Social anxiety disorder ****ing sucks and so do the suggested solutions - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-06-2020, 01:43 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 1

Social anxiety disorder ****ing sucks and so do the suggested solutions


Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in my case is 95% useless. Every time I read about Social Anxiety Disorder the most common symptoms given are "fear that people are judging you", "feeling like everyone is looking at you", having a bunch of "what ifs?" and ruminating over what might happen.

I get almost literally none of that. When I do get actual thoughts like that I handle it very well. I want purple boxing gloves. That's not the most masculine color. Who cares? What's more masculine, using purple boxing gloves or using a different color because you're worried about other people's judgement? A lot of women love purple, maybe some of them will come to compliment your gloves. Wouldn't that be great?

When I get an actual anxious thought that's how I handle it and it works. I don't struggle with that at all. However, 99% of the time, there is NO thought like that.

A lot of CBT techniques come off as either completely stupid or just simply entirely irrelevant to my case. Thinking about making a phone call can paralyze me with fear. "What's the worst that could happen?" Is one of those questions/techniques suggested.

Well, let's take a look. What's the worst that could happen? My phone blows up as I'm dialing the phone number and I lose both my hands. That sounds bad to me, maybe that's the worst? That doesn't scare me at all. I'm not worried about that. Let's rephrase the question to be "What's the worst that could happen that worries you?" Good question! What's the worst that can happen... ****, that's interesting. I'm not actually worried about anything at all! The anticipation of doing the phone call, just thinking about it is what scares me to death. If someone else calls, and then I take over after the person on the other end has already answered, then I'm fine.

What about going to boxing classes? Well at my previous gym, I did have some things that were worrying me. The air wasn't very clean and I have asthma. That may very well be just me over-thinking it. Maybe not, but either way, I changed boxing gym. I was extremely stressed out, but I managed to go. Once I got there the anxiety went away (as I expected). I like the coach, I liked my training partners. I signed up on the spot.

I haven't been able to go back since. Why? I don't know. At this point I'm having doubts that this even is social anxiety disorder, maybe they'll come up with some new "social activity anticipation disorder". The class is Saturday morning, today is Thursday and I was already stressing out way too much. I texted the coach to let him no I would no longer attend classes. I missed 3 classes already. I got lucky last week because something came up which meant I literally couldn't go no matter what, and that saved me from stressing Thursday to Saturday.

...

Now let's talk about exposure therapy. Let's also talk about learning a language. With languages I'm lucky, I can learn a language a lot more easily than other people can. I'd say I learned English passively by playing video games, in about 5 years. I certainly didn't learn it in school if I dropped out at 16 and had been absent about 40% of the time to class during the three years prior thanks to social anxiety disorder. As a challenge I tried to learn Spanish by myself, on purpose. Replace my days of playing video games with just and only learning Spanish. That went exceptionally well, it took much less than a year.

Let's compare that with exposure therapy for social anxiety disorder. Good news is: it helps. Exposure therapy helps. In the short term. Succeed at going to boxing class twice a week 6 weeks in a row without skipping a beat? Great! For legitimate, unrelated reasons, you have to miss a few weeks? Great! Fantastic! You're right back at the start, a whole month of progress gone. It took me almost three months to sign up again, and I was able to only go once.

The thing that troubles me the most is that I had about 1 or 2 years in which my social anxiety was almost completely gone. I quit high school and everybody judged me for it (they told me, this isn't a cognitive distortion) and I didn't care. I let everyone know they could tell me about why I should go back to school once, but after that, they couldn't talk about it again. I had zero trouble speaking my mind and setting up boundaries with people. I wasn't "managing" my anxiety, there wasn't any to manage. I could go on quite a few tangents on possible explanations, but nothing certain.

Point being, even when it seems that there's been a ton of improvement, it looks like nothing is actually permanent. If no improvement is permanent, than what is the ****ing point of torturing myself with efforts and false hope? I like working out. If I spend 3 months doing push ups, stop a whole month, and start back again, not only do I start back at maybe 70% of my previous strength, but it comes right back to where I was in a matter of a few weeks. Social anxiety isn't like that. If you screw up for just two weeks, you're ****ed for the next 5 months. So again, what is the ****ing point then?
AnxiousDev is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-13-2020, 12:29 PM
SAS Member
 
Goodname's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 10
I think if you stick to the right therapy for a long time you will get permanent resultsŲŒ try dr richard cbt therapy it really the best thing i found helping with SA
Goodname is offline  
post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-13-2020, 04:00 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Posts: 41
Too long, didnt read. But i wonder what is the real solution of social anxiety
theplayer is offline  
 
post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-13-2020, 04:12 PM
SAS Member
 
Goodname's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by theplayer View Post
Too long, didnt read. But i wonder what is the real solution of social anxiety
. The real and scientific proven solution for social anxiety is CBT therapy , and you can find online cbt from dr Richard named 'overcoming social anxiety' its the best but its expensive
Goodname is offline  
post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-13-2020, 10:54 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 82
I know what you mean. Anticipation anxiety is the problem and not negative thoughts. And also once you get the ball rolling with exposure therapy and it feels like you are finally getting better but then spend a week or two in isolation then it's all back to square one as the anxiety rebounds. I think most people with social anxiety just don't get used to people and situations like other people do. That's a temperamental trait and cannot be changed which is why social anxiety is such a tough nut to crack.
samboychippies is offline  
post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-18-2020, 07:57 AM
(*__*)
 
Mlt18's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: U.S
Language: N/A
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,140
Quote:
Originally Posted by samboychippies View Post
I know what you mean. Anticipation anxiety is the problem and not negative thoughts. And also once you get the ball rolling with exposure therapy and it feels like you are finally getting better but then spend a week or two in isolation then it's all back to square one as the anxiety rebounds. I think most people with social anxiety just don't get used to people and situations like other people do. That's a temperamental trait and cannot be changed which is why social anxiety is such a tough nut to crack.

Yeah, that's a big problem for me. Not being around people much for a few days will make it like I never knew how to socialize in the first place. Also, being around most people that I'm not used to makes me feel negative emotions, even if mentally I try to think positive thoughts and calm myself down.
Mlt18 is offline  
post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-18-2020, 12:18 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 77
My Mood: Amused
Quote:
Originally Posted by samboychippies View Post
I know what you mean. Anticipation anxiety is the problem and not negative thoughts. And also once you get the ball rolling with exposure therapy and it feels like you are finally getting better but then spend a week or two in isolation then it's all back to square one as the anxiety rebounds. I think most people with social anxiety just don't get used to people and situations like other people do. That's a temperamental trait and cannot be changed which is why social anxiety is such a tough nut to crack.
It also depends on your personality, if you are HSP ect. Certain personalities are the root cause for SA.
Shadow123 is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome