(Support Thread) What's Bothering You Right Now? - Page 600 - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #11981 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-28-2019, 10:18 AM
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Oh nice I'll definitely give that one a try then, thanks If it can help with the redness then that's a bonus too
Yea it definitely helped with the redness and the dry skin for me, I personally noticed a difference after the first day. Hopefully it does the same for you.
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post #11982 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-28-2019, 05:25 PM
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yeah, same (irl). my family doesn't even care that much about me, though (how their actions have made me feel).
Unfortunately, I know the feeling.

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post #11983 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-28-2019, 06:57 PM
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Unfortunately, I know the feeling.
mine probably wouldn't even care that much if i was dead. :/
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post #11984 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-28-2019, 07:05 PM
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mine probably wouldn't even care that much if i was dead. :/
My folks would care if I died, but maybe they would be relieved too in some way, that I was no longer suffering and they would suffer less. No one else would give a **** in the family but I don't care anyway. Part of me wishes no one gave a **** about me at all so I could end it. It's horrible to think this, when people like you don't have anyone who cares. I'm still miserable even though I do have a couple of people who love me. It's no where near enough though. I want my own life away from family.
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post #11985 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-28-2019, 07:12 PM
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My folks would care if I died, but maybe they would be relieved too in some way, that I was no longer suffering and they would suffer less. No one else would give a **** in the family but I don't care anyway. Part of me wishes no one gave a **** about me at all so I could end it. It's horrible to think this, when people like you don't have anyone who cares. I'm still miserable even though I do have a couple of people who love me. It's no where near enough though. I want my own life away from family.
yes, it feels really horrible knowing no one cares about your existence.
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post #11986 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-28-2019, 07:27 PM
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yes, it feels really horrible knowing no one cares about your existence. it feels bad knowing family doesn't care, but it stings less than it used to. i felt very hurt the first time my mom told me no one cares about me and that i should kill myself. she told me this on my birthday, so what did i do......i tried to kill myself and spent my birthday in the icu.

she told me doing this changed her life. it didn't stop her from telling me to kill myself again, though.
I just don't know what to say. What CAN you say to THAT?

Your mom is a very ill woman. I wish she wasn't that way, but she is. She was born that way or something traumatized her to make her that way. It's horrible, because she probably was traumatized and once was an innocent baby. With the right upbringing herself, she wouldn't be the way she is, unless it's genetic of course.

If I could I would get you away from her, but part of you will still always want her to care about you. Her illness unfortunately means that she was unable to bond with you, and it will always be that we. It's failed bonding that causes these issues at the end of the day.

I hate that I have bonded with my folks, although much more with one than the other, but I can't appreciate them enough because of my complete failure to find another human to bond with, a woman.

I see their relationship and I have nothing. Never have had.
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post #11987 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-28-2019, 07:28 PM
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I notice with mine, there is the happy annoying bonkers, and the angry scary bonkers. Not sure how her pattern is now though since I don't see her as often. Although of the two, I prefer the happy annoying one.

Sorry I didn't respond earlier. I am not getting all my quote notifications so I didn't even know you'd replied.

Yeah. Mine kind of has the same thing going on. But she can go from one to the other at the drop of a hat (little or no reason is necessary) and that's unfortunately more than annoying. And.....sometimes even when she's doing the happy bonkers routine she's doing subtle passive aggressive stuff at the same time. This apparently makes sense to her in that she thinks it gives her an excuse for the quick swing to angry scary bonkers. She will sometimes be doing the smiling happy routine at the same time when she's trying to start an argument. It's so bizarre.

Like she will say something nice and polite and happy and then put an odd spin on it that translates to "Oh, by the way, you suck"

She also picks fights with my dad. She will ask him a question about something he knows she will get mad about if he gives her the wrong answer. So he will try to defend himself before it becomes necessary and then she uses that as an excuse to start the argument early. She will say "I just asked you a question! I wasn't accusing you of anything! You don't have to get hateful!"

And I'm sitting in here hearing that and thinking "WTF?"

It will go like this. She'll ask him if he washed her clothes and he will say "I was going to do that but I haven't had time". At which point she launches into attack mode and tells him it wasn't an accusation and accuses him of being mean to her.

Like.....she's demanding for him to do her laundry and at the same time telling him she despises his personality.

She never did this before a couple of years ago so he doesn't know how to respond. No matter what anyone does, it turns into an argument somehow and she always swears it's everyone else's fault.

I mean, it's actually not funny because I don't think she realizes this isn't normal but it would almost be funny if it wasn't so unpleasant.

/WYSD
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post #11988 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-28-2019, 07:35 PM
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Iíve been in a very off place mentally since my therapy appointment today. It started to get too real with what we were talking about and I couldnít handle it. My entire body was affected. It felt like my stomach was weighed down with bricks, my whole body felt heavier really. Maybe Iím not ready to battle my demons. I donít want to feel that again. I wanted to run out of the room and thatís not the first time Iíve felt that way in therapy. Two weeks ago I randomly blurted out that I felt that way and my therapist was taken aback and didnít understand why. That was kind of embarrassing.

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Itís a message of compassion.
In this world that is spinning madly out of control,
we have to realize that weíre all related.
We have to try to live harmoniously."
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post #11989 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-28-2019, 07:40 PM
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I have a work phobia. I work from home and it’s hard to work. When I think about working I get anxious and my hands start sweating and my heart races fast. I wish people understood how I feel.
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post #11990 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-28-2019, 08:04 PM
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Improving myself has become a real financial struggle since I've become an adult. Can't afford the drugs, can't afford the trips to go see my psychiatrist, can't afford this social skills counselor I had lined up, can't afford the school that enables me an opportunity to work on these things, can't afford a decent place to live that doesn't damage my mental health. Found some free resources but they are limited and turns out they don't fit in my schedule anyway. Hard to get more credit as I once had a bad debt and it hasn't been erased from my record yet. I'm looking at full time school and full time work just to get by, leaving me little time to focus on development. Not sure how I can fit in more than 30 hours a week which isn't all that much income. I need to win the lottery.
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post #11991 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-28-2019, 08:20 PM
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I need to win the lottery.
Instant fix for me if I won that ****.
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post #11992 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-28-2019, 08:42 PM
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@Pete Beale

thanks for your reply. talking a lot about my family and life sometimes gets too exhausting to talk about. it is so convoluted. maybe i will reply back tomorrow or at a later point. i wish i had more energy to fill you in better.

lol, this is one reason why it is hard for me to connect w/ people. my life story and talking about family requires a lot of energy to talk about. i feel like a lot of stuff would disturb a lot of people, too.
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post #11993 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-28-2019, 09:54 PM
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Ugh that thread infuriates me but I can't argue about it per site rules. Good on somebody blaming and judging us for our own mental illness, though. Supportive.

If I don't reply to you, it's NOTHING PERSONAL. It's my ANXIETY.

***

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Det. Kristeva: "If it were legal you'd marry me, right?"
Det. Devetko: "Definitely."

(It's legal now!! But Kristeva's already married. ;_; )

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post #11994 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-29-2019, 01:14 AM
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Like she will say something nice and polite and happy and then put an odd spin on it that translates to "Oh, by the way, you suck"

So he will try to defend himself before it becomes necessary and then she uses that as an excuse to start the argument early. She will say "I just asked you a question! I wasn't accusing you of anything! You don't have to get hateful!"

At which point she launches into attack mode and tells him it wasn't an accusation and accuses him of being mean to her.

Like.....she's demanding for him to do her laundry and at the same time telling him she despises his personality.


No matter what anyone does, it turns into an argument somehow and she always swears it's everyone else's fault.

Lol it's fine, I never really expect someone to reply when I quote them. More like if you have more to add, please do.



Yup, all the above points are exactly like with mine. It's like she tries to cramp every single criticism she have saved up for months from her stockpile when she sees a single situational opening. It's kinda makes me go in awe.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.

If I fail to adapt to the fault of others, it is my fault.
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post #11995 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-29-2019, 01:27 AM
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Ugh that thread infuriates me but I can't argue about it per site rules. Good on somebody blaming and judging us for our own mental illness, though. Supportive.

oh what thread? i don't know the rules and i love to argue


ok i see one that is a likely candidate

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post #11996 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-29-2019, 04:47 AM
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That I am back here after months away. It's one of those nights where I needed to write something down and hit 'save'.

No one will talk to me, they tend to go. Their faces say there's something I should know
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post #11997 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-29-2019, 07:10 AM
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@Pete Beale

thanks for your reply. talking a lot about my family and life sometimes gets too exhausting to talk about. it is so convoluted. maybe i will reply back tomorrow or at a later point. i wish i had more energy to fill you in better.

lol, this is one reason why it is hard for me to connect w/ people. my life story and talking about family requires a lot of energy to talk about. i feel like a lot of stuff would disturb a lot of people, too.
I hate talking about my life too. I feel like no one will ever empathize with my story completely. No one understands. Just drives people away. I feel like I want to open completely to someone, but there's no point, and I can't anyway. I over share with some people and it's a mistake. You're better off not sharing some stuff tbh. It's hard though when you just can't lie about somethings. I can't lie about some of the failures and problems in my life if I want to get close to someone. It's impossible. Can't connect with anyone, can't win. Too much baggage.
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post #11998 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-29-2019, 07:25 AM
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I hate talking about my life too. I feel like no one will ever empathize with my story completely. No one understands. Just drives people away. I feel like I want to open completely to someone, but there's no point, and I can't anyway. I over share with some people and it's a mistake. You're better off not sharing some stuff tbh. It's hard though when you just can't lie about somethings. I can't lie about some of the failures and problems in my life if I want to get close to someone. It's impossible. Can't connect with anyone, can't win. Too much baggage.
yeah, i feel the same.
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post #11999 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-29-2019, 07:39 AM
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yeah, i feel the same.
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post #12000 of 13270 (permalink) Old 03-29-2019, 07:44 AM
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i may be one of those people that was born not really having a good chance in life, lol.
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