Society creates killers by teasing the shy until they become violent ! ! ! - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 02:37 PM Thread Starter
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Society creates killers by teasing the shy until they become violent ! ! !


Seriously, if there is 1 quiet guy in a place, why keep trying to tick him off !!

I am so ****ing tired of people saying rude things about me, in my presence, as if they want to see my reaction. There are 3 new young women at work this week. Naturally like any other young man, I am curious, and want to make a good impression.

So, we are all standing in the lunch room, someone's son is there. The boy feels a bit shy.

One guy says : He must be shy because he is in a room full of women.

A woman says : "Well, its not a room full of women, what about Vincymon."

The man says "Well Vincymon doesn't count, he's neutral neutral, he's got a lot more X chromosome's than Y. Like XXXXXX ...... Y"


I mean, why the ___ would you, unprovoked say something like that !
I mean seriously !

Here is a man, prob. 20 years my senior, happily married. Why does he feel the need to say something insultive about my manhood, everytime women are around !

I am the quietest person in the lab. Ok, fine I get it. Just leave me the F!!! alone, I don't need your smart -ssed comments .

D--mmit I will be so happy when i leave this f_cking country to go study. I am getting fed up of people like that.


If you see a shy guy and you think he's nothing but a P--- keep that to yourself. He is better as a p----y than a p--sy with a gun that decides to take out his rage on you.

One day people will understand the link between relentless bullying, and violence. One day.
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post #2 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 02:41 PM
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I saw a story on America's Most Wanted. The same thing happened to this guy at a restaurant. He was extremely shy and he kept getting crap from his co-workers. One day he snapped and he walked inside the kitchen. He took out a gun and killed his boss and another employee. At the end of the segment, Walsh said look for a guy with a social phobia (or something along those lines) in his mid (whatever). I don't think they ever found him. It makes me wonder if he killed himself.
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post #3 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 02:43 PM
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Some people just tend to be inconsiderate of others feelings, they don't have the empathetic qualities that alot of nice people do have. Try not to take it personally, I'm sure he's a jackass to alot of people.

As for society creating killers, I feel that's rubbish to blame a killers actions on everyone else. That is just a giant cop out and killing someone because they insulted you is the worst resolution I can think of to solving the problem of being bothered by others.
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post #4 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 02:51 PM
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Check out the Columbine Massacre, Virginia Tech shootings, and George Sodini.
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post #5 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 02:54 PM
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Check out the Columbine Massacre, Virginia Tech shootings, and George Sodini.
I was just about to make a post with the exact same point.
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post #6 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 02:55 PM Thread Starter
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Some people just tend to be inconsiderate of others feelings, they don't have the empathetic qualities that alot of nice people do have. Try not to take it personally, I'm sure he's a jackass to alot of people.

As for society creating killers, I feel that's rubbish to blame a killers actions on everyone else. That is just a giant cop out and killing someone because they insulted you is the worst resolution I can think of to solving the problem of being bothered by others.

I know that. I just feel so frustrated. Like many S.A.ers I cannot come up with useful retorts when people say things like that to me. Anything I could have said in response wouldn't sting as much as what he said. It makes me feel so powerless.
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post #7 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 02:57 PM
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On a website registered in his name,[7] Sodini chronicled over a nine-month period his rejections by women and his severe sexual frustration.
OMG I pray I don't end up like him.
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post #8 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 02:57 PM
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Originally Posted by BetaBoy90 View Post
Some people just tend to be inconsiderate of others feelings, they don't have the empathetic qualities that alot of nice people do have. Try not to take it personally, I'm sure he's a jackass to alot of people.

As for society creating killers, I feel that's rubbish to blame a killers actions on everyone else. That is just a giant cop out and killing someone because they insulted you is the worst resolution I can think of to solving the problem of being bothered by others.

^ What he said.


I don't think this thread is appropriate.

"I think the existential dilemma is: We're social animals, so we all wrestle with a sense of inadequacy. But when we realize that we're not as inadequate as we thought we were, and when we realize that everybody elese also thinks they're inadequate, then the ache goes away and the idea that we're not a person of value disappears to some extent."

"I wash myself with a rag on a stick"
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post #9 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 02:59 PM
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I watched something once that came out after Virginia Tech and someone said that sadly, a lot of kids who snap and hurt or even kill people are often the kids that got tripped in the hallways every day for years and years. And it's true too. When people tease you, especially as a child and teenager, it gets to you more than someone with more years of perspective in the adult world. I could ignore someone now much easier than I could as a child. And when you're at school, surrounded by people who tease you relentlessly, it starts to make you think the world is like that. It's no excuse to be violent, but to a certain extent I can understand.
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post #10 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 03:16 PM
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People don't really just snap. All the years of torment just builds up and accumulates into negative thoughts. Instead of steering away from those thoughts people tend to embrace them. Epically if the person is isolated and has no friends to show them positive stuff. You have all the time in the world to plot your evil deeds.
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post #11 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 03:24 PM
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Give me a break. "Society" doesn't create killers. These people are mentally ill and inclined towards violence anyway. It's like that line in "Scream" -- "Movies don't create psychos; movies just make psychos more creative." The taunting just gives an outlet/excuse to people who are already inclined, through illness, to do harm.

You have a choice in how to react to ridicule. In today's society, however, the victim mentality is prevalent; it's always someone else's fault. Sodini, and Sodini alone, was responsible for the violence. Even if he had gotten dates, he probably would still have found an outlet for his violent urges.
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post #12 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 03:26 PM Thread Starter
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Give me a break. "Society" doesn't create killers. These people are mentally ill and inclined towards violence anyway. It's like that line in "Scream" -- "Movies don't create psychos; movies just make psychos more creative." The taunting just gives an outlet/excuse to people who are already inclined, through illness, to do harm.

You have a choice in how to react to ridicule. In today's society, however, the victim mentality is prevalent; it's always someone else's fault. Sodini, and Sodini alone, was responsible for the violence. Even if he had gotten dates, he probably would still have found an outlet for his violent urges.

Dude, I know ! sheesh. Alright the title is inflammatory. Can we get past that. Did you even read my post ???
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post #13 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 03:32 PM
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Dude, yeah I read it, and you say the same thing, that bullying leads to violence.
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post #14 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 03:38 PM
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No, society doesn't create killers, but it can draw out the 'killer' in people who already have it in them.

You don't poke a sleeping bear...


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post #15 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 03:44 PM Thread Starter
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Dude, yeah I read it, and you say the same thing, that bullying leads to violence.
I'm just angry. Can't a guy express his anger, without people taking it like "OMG, gimme a break"

This is like those threads when guys express frustration at women. It doesn't mean they hate women, or want to kill women. They are just frustrated at the time.

But this isn't even the same thing. You try to date girl and she rejects you, ok. Fair enough.

But I just don't get why, as I am standing in the kitchenette having some water, another man feels the need to say I got no Y chromosomes.


When I said, kill I mean, do something bad. I know for example, if I responded back with an insult, it would only prove his point. This isn't big enough to file a complaint for. If I complain, it proves his point. If years later I take revenge by giving his kids a pain in school, will look like a jerk.

So what can I do ? Just ignore it ? I want to ignore it, but it keeps happening.
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post #16 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 04:08 PM
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Sounds like he wanted to sound funny for the girls and picked you as an "easy" target.
I hope if something like this happens again, you confront the guy. You don't have to be angry when you do, in fact being calm and mature will go a long way in making him look even more immature than he is.
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post #17 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 04:19 PM
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I remember watching a special on a news channel about how over 90% of all prisoners came from abusive households with parents who neglected them.

If you keep suppressing someone, they'll go into self defense mode and fight back.
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post #18 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 04:24 PM
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Originally Posted by VIncymon View Post
Seriously, if there is 1 quiet guy in a place, why keep trying to tick him off !!

I am so ****ing tired of people saying rude things about me, in my presence, as if they want to see my reaction. There are 3 new young women at work this week. Naturally like any other young man, I am curious, and want to make a good impression.

So, we are all standing in the lunch room, someone's son is there. The boy feels a bit shy.

One guy says : He must be shy because he is in a room full of women.

A woman says : "Well, its not a room full of women, what about Vincymon."

The man says "Well Vincymon doesn't count, he's neutral neutral, he's got a lot more X chromosome's than Y. Like XXXXXX ...... Y"


I mean, why the ___ would you, unprovoked say something like that !
I mean seriously !

Here is a man, prob. 20 years my senior, happily married. Why does he feel the need to say something insultive about my manhood, everytime women are around !

I am the quietest person in the lab. Ok, fine I get it. Just leave me the F!!! alone, I don't need your smart -ssed comments .

D--mmit I will be so happy when i leave this f_cking country to go study. I am getting fed up of people like that.


If you see a shy guy and you think he's nothing but a P--- keep that to yourself. He is better as a p----y than a p--sy with a gun that decides to take out his rage on you.

One day people will understand the link between relentless bullying, and violence. One day.
Not everyone behaves violently because they were teased, just like the people who mistreated you did not do so necessarily because they themselves were mistreated. Contrary to popular belief, bullies don't (necessarily) torment other people as a means of lashing out against 'the world', they torment other people because they have abnormally high self-esteem. They view themselves as better than their victims.

I'm sorry for your experiences and can relate. People behave the way they do because they lack empathy and this is why I'm disgusted by most of them.
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No, society doesn't create killers, but it can draw out the 'killer' in people who already have it in them.
Everyone has a killer in them. I could easily see myself killing many people in rage. I feel that these people deserve to suffer and I can`t bring myself to feel compassion for them. Revenge might not be healthy but it is `natural`.
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post #19 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 04:31 PM
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When I said, kill I mean, do something bad. I know for example, if I responded back with an insult, it would only prove his point. This isn't big enough to file a complaint for. If I complain, it proves his point. If years later I take revenge by giving his kids a pain in school, will look like a jerk.

So what can I do ? Just ignore it ? I want to ignore it, but it keeps happening.
If there's a specific person who's making these comments to you on a regular basis, then yeah, it's big enough to file a complaint over. It's workplace harassment and you shouldn't have to "just ignore it".

First, you tell him that you want him to stop the insulting comments. He might not even realize it's doing any harm at all, and that could be the end of it right there.

But if he still keeps it up, well, you don't just walk into your boss's office and complain verbally.

What you'd need to do is to start documenting every one of his inappropriate comments. Note the date and time, and names of any witnesses who were around to hear it. You could pull these witnesses aside and ask if they'd be willing to back you up, should you go forward with a formal complaint (plus for all you know, other people could feel the same way about the guy).

Once you have some documented cases, take it to your HR department or his supervisor (or yours), or whoever's in a position above you both.

If it's bothering you enough to go on this kind of a rant about it, it's legitimate enough to file a complaint over.


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post #20 of 64 (permalink) Old 07-29-2010, 04:40 PM
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the tittle of the thread does not represent the frustration... but regarding that, i don't agree for the SIMPLE fact that if you tease ANYONE, shy, fat, skinny, short, etc., heck i could go right now and call someone random in the streets and call him stupid idiot and he will get mad probably pull out a knife or gun at me, they will not like it. anyone can become a killer, even the guy who teased you, if being provoked enough.

society does not create killers. their parents do.

but, you should have said something witty and funny... like... [still thinking]... [brain error]...
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