So depressed - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-13-2020, 11:54 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 63

So depressed


Feeling tired, hopeless, unmotivated, no appetite, no friends, no interest or pleasure from hobbies, poor grades, i don't study, memory and focus problems, staying in bed all day, i take medication but it doesn't help at all, I'm not suicidal yet i want to die, i keep imagining different methods, i am so lost and numb and empty, i don't know how to help myself, i feel so so so bad, low, it's so sad life keeps going on no matter how awful and terrible i feel, can someone help me please
Mark Clarke is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-13-2020, 07:42 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 14
My Mood: Sleepy
Sometimes waking up to another day is like having won a prize for making it this far. But sometimes the sunlight just looks like the headlights of a runaway train. In my mind, that's being passively suicidal: not wanting to do it, but daydreaming about it. What I find sucks the most is how numb we can get to life. It all just starts feeling so disturbing and off-putting. It's like when you're so cold that your toes feel numb and that maybe you could chop them off without even feeling it. That's the critical point I start chopping things and people out of my life without feeling it. And it's not until those things and people make their ways back into my life that I realize how absolutely meaningless it is without them. But I can't afford to constantly loose them and have them back; life's not a tide. Don't get me wrong, death is definitely a tide. But life isn't. So sometimes we can get through the day by singing or dancing, sometimes by screaming or crying, sometimes just by sleeping and resetting. But I refuse to be numb.I'd rather run for hours in place and feel my lungs gasp for air than be numb. I'd rather be angry than numb. If my toes are chopped off, I need to ****ing feel it because it would be so absurd not to.
DeeAyJay is offline  
post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-13-2020, 07:45 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 14
My Mood: Sleepy
One more thing... I can be your friend if you want. I'm not always very chipper, I'm not always very honest, I sometimes close off but I would always be nice.
DeeAyJay is offline  
 
post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-14-2020, 12:31 AM
Secretly Che Guevara
 
TheyWillJudgeMe's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2020
Location: In Sodomy
Language: American Sign Language
Gender: Other
Posts: 49
My Mood: Brooding
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeeAyJay View Post
Sometimes waking up to another day is like having won a prize for making it this far. But sometimes the sunlight just looks like the headlights of a runaway train. In my mind, that's being passively suicidal: not wanting to do it, but daydreaming about it. What I find sucks the most is how numb we can get to life. It all just starts feeling so disturbing and off-putting. It's like when you're so cold that your toes feel numb and that maybe you could chop them off without even feeling it. That's the critical point I start chopping things and people out of my life without feeling it. And it's not until those things and people make their ways back into my life that I realize how absolutely meaningless it is without them. But I can't afford to constantly loose them and have them back; life's not a tide. Don't get me wrong, death is definitely a tide. But life isn't. So sometimes we can get through the day by singing or dancing, sometimes by screaming or crying, sometimes just by sleeping and resetting. But I refuse to be numb.I'd rather run for hours in place and feel my lungs gasp for air than be numb. I'd rather be angry than numb. If my toes are chopped off, I need to ****ing feel it because it would be so absurd not to.
Honestly, this is so beautiful to read. I relate to it so deeply and some of it is feelings I never thought I could put into words, but you went ahead and put them into words for me, and it's so nice to hear. They're not nice feelings but it's a nice thing to know. A nice thing to know that there are others. Others on the same wavelength as me. <3 @DeeAyJay

somebody cares about you.
TheyWillJudgeMe is offline  
post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-14-2020, 04:11 AM
SAS Member
 
john.myles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2020
Location: New Zealand
Gender: Male
Age: 51
Posts: 146
Do you like nature Mark? Oftentimes just going for a walk among some trees, spotting different birds, feeling the sun shining down (if it happens to be a sunny day) and just realizing that getting outside and stretching the legs is actually good for health - mental health too - can be a positive thing. Depending on where you live of course, you see a lot of people doing the exact same thing - walking. Kind of makes you feel a bit more normal.

Hang in there buddy and try not to get too lost in depressive thoughts, please. One day good things will come your way. It's happened for me before.
john.myles is offline  
post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-14-2020, 10:04 AM
Not like the other ducks
 
Persephone The Dread's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: 8800 blue lick road
Language: Eng (UK,) 下手な日本語
Posts: 40,888
I relate to a lot of this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YouTube comment
Yet another man lost to irony poisoning, cynicism, hyper-self awareness and the inability to be sincere.

Persephone The Dread is offline  
post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-14-2020, 12:31 PM
SAS Member
 
chrisinmd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Maryland
Language: English
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,353
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Clarke View Post
Feeling tired, hopeless, unmotivated, no appetite, no friends, no interest or pleasure from hobbies, poor grades, i don't study, memory and focus problems, staying in bed all day, i take medication but it doesn't help at all, I'm not suicidal yet i want to die, i keep imagining different methods, i am so lost and numb and empty, i don't know how to help myself, i feel so so so bad, low, it's so sad life keeps going on no matter how awful and terrible i feel, can someone help me please
First off if you need a friend message me and we can chat. Your not alone.

So do you have a job as well as going to school? Have you been to therapy or been on medication? They can help.

Pretty much nothing is bad enough to kill yourself over. Unless your like doing life in prison or have some horrible terminal disease that wont ever improve. Trust me I have been through some horrible stuff in life that a whole lot of people have killed themselves for a lot less then what I went through.

It does get better but you have to take steps to make it better. Start off by getting medical help of necessary. Then start doing something you get joy out of. There has got to be something that you enjoy doing? Hell even watching tv all day is a reason not to kill yourself. Dont want to miss out on your favorite Netflix show next season right? lol

Set some goals for yourself. Then you will feel better about yourself when you accomplish them. They can be small goals like getting out of bed. You have to start somewhere.

Message me if you need someone to talk to.
chrisinmd is offline  
post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-14-2020, 12:41 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisinmd View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Clarke View Post
Feeling tired, hopeless, unmotivated, no appetite, no friends, no interest or pleasure from hobbies, poor grades, i don't study, memory and focus problems, staying in bed all day, i take medication but it doesn't help at all, I'm not suicidal yet i want to die, i keep imagining different methods, i am so lost and numb and empty, i don't know how to help myself, i feel so so so bad, low, it's so sad life keeps going on no matter how awful and terrible i feel, can someone help me please
First off if you need a friend message me and we can chat. Your not alone.

So do you have a job as well as going to school? Have you been to therapy or been on medication? They can help.

Pretty much nothing is bad enough to kill yourself over. Unless your like doing life in prison or have some horrible terminal disease that wont ever improve. Trust me I have been through some horrible stuff in life that a whole lot of people have killed themselves for a lot less then what I went through.

It does get better but you have to take steps to make it better. Start off by getting medical help of necessary. Then start doing something you get joy out of. There has got to be something that you enjoy doing? Hell even watching tv all day is a reason not to kill yourself. Dont want to miss out on your favorite Netflix show next season right? lol

Set some goals for yourself. Then you will feel better about yourself when you accomplish them. They can be small goals like getting out of bed. You have to start somewhere.

Message me if you need someone to talk to.
I don't have a job, just med school, i am on medication but without results, i didn't find therapy helpful &#x1f61e;
Mark Clarke is offline  
post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-14-2020, 12:46 PM
SAS Member
 
chrisinmd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Maryland
Language: English
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,353
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Clarke View Post
I don't have a job, just med school, i am on medication but without results, i didn't find therapy helpful &#x1f61e;
Your in medical school? Impressive that is a large goal. Well it should keep you going that if you reach your goal to become a Dr. you will be helping a whole lot of people
chrisinmd is offline  
post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-15-2020, 04:21 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 14
My Mood: Sleepy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Clarke View Post
I don't have a job, just med school, i am on medication but without results, i didn't find therapy helpful &#x1f61e;
Wow! Med school! That is absolutely tough. Which year are you in?
The people I know who are in med school tell me the only way to get through it is to have a hell of a backbone, a wishbone and a funny bone. But most importantly, they say you have to have a "why". Why are you doing it, why do you continue, why is it worth it... And each time you face a difficult situation that challenges your "why", it becomes an opportunity to make your "why" clearer and stronger.
All that to say I really encourage you to be mindful of your "why" and hold it firmly in the fore-front of your mind.
I sent you a friend request btw. Hope you're feeling a little better today.
DeeAyJay is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome