Sour grapes - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 07-23-2020, 11:24 AM Thread Starter
drifting in mist
 
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Sour grapes


I'm a scoffer. I don't talk much but inwardly I tend to be scoffing at how bad this or that is. Or thinking of all the ways that society is wrong, harmful and backwards. But I wonder, if I felt in any way a useful and contributing member to that society, would I still have all these criticisms? In my mind they seem objective, but could it be just a case of sour grapes? I wish I were someone who built things instead of tearing down, but all I can create are pitiful and misshapen things.
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 07-23-2020, 04:20 PM
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I think there's a difference between being critical of something and rejecting it because you can't have it. Granted, it's not always easy to tell the difference, because we use the same part of the brain in both criticism and justification for our resentments. I suspect that if you were a more "useful and contributing member" to society some of your criticisms would fade and others would remain. I'm a very critical person but I don't think I often succumb to sour grapes.

I love Society. It is entirely composed now of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics. Just what Society should be.
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 07-23-2020, 04:28 PM
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I am the master of sour grapes.

For me personally, yes, this phenomenon takes up a large part of my psychology and motivations. It's a smaller part of the large umbrella of cognitive dissonance, and that is something to be constantly on your guard for.

So yes, if you are resentful and critical of something, its wise to very strongly examine it. If you can't actually accept the truth of what you want, what your needs are, you aren't ever going to be able to get them.

Of course, if you unveil all of this, you have to then be prepared to look it in the face, and methodically set about the steps to make it happen. This is hard.

But yes, sour grapes, watch out for them.

Compassion focused therapy audio, guided meditations:

https://balancedminds.com/audio/
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