many people as possible out, and then change the narrative after to made me pay the entire bill. Screwed up on so many levels.

If I am inviting people out myself, then I am the host, and that way I can see it's my etiquette to pay. But not this...

Yeah, thinking I might just back out, disappear for to somewhere for bit at worst. Although that will only generate a whole set of consequences later on... I hate this really.
That's just crazy. You shouldn't be paying at all if it's your birthday - it should be free for you.

Happy Birthday anyway for whenever it is. Hope you get through it okay and I hope you have a nice day.
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post #13363 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-05-2020, 02:33 PM
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@Blue Dino You should mass-message all the people she invited to inform them that it was all your mom's idea and you'd prefer a low key gathering, and that you're canceling because you can't afford the bill she's trying to force on you. At least that way everybody except your mom should understand and she'll probably face pressure from relatives who think she's a jerk for trying to make you pay $500 for your birthday.

As for etiquette, she's clearly the host in this situation since she organized it.

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post #13364 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-05-2020, 08:55 PM
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post #13365 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-05-2020, 09:29 PM
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Feel like someone's been kicking me in the head all day. How the **** am I supposed to work if I get migraines 4 days a week?

The best things in life are free, but so are the worst things. And you need money to avoid those.
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post #13366 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-06-2020, 12:55 AM
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Originally Posted by harrison View Post
That's just crazy. You shouldn't be paying at all if it's your birthday - it should be free for you.

Happy Birthday anyway for whenever it is. Hope you get through it okay and I hope you have a nice day.

It's coming up, not here yet. Thanks.

I actually ended up having a decent time. Guess I sat with the right people, cousins I know better with. But the bill was $470, so that hurts.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul View Post
@Blue Dino You should mass-message all the people she invited to inform them that it was all your mom's idea and you'd prefer a low key gathering, and that you're canceling because you can't afford the bill she's trying to force on you. At least that way everybody except your mom should understand and she'll probably face pressure from relatives who think she's a jerk for trying to make you pay $500 for your birthday.

As for etiquette, she's clearly the host in this situation since she organized it.

I actually don't even know half of the people. The dinner really was more for my mom, it's really to celebrate for her "goodbye for now" party. Disguised at my birthday. I paid, but she took the credit for treating everyone. I can afford the bill, but more like it really "stings" to afford it. Money I could spend on stuff I actually want. It just felt very unfair. Like being robbed in the streets.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.

If I fail to adapt to the fault of others, it is my fault.
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post #13367 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-06-2020, 01:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Blue Dino View Post
It's coming up, not here yet. Thanks.

I actually ended up having a decent time. Guess I sat with the right people, cousins I know better with. But the bill was $470, so that hurts.
Well I'm glad you had a good time anyway. That's the main thing I guess.

(you shouldn't have had to pay though)
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post #13368 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 12:06 AM
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Therapy tomorrow. They can't hold you if you don't tell them you have a plan, right?

The best things in life are free, but so are the worst things. And you need money to avoid those.
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post #13369 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-08-2020, 05:34 AM
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Its freezing!

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post #13370 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-11-2020, 06:11 PM
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!


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They have an i9 on that little thing? Do you own a Mint Box?
Nope—I think the last ones (Mint Box 2) were only running i5s on the "pro" models. Their new lineup will have the Pro ship with an i9. Of course, they made the size bigger... so there's that.

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post #13371 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-11-2020, 08:55 PM
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Chips in my nail polish.

Miles to go before I sleep. Vale.

Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #13372 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 09:04 AM
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why are there so many articles on harry and Meghan on this news site? irrelevant. boring. is this really what people want to read about? there must be at least 10 articles there. people are idiots.

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post #13373 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-13-2020, 03:25 PM
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Anxious about a meeting for work tomorrow, always anxious when people from work see me outside of work clothes ugh. Not sure what to wear.

~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
How can You be my fire if my heart has grown cold
How can You be my future if I've made this my home ~ Love & the Outcome
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post #13374 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-14-2020, 07:18 PM
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It's hard to be the strong person for someone who was your rock. Especially when any form of advice or guidance to steer the person in a safer direction is met with anger. I think more than anything it's heartbreaking to have to watch the self destructive behavior and feel that I'm unable to do anything, say anything, but be there when asked....that sucks. I want so badly to just take away that pain or to fix it and I don't have that ability.

"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
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post #13375 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 01:12 PM
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Ebay sellers that don't know how to pack stuff right. I was really looking forward to this keyboard.





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post #13376 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 01:30 PM
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Ebay sellers that don't know how to pack stuff right. I was really looking forward to this keyboard.




Man that really sucks. Did they use any packing material at all?
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post #13377 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 02:23 PM
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Man that really sucks. Did they use any packing material at all?

Yeah but they taped the power supply to the keyboard and the box was bulging. It must have been crushed during shipping so if it hadn't been shipped like that it could have made it. Most of the keys don't work and the display just flickers. A rare model too. I just hope they don't make me ship it back at a cost of at least 30 dollars.

“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.”

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post #13378 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 03:59 PM
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It's my birthday soon. I don't know why birthdays tend to make me sad but they kind of do...

I think it's because I self reflect on the expectations I had for myself and think 'wow, I fuc*ed up' and I've been doing better than I have in years, but I suppose I wish it just happened sooner. I'll be graduating and transferring to another school (hopefully) but I can't help but feel I should have finished at 20 and not 25. Than there's the whole comparing my life to others from point A to point B and that's not fun.

"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
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post #13379 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 01:03 AM
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have to type with one hand since other is swollen, weird autoimmune or some **** - migraines insomnia nightmares tinnitus ocd - can't work like this! no help from anyone! and tired of not being able to get books i need for main project bc poor/$$$ - why am i here?!! cant take it - just ****ing kill me already!!!

The best things in life are free, but so are the worst things. And you need money to avoid those.
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post #13380 of 13398 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 02:55 AM
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My learner's license is expiring in 10 days. But I am no way close to learning how to drive. This is going to set me back by a lot of money. If I have to do the lessons again, and I really really need a license + car for work

Scared, Depressed, anxious and kind off traumatized person
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