I’m so stupid for thinking that things will ever get better for someone like me. I’m a sensitive outcasted soul who’s been hurt by too many people to count and that’s how it’s always going to be. I’m never good enough for anyone and that’s how it always will be. It’s never going to change and I’m stupid for ever being hopeful.
Lately, I’ve been studying philosophy, absurdism and Existentialism because when we have social issues, moral issues or are just looking to find our place in this life, there is a lot of relatable and understandable perspectives in that study.
Having faith in yourself is just like having faith in others... it leaves you vulnerable and open to being hurt so it’s either you take that pain of being human or lose all faith in humanity.
I've been seeking happiness for years.
I've lived in hiding from the darkness.
I've spent so many hours in question.
I've prayed that God finds me soon.
Only to realize I must find myself.
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more, It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. - Macbeth
I'm not gonna say that things will get better someday because i'm not a normie,i can only talk about what i've experienced in my life thus far,for me things haven't gotten better than say ,5 years ago,if anything they've gotten worse,i'm still a hermit who gets treated like crap by everyone .
I used to think the same but life does get better.
~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
How can You be my fire if my heart has grown cold
How can You be my future if I've made this my home ~ Love & the Outcome
I feel you very much, cuz Im feeling like this too. I lost hope in ppl and life in general. For me life fluctuates between sad/boring/tiring existence to pure hell. I dont want to be the "oh no! life WILL change" folk, so I can say only this: some ppl just get more lucky by being born to the right environment (so they have to put less effort to live comfortably), while others appear in bad environment and either become rotten themselves, either try to improve and see how odds are stacked against them in every direction. They try and fail, environment drags em down everytime they think they got any better. Its pure hell... I wish you all the best! Feel free to write if you wanna talk.
Being vulnerable and open isn't being stupid. Of course you're going to find it difficult, you have to work hard to find someone to spend your life with, after all! There'll be pain, but if you ask anyone who's married, they'll tell you that all that is worth it for what they have now x