First off, I'm a gay man, 24 years old who tries to cope with everything in my life with a character called Jesse McCree from overwatch, I've been obsessing over him since the day the game was released, I have a lot of photos of him in my google photos, had a lot of merchandise of him. Basically, it's like he's my part of my life to get through, to get going. a reason to live, and I wish I was joking but I'm not. I'm a social anxiety person so I do not like to talk with a real people so that's why I'm dependant on him all the time.
I had the first panic around late 2018 when blizzard is featuring McCree with a woman called Ashe. My life was instantly going downhill at that point, had no hope and I don't know how will I cope without him.
However, Michael Chu (who was the writer back then) confirmed that they're not in a relationship. I was feeling relieved for a while.
However My life was feeling exhausted again since last Monday Blizzard announcing that there's will be a new McCree lore involving a woman, plus the faces I know that Chu isn't a writer of Blizzard anymore I'm feeling afraid that blizzard could retcon (cancels anything that Chu was writing about him) anything including the relationship with the woman called Ashe. even worse he did somehow confirmed that it could be real: https://twitter.com/westofhouse/stat...03529995169793
I was afraid, lifeless and feeling lost. I don't know how will I cope about this, how will I cope about the fact that I don't have anyone to help me get through my life anymore.
I was skipping a lot of classes this week and just don't want to get off my bed anymore. I don't want to eat even. I feel like life is pointless now without him to the one point I'm planning to buy an nitrogen gas and a mask to just end myself. I can't live with this pain anymore.
I kept thinking about him all the time, he was my crush, an imaginary boyfriend. now he's gone just like that and I don't have anyone to talk nor explain my problem in real life.