What's bothering me right now is that the guy I was ''dating'' with from here had a huge history of flirting with girls here + another relationship before me yet he was saying it was totally special, one of the kind true love big time and I was so believing it. Meanwhile it's just being alone, being on SAS site, communicating with girls and choosing a girl to project stuff onto them over and over again, new one each time. Meanwhile we didn't even talk on camera during those 8 months and he clearly was at least talking in video with one of the girls he was flirting with here. He had so much more toleration for trauma and imperfections from this girl than he was having it for me, the one he was saying all that crazy big ''love'' stuff to. And he knew her so much better. Then he just left as if it wasn't him who was saying that to me and he was treating me the opposite way, the whole ''love'' turned out to be a pure projection from his side (mine too though).
I also don't understand what's the point of relationship and calling just one person your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband if it's ok for you to flirt and have feelings for others at the same time. Or even to have sexual relationship with them. At least make the other person aware so they can immediately dump you if they don't want that.
Yeah, I still can't get over it because I'd never had any relationship before, I've been alone in general since forever and had no social experience. Then after it ended he was devaluating me, laughing me off, dehumanizing me in the chat room on here as if I was just a randomer and it wasn't as serious as he said to me. God knows what he was saying to others in his private gossip. I wish I knew what he was saying to other people about me just when it was happening and he better told me that right in my face instead of ''3rd party'' people then all my illusion would instantly go away and I would be aware of what was going on. He wasn't honest and he wasn't expressing most of the stuff he should have in an honest relationship. The communication about things was always ambiguous and unclear. It's very convenient on the internet because you're sort of connected and not, you can do whatever you want at the same time. You don't see the emotions of other person and you can imagine/fantasize whatever in your mind and to fall in love with that fantasy. You can also get rid of that person with one click of a mouse. It's that easy.
That's why you shouldn't fall for this unless you're going to meet soon. Saying ''I love you'' while you haven't even met or even haven't gone on camera is a big red flag.
Sorry for my English.