Supper vs. Parents - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 03:25 PM Thread Starter
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Supper vs. Parents


I live with my parents for 29 entire years. In the last 4-5 years (I lost track) I cook supper once a week, normally Friday, but sometimes Saturday. The one dish I like making is Taco salad- I can make that all on my own-from cooking, to grating the cheese and even serving out the salad. My Dad is sick of it despite us only having it 4.5 times the last time hasn't been since the beginning of August. What I'm sick of is making Caesar salad 6 times since June 28th. Since unlike Taco salad I need help-mostly someone to cut up the chicken unless it's on the small side so I can do it. Mom suggested a dish similar to taco salad, a Southwestern Pasta salad but like Chicken Caesar salad.. I will need help with the pasta business (Mom says she will do it tonight even though I'm not cooking until Friday). This person is always told by her parents during the school year when Dad cooks the SAME dishes over and over again-So how come its fine for the parents to tell me to "deal with it" or find something else but yet I, the adult kid cook, can't tell the same to Dad?


*note: something I forgot to mention there been at least 3 times we didn't have either Taco Salad OR Chicken Casear salad and that is either a)had leftovers from Bible Camp (Hot dogs), b)Mom and I were out of town the entire week or C)last week's Quesadillas.
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 07:06 PM
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If you search for some recipes online, you should be able to find something else you would be able to make without help. There are a lot of recipes, so I’m sure there would be some you would like. If you can find some other meals you could make by yourself, you could cook your own food so you don’t have to eat your dad’s anymore.

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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 07:22 PM
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If you didn’t state your age, I would’ve thought this post was written by a 12 year old.

I’m sorry but unless you are disabled, there is no reason why you should be this dependent on your parents and let them rule your every move. You are wayyy too old for that. Even if you’re disabled and on disability benefits, you should still qualify for section 8 housing or something and pay it in full with your benefits.

The first step is to gain some independence. That should be your main goal right now. It would improve your life significantly.
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 07:48 PM
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Its time to move out.
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 07:48 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Silent Memory View Post
If you search for some recipes online, you should be able to find something else you would be able to make without help. There are a lot of recipes, so I’m sure there would be some you would like. If you can find some other meals you could make by yourself, you could cook your own food so you don’t have to eat your dad’s anymore.


@Slient memory its two different problems but both involve eating as A FAMILY-so any cooking I do is for FAMILY not just for myself unless its just a lunch dish which doesn't count.

Problem 1-I like making Taco Salad a LOT. Normally in previous summers all I would make is maybe once or twice would be Taco Salad. I like making it because I can do it ALL by myself. We only had Taco Salad 4.5 times this summer because Dad is "sick of taco salad" according to Mom but we haven't had taco salad since the beginning of August that's is what 6 weeks ago. I'm sick of making "Chicken Casear salad because that's all we had this summer besides the 4.5 times we had taco salad stuff, last week's Quesadillas or leftover hot dogs from Bible Camp (back in late July) not counting the week Mom and I were out of town eatting out.


Problem 2: When Dad does the cooking I'm told I have to either eat what Dad makes (and it's either going to be either: the meat will be one of the following:
Chicken, Sausage or fish,

one of the sides will be one of the following
Perogies, Sweet Potatoes, hashbrowns, baked potatoes, or potato wedges,

the other side dish will be one of the following:
peas, carrots or corn)

my other option besides not eating what dad cooks is just to fend for my *** self which I don't want to do-not when we are suppose to be eatting TOGETHER.

But I don't think its fair I have to put up with the three or more different versions of Dad's cooking when he cooks most of the time when Mom's at work that I get sick of his cooking and yet.. despite me getting sick of those meals (the only things Dad knows how to make). Yet I'm not allowed to make "taco salad" because DAD is sick of it. If the parents say I either eat what Dad makes or fend for yourself.. I as the cook should be allowed to tell Dad the same blasted thing. I hate that Taco salad is the only "summery" salad I can make entirely on my own while both Chicken Casear salad (heck even a Sausage Caesar salad-would be better I don't need help with Sausage) or any salad involving pasta I need help with.

The only other dishes I know involve someone helping me and are more winter:
chilli (well technically I can make this on my own but if I have corn muffins need Mom's help)
Spaghetti/other pasta dishes-need help with the Pasta
Cheesy Taco "Shepard's pie" only thing I need help with is finding the lid for the pan.
Asian food-not experience with Asian food since Mom makes it normally
Mini Pizzas-need help with the cheese (not grating it).
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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 07:56 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by MostUnwanted View Post
If you didn’t state your age, I would’ve thought this post was written by a 12 year old.

I’m sorry but unless you are disabled, there is no reason why you should be this dependent on your parents and let them rule your every move. You are wayyy too old for that. Even if you’re disabled and on disability benefits, you should still qualify for section 8 housing or something and pay it in full with your benefits.

The first step is to gain some independence. That should be your main goal right now. It would improve your life significantly.
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@MostUnwanted


I don't want to move out.. what I want to do is to make Taco SALAD for the FAMILY. That's the problem here. I'm told during the school year (not counting Mondays or holidays) I'm have to eat Dad's food when he cooks or make something for myself when Dad makes the same dishes (see my last post) all the bloody time which I get tired of. But yet Dad's tired of MY favourite dish that I like to make of TACO SALAD which we only have had FOUR AND A HALF TIMES THIS SUMMER (and the last time hasn't been since week of August 1st) and I'm forced to make a different **** dish both "suggestions" means I need help with part of the *** supper (Chicken Caesar Salad- which we had most of the *** summer=cut chicken) or (any pasta salad, including the "cousin" of Taco salad, South Western Pasta Salad, I need help with the Pasta part). If I'm told to make do with Dad's cooking or make something for myself, Dad should be told the same BLASTED THING ABOUT MY COOKING.

I told Mom that because I was forced most of the summer to make chicken casear salad.. it means when I get tired of Dad cooking (which i know I will)- I can complain that I'm "tired" of the same stuff over&over again.
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 08:00 PM
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Why do you need help to make other things?

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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 08:09 PM Thread Starter
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Why do you need help to make other things?
@Lysissa it's just with the chicken you have to sometimes get it off the bone sort of? I'm not 100% what Dad buys either thighs or breast chicken. I not able to do that very well. IF it was sausage I can handle it on my own. As for anything with the Pasta its could be a number of things-I can't stand the steam-sp? from the pot where the pasta is and also when I'm running around trying to also do other jobs depending on the pasta dish in question (either pouring drinks, or for winter pasta dishes finishing up the salad and serving it). Not to mention I wouldn't know when someone is "Dente" since Mom does that normally.
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 10:49 PM
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my parents would have said "you'll bloody well eat what we bloody put in front of ya" (which was mostly over boiled veges)

taco salad sounds pretty good.

have you ever made couscous? it's super easy. just add some lemon and parsley. maybe some canned tuna or other fish on the side. yum.

or how about potato salad?

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 11:11 PM
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@Morpheus
@MostUnwanted


I don't want to move out.. what I want to do is to make Taco SALAD for the FAMILY. That's the problem here. I'm told during the school year (not counting Mondays or holidays) I'm have to eat Dad's food when he cooks or make something for myself when Dad makes the same dishes (see my last post) all the bloody time which I get tired of. But yet Dad's tired of MY favourite dish that I like to make of TACO SALAD which we only have had FOUR AND A HALF TIMES THIS SUMMER (and the last time hasn't been since week of August 1st) and I'm forced to make a different **** dish both "suggestions" means I need help with part of the *** supper (Chicken Caesar Salad- which we had most of the *** summer=cut chicken) or (any pasta salad, including the "cousin" of Taco salad, South Western Pasta Salad, I need help with the Pasta part). If I'm told to make do with Dad's cooking or make something for myself, Dad should be told the same BLASTED THING ABOUT MY COOKING.

I told Mom that because I was forced most of the summer to make chicken casear salad.. it means when I get tired of Dad cooking (which i know I will)- I can complain that I'm "tired" of the same stuff over&over again.
Maybe you're going to have to split up the cooking a bit here. I know you said you want to do it for the whole family - but if your Dad is getting sick of what you like, and you're getting sick of what he wants - then I don't see any other way to fix it.

Maybe sometimes you're Mum will just have to cook for your Dad, and you could still have your Taco Salad? I don't see many other ways around this.
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-12-2019, 12:04 AM
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@Disney women I have been reading a few of your other posts. It sounds like your mum is very protective but also controlling by not letting you do things for yourself. Perhaps you could talk to your parents about having more freedom (seems to be the butt of this thread too). There is no reason why you cant do a lot of the things on your own and have more independence.

Forgive me, but I'm unsure if you have a learning disability of some sort? Your posts suggest something but you cone across as more than capable of making your own decisions. Perhaps your dad would welcome you having more freedom but your mum is being overprotective?

This is what I've pieced together from your threads, but I could be entirely wrong!

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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-12-2019, 01:23 PM Thread Starter
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1. I don't want to make taco salad for just ONE person. The WHOLE point of me making supper is for either Mom (summer) or Dad (winter) taking a break from the cooking so the supper in QUESTION is for the ENTIRE family. Dad doesn't care what I make for supper (it's not his suggestion of Chicken Caesar Salad-its always is Mom's like Pasta Southwestern (which I agreed to make tomorrow) it is also Mom's suggestion, like my suggestion is always is Taco Salad). I don't want to have supper on my own outside of Monday nights when I go bowling.


2. the cooking is already split up either Mom(summer) or Dad (fall/winter) does the cooking. Mom does the cooking in the summer Monday-Thursday and Saturday&Sunday. Dad does the Cooking in the fall/winter (Tuesday-Thursday) and Mom does the cooking Saturday&Sunday. That leaves me do it Fridays..and I really want to make just plain taco salad (expect for maybe once ) all the taco salad been "vegetarian" version of taco salad so ie: no cooking.

3) I have to ask for help with Chicken Caesar Salad because I can't get the chicken off the bone. And I also need help cooking the pasta for pasta salads I can't deal with steam raising from the pot (much too hot for me). So its not so much protectiveness its just I can't deal with any meat which isn't a)ground meat -beef/chicken or b)Sausage. I can cut the the second thing fine on my own.. but chicken off a bone is a totally different kettle of fish. I can also cook ground meat in like taco dish (salad or otherwise), chilli, scause for spaghetti, mini pizzas just fine on my own.


I know what dad's cooking will be (either: chicken, sausage or fish, with perogies, hash browns, baked potato, potato wedges, or sweet Potatoes, with peas, corn or carrots) and we have that a LOT in the fall/winter with Dad's cooking and a salad which I make.
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-12-2019, 03:16 PM
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1. I don't want to make taco salad for just ONE person. The WHOLE point of me making supper is for either Mom (summer) or Dad (winter) taking a break from the cooking so the supper in QUESTION is for the ENTIRE family. Dad doesn't care what I make for supper (it's not his suggestion of Chicken Caesar Salad-its always is Mom's like Pasta Southwestern (which I agreed to make tomorrow) it is also Mom's suggestion, like my suggestion is always is Taco Salad). I don't want to have supper on my own outside of Monday nights when I go bowling.


2. the cooking is already split up either Mom(summer) or Dad (fall/winter) does the cooking. Mom does the cooking in the summer Monday-Thursday and Saturday&Sunday. Dad does the Cooking in the fall/winter (Tuesday-Thursday) and Mom does the cooking Saturday&Sunday. That leaves me do it Fridays..and I really want to make just plain taco salad (expect for maybe once ) all the taco salad been "vegetarian" version of taco salad so ie: no cooking.

3) I have to ask for help with Chicken Caesar Salad because I can't get the chicken off the bone. And I also need help cooking the pasta for pasta salads I can't deal with steam raising from the pot (much too hot for me). So its not so much protectiveness its just I can't deal with any meat which isn't a)ground meat -beef/chicken or b)Sausage. I can cut the the second thing fine on my own.. but chicken off a bone is a totally different kettle of fish. I can also cook ground meat in like taco dish (salad or otherwise), chilli, scause for spaghetti, mini pizzas just fine on my own.


I know what dad's cooking will be (either: chicken, sausage or fish, with perogies, hash browns, baked potato, potato wedges, or sweet Potatoes, with peas, corn or carrots) and we have that a LOT in the fall/winter with Dad's cooking and a salad which I make.
Yes I can see that's a problem. Not sure how to help you I'm afraid - might have to just talk this all out with your parents.
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-12-2019, 03:20 PM
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As easiest answer I see is for everyone to cook just for yourself... You cook for yourself. Dad cooks for himself.

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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 09-12-2019, 03:29 PM Thread Starter
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So whose going to cook for MOM? Its suppose to be her night off and we need to eat together as a family but if its either Pasta salad or Chicken Salad I need her help. I don't want to cook for ONE person outside of Monday nights when I have to eat early. I LIKE cooking. Maybe next week regardless of what Dad thinks I should just make what I want to make for both parents and I can tell Dad what they tell me all the *** time in the winter you either eat what I make or you make something for yourself.

(Dad's suggestion when I complained that its HIS fault I can't make taco salad because he's sick of it was mini pizzas. 1)I don't want mini pizzas because last Thursday we had normal pizza and Mom and I eat most of the leftover pizza during Friday and weekend, and 2)I had mini pizzas at my program on Monday so I don't really want more pizza) then his other thing is when I told him what they tell me all the time during the winter- his reaction was to laugh.

Because outside of supper the family doesn't even see each other at all because of a)Mom's work during the school year b)my program twice a week, c)bowling and d) my volunteer work once a week. Since Dad does my hair we see each other at "breakfast" time 3 days a week and read parts of the paper silently. But depending on if Mom's at home or not.. i don't see her until 3 or later on day-programs. Or if its a volunteer day-its between 11am-and noon i see her IF she's at home (if I see her later it's because she's at work). That why we have to eat supper together the other 4 days of the week+weekend
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