(Support Thread) What's Bothering You Right Now? - Page 63 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1241 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 01:45 PM
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I feel anxious as hell and I can't stomache any food at all.
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post #1242 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 01:55 PM
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Haven't ate much these past few days. Wish my weight showed it.
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post #1243 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 02:01 PM
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Trying to see how you cancel health insurance don't want it to automatically renew for next year ugh.

~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
How can You be my fire if my heart has grown cold
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post #1244 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 02:22 PM
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I will be volunteering, working for a week, for the first time in years in just over a month.

I'm worried about being physically exhausted by the work more than anxiety actually, and having to come back here to the same old **** again, come back down to earth, when it's over.

I'll be working on the largest tidal reed bed in England, probably getting rid of old reeds in boggy as hell land, so it'll be hard graft, even harder if the weathers ****, and living in a house a mile away. I could have the whole house to myself, or be with two other people there.

I like the outdoors, but doing things at my own pace, and this is sort of like a working holiday, working for the RSPB, and I'm also worried that I just wont enjoy it, because when things I enjoy become work, and I can't do it at my own pace, I become stressed and lose interest.

I guess I'll just have to go at my own pace though. I aint getting paid, although they are giving me accommodation, and they'll have to tell me to piss off and get someone younger in to do the work. lol

They are over subscribed though, so there'll be plenty of young students etc they can bring in to break there backs, or just find it piss easy actually lol.
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post #1245 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 03:46 PM
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@Liviboo

You're welcome.

Good to hear.

@Jeff271

You can do it, little bit at a time until you get it done. Like moving a pile of dirt, looks massive, but little bit moved at a time solves the problem.

@Toasty Bean

You can do it, I know you can.

Get up out of bed and keep going.

@slyfox

You can do it mate.

@euphoria04

Try sleeping a bit and see if you feel better afterwards.

@CNikki

Should get 2-4kg lighter if don't eat much for 2-4 days. But can gain it back when you do eat. It's working out what your body burns to what you eat ratio.

Exercise less = eat less as don't need as much fuel.

@Kevin001

Talk to an insurance broker (if you have one)?

Or might sign a form of some kind?

@Pete Beale

Sounds like bogging in mud type of work.
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post #1246 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 04:06 PM
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The fact that I got so anxious about writing a post that I had to go talk to a friend before I had the confidence to post it....
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post #1247 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 05:49 PM
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@ANX1 - Let's put it this way - at one point I lost significant amount of weight due to eating minimal and sustaining my hunger through caffeine. Not too long after that I ended up at the hospital. Of course, I'd do without the hospital bit, but I would like the effects of losing weight in the same fashion.

Unhealthy, I know.
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post #1248 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 06:12 PM
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Whenever a mass shooting occurs it makes me feel self conscious. I feel like everyone at work is thinking "...yep... this guy fits the profile exactly...get this creep outta here". I just know they are thinking things like that. But they don't know me. They never try to get to know me. From day one at that job I've been treated different... I can't explain, it's like they are jealous? There are details I won't elaborate on but I have tried to be friendly and initiate conversations. They have no idea how much of a peaceful person I am. Whatever. Let them think what they want. I wish no harm to any of them.

The ant's a centaur in his dragon world.
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post #1249 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 06:34 PM
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@wynns



@CNikki

Oh, ok.

@A Void Ant

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post #1250 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 06:36 PM
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Wish I had enough money for beer, but it's not important enough to borrow any money.
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post #1251 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 06:43 PM
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I'm gonna die soon. the end of the year maybe.
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post #1252 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 06:53 PM
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Made a mistake....ugh.

~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
How can You be my fire if my heart has grown cold
How can You be my future if I've made this my home ~ Love & the Outcome
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post #1253 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 07:03 PM
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@finallyclosed



@Scentient

Please no.

@Kevin001

Oh, no.

But you can learn from this mistake.
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post #1254 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 07:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ANX1 View Post
@Kevin001

Oh, no.

But you can learn from this mistake.
Definitely!

~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
How can You be my fire if my heart has grown cold
How can You be my future if I've made this my home ~ Love & the Outcome
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post #1255 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 09:59 PM
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I feel hopeless ... like I won't survive the next day at work. I won't be able to trick people into thinking I'm doing anything worthwhile. The image will crack. I'll finally have to face the fact that I have no idea how to do anything. That I'm just confused and lost.

It's the same fear, day after day. I feel like I'm losing it, but I know the past is so much darker, and this is tame by comparison. How do I face it?

So there is this fear on the one hand, and my sense of incredulity at this perpetual silliness of my mind on the other. Maybe all I can say is that I feel discomfort. Not painful enough to call pain, but a form of suffering in any case. I can withstand suffering though.

It's like if I were down on all fours trying to stand, it would take hours to have the energy to put a foot underneath me. The dizziness would swirl and after some hours I could push myself up against a wall, and then, exhausted from a day's work, I would have to retreat to the ground again for the sleep I never quite overcame in the first place. If I stand, it doesn't matter any more. So far am I from being competitive.

Every day I'm trying to be useful, trying to accomplish something. I've had to scold myself for buying things I don't need lately--tools, of course--and I know it's from this ache for change, for progress, for difference. Tools are so fitting. I just want capability but there's no taking away the waste inherent in time. The toil itself is a reach for something I cannot attain.

How is it that my thinking has become as distorted as this? Where every accomplishment becomes the smallest repayment to a debt that only grows? How do I snap out of this? It's all in my mind after all! There's no one I can even plea to, but it's inappropriate anyway!

Because somehow, I know it is in me to chose to think in my right mind. To have faith. I don't know even what I should do exactly, just that somehow, I have the power to change this. I am not asleep, and my mind is very much present.

And, like always, the trouble becomes vapor, and I'm left to wonder ... it doesn't even matter. I am here though. I am real! I am conscious and I can still make decisions. I'm not trapped! It's just I feel really isolated sometimes. I don't even know what I need, just that I need. I'm scared. It's the most ridiculous reaction though. Just let. GO. senkora. I'm a creature that seems not to have been meant to journey far from the earth, where I must wander through mud, scrape myself on rocks, fall in streams, and bake in the heat. Such is life! Did you think you could stop it? Go and feel PAIN if that is what you are going to feel! It's only unpleasant is all. It's not a threat. Nothing to despair over. Where is your mind? How have you become confused? What dream are you dreaming? What is this drama? But it is merely uncomfortable. Let me screw up my face and feel my eyes water if I will. It is only a little unpleasant is all. I will endure it. I will see the other side of it.

Ok, seriously, that's enough though. Lighten up! I am FINE!

Quote:
Originally Posted by A Void Ant View Post
Whenever a mass shooting occurs it makes me feel self conscious. I feel like everyone at work is thinking "...yep... this guy fits the profile exactly...get this creep outta here". I just know they are thinking things like that.
That's a horrible feeling. If it helps, I tend to think people are pretty vocal when they actually feel unsure about someone.

We are the drop, the wave, and the tide.
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post #1256 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-09-2017, 10:22 PM
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post #1257 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-10-2017, 02:36 AM
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I’m having these moods (or really non-moods) more frequently where I get no enjoyment from anything and all my interests seem pointless. I see my therapist soon at least.
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post #1258 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-10-2017, 04:43 AM
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The problem with me is that when I engage in something, my mind gets filled with anxiety for everything that could go wrong. I become hopeless, depressed, and frustrated. My energy level drops making everything even worse. It's such a frustrating cycle.
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post #1259 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-10-2017, 05:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ANX1 View Post
@Liviboo

You're welcome.

Good to hear.

@Jeff271

You can do it, little bit at a time until you get it done. Like moving a pile of dirt, looks massive, but little bit moved at a time solves the problem.

@Toasty Bean

You can do it, I know you can.

Get up out of bed and keep going.

@slyfox

You can do it mate.

@euphoria04

Try sleeping a bit and see if you feel better afterwards.

@CNikki

Should get 2-4kg lighter if don't eat much for 2-4 days. But can gain it back when you do eat. It's working out what your body burns to what you eat ratio.

Exercise less = eat less as don't need as much fuel.

@Kevin001

Talk to an insurance broker (if you have one)?

Or might sign a form of some kind?

@Pete Beale

Sounds like bogging in mud type of work.
Lol a bit more boring than that.

Hopefully there'll be clear skies so it's less boggy and enjoy the lack of light pollution and sky at night, and get to see many of the 270 different species of birds they have. :o
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post #1260 of 13832 (permalink) Old 10-10-2017, 09:01 AM
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@Sheska

That is certainly some of the most interesting feedback I've ever received. ... I appreciate ... all of it.

We are the drop, the wave, and the tide.
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