Should i quit university? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-03-2019, 02:52 AM Thread Starter
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Should i quit university?


My problems are hard to cope. I started going to university but social anxiety and depression is ruining my life. I couldnt make any friends. Just going to lectures but i get depressed when i see other people hang out together and im alone. And its more depressing to drop out of university and stay at home all day. i dont know what to do.
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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-03-2019, 09:02 PM
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I've been where you are. I know what it's like to go to lecture and see tons of people socializing with their friends while being all alone and then going home feeling lonely afterwards. I know what it's like to stare at a textbook of class material that you are supposed to learn and not find the motivation to study because it feels pointless when you know you are going to go home and feel lonely. But I encourage you to focus on graduating and getting your degree while advancing towards a career that you are passionate about and earn a good salary from. Now that I'm older, I wish I had graduated on time and focused on my career because if you live with social anxiety for the rest of your life, your work is what you will be spending most of your time doing, so make sure you end up with a career doing something that you care about and make a good living from. That being said, if you haven't already started seeing a doctor and trying different anti-depressants/medications to overcome social anxiety and depression, I strongly suggest you begin immediately. There is hope with medication, but it can take a while to find the right one, so get started right away. I know how you feel buddy, you are not alone. Hang in there!
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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-03-2019, 10:57 PM
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Just focus on your studies. I did. Most of those friendships are fake anyways. I was haniging out with one guy who had a group. They seemed like they were all close and they were all so friendly to each other and I even got to know this guy and his group really well.

A conversation between me and him popped up about him maybe having to leave and I said to him that he's leaving all his friends and the response he gave me was he didn't care about any of those guys lmao. He did treat me pretty well so I wasn't sweating our friendship but looks can be deceiving.

I also use to be in this school work group with this one chick who seemed to be besties with this other girl and by the end of the semester, the girl kept telling me how much of a b word the other girl was lmao. PS I now work next to that girl for the same company loooool I should tell her one of these days how much backstabbing her "friend" was doing. They seemed so close to each other.

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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-04-2019, 06:29 AM
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My problems are hard to cope. I started going to university but social anxiety and depression is ruining my life. I couldnt make any friends. Just going to lectures but i get depressed when i see other people hang out together and im alone. And its more depressing to drop out of university and stay at home all day. i dont know what to do.
Ask yourself this - If you do quit, what do you think you are going to regret the most 30 years from now? Having no friends while in university or dropping out of university?

Another question. How is dropping out of university going to help you get what you want?

/WYSD
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-04-2019, 09:55 AM
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Try to make it through school. How much longer do you have to go? Dealing with SA does get better on its own once you finish school so you are going to have to deal with your SA either way. Try seeing a therapist or medication. That is the way to get better
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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-04-2019, 02:14 PM
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Just focus on your studies. I did. Most of those friendships are fake anyways. I was haniging out with one guy who had a group. They seemed like they were all close and they were all so friendly to each other and I even got to know this guy and his group really well.

A conversation between me and him popped up about him maybe having to leave and I said to him that he's leaving all his friends and the response he gave me was he didn't care about any of those guys lmao. He did treat me pretty well so I wasn't sweating our friendship but looks can be deceiving.

I also use to be in this school work group with this one chick who seemed to be besties with this other girl and by the end of the semester, the girl kept telling me how much of a b word the other girl was lmao. PS I now work next to that girl for the same company loooool I should tell her one of these days how much backstabbing her "friend" was doing. They seemed so close to each other.

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LOL. yeah looks can be deceiving. That's why I don't sweat it-- everyone has their issues.

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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-04-2019, 02:16 PM
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No. From Best to worst:

1. At university and being all social blah
2. Getting a degree
3. Dropping out

You are doing the epitome of black and white thinking, either you are social at university, or you drop out. There is option number 2, getting the degree.

As for being depressed, yeh, it sucks. As does anxiety. Over the last few months I have experienced pretty excruciating pain. I have anxiety, depression, OCD, my GF left me, my world collapsed. But it's a feeling, it ****ing hurts, but I have no choice but to continue. **** will change, it always does. In a year I will probably be with someone else, maybe have a career, **** it, you gotta go on.

Enough about me, lets talk about you, what do you think about me?
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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-04-2019, 03:14 PM
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Hey

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time! I know that you can feel upset when you see others making friends and you aren't able to, but remember that you probably won't even remember most of these people once you walk out with a degree! That degree is the main reason you're there, and while it's nice to make friends, don't lose sight of your primary reason to going to university

The university (in the UK, anyways) should have support services such as counselling and disability services, as well as personal tutors, so speak to them and they can help you - I know some that have had their entire university experience turn from a negative to a positive by reaching out for support. There's nothing to lose and no time to waste, so go for it!x

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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-04-2019, 03:19 PM
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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-04-2019, 07:28 PM
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if you can bear it, do it. you don't want to be 30 and not have a degree. i'd give anything to go back to being late teens or early 20s and fixing my mistakes, the cessation of school being one of them
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post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-04-2019, 07:32 PM
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How are your grades? Are you in a major you are genuinely interested in or just going for the sake of traditional route of higher education and then the workforce?

It's your decision alone if you are that unsatisfied and lack aim as to what you will do if you decide to complete and get that piece of paper called a diploma. Maybe consider trade school since there are some occupations that can give decent pay.

Also depression does affect various aspects, so if you are not getting treated then I'd say do it ASAP so that you have a clearer vision on what you want/should do. Learned that the hard way - twice.
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post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-06-2019, 05:44 PM
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Should i quit university?


Whether you make friends or not, you can still enjoy your time at uni. I didnít make any friends at Uni either but I really liked going to the lectures and learning new things everyday. I didnít enjoy taking tests or doing hw tho lol but it was nice to have something to fill up your time instead of just staying home all day and going to Uni beats working. Once you graduate and start working youíll know what I mean, itís awful. So enjoy your time at school while you can.


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post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-08-2019, 10:55 AM
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I dropped out twice, the first time I don't regret much because the main tutor was a ***** to me. The second time I was doing a really good job, had really supportive tutors and then I started panicking about lectures and speeches and everything got on top of me. My parents tried to help, my tutors tried to help and I blocked them all out and avoided the problem. I regret that now. I've self studied the subject at home whilst in a full time job which was hard work! But I now have a qualification, it's been a struggle though. Help is out there, utilise it as others have said, and also as others said you're thinking very black and white, there are a tonne of grey options. I would start by reaching out to a tutor you find the most approachable and just being very honest. Or you could look into student support at your university if that's more approachable for you, they will have most likely dealt with similar issues before. You're honestly not alone, you can do this!
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post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-08-2019, 11:23 AM
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Your problems are far bigger than you realise. I was like you. I stuck it out at university even though it was horrible. I graduated (good right?) but then life got even worse as that's what social anxiety does... it destroys lives. What I mean is life after university is 10x harder and the problems don't go away if you avoid them by dropping out.
kind of this. I dropped out a couple of times and eventially completed 2 different courses. they have no application to my life and I couldn't handle working with people to get the corresponding jobs, or at least no one will give me the chance because of social issues.

dropping out or not social anxiety is the same. difficulty in work can be much more than at uni. if you have the opportunity for a free ride to do what is expected at uni then continue if you want to. if you love what you study definitely dont drop out. you dont have to drop out because of anxiety. go talk to uni counsellor, seek mental health groups etc. you better start that stuff now if not ready doing it.

if the alternative is to stay home doing nothing that will rot your brain worse than anything. dont do that.

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post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-08-2019, 02:36 PM Thread Starter
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I feel like a loser. If i drop out or not ill have depression and social anxiety. Too less options are present. God is making fun of me. I want to be normal, have someone to talk, not have social anxiety. Hard for me
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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-08-2019, 02:43 PM
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Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
Ask yourself this - If you do quit, what do you think you are going to regret the most 30 years from now? Having no friends while in university or dropping out of university?

Another question. How is dropping out of university going to help you get what you want?

This ^

"It's a gift to exist, and with existence comes suffering. There's no escaping that."
Stephen Colbert
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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-08-2019, 09:37 PM
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I might drop out myself out of college, due to my unstable living conditions and lack of Internet connection on my computer for completing College assignments. College is from the management program, that allows the High Authority NSA Software Engineers to inspect how the citizens apply themselves for filling a task from the thoughts the Multi-Agent Quantum AI Computers work with through the citizens.

I told the remedial English teacher yesterday that I learned better on the internet than learning in the environment, where in the school big environment, it feels like someone monitors the time of each student and professor in class to interact with the management program sample concepts. The professor misinterpreted my response about my response about the internet as shy, then mentioned about shutting myself in a room with a computer. Not only I feel out of place in a school environment, my living conditions are so unstable that I can't go to KhanAcademy.com to learn my Algebra for remedial math. I came back from college yesterday to run into the case manager and social worker coming out my unit from doing an inspection yesterday at 4 PM, and my case manager at the shelter I stay at never inspect the shelter room around 4 PM before. Today I wanted to get some rest this morning, so I can wake up to study for my math test and there was a fire drill at 10:47 AM, wow. Sleep is out of question for maintaining my concentration for math and I have an essay due on Oct 15 for English on black board, plus a class presentation.

I think the Multi Agent Quantum AI Computers is toying around with me, everybody that I encounter thinks alike about me being on a computer. Every time I want to concentrate on studying or complete an assignment for college right? there's always a methodical distraction to specifically prevent me doing an important task.

I better be prepared for the streets, the Multi Agent Quantum AI Computers want me to suffer properly to leave me in the streets as how it left me behind in elementary school twice using people behavior.

Multi-Agent Quantum AI Computers managing humanity 24/7 using Quantum Cryptography Satellites to run a thought interval to generate cryptographic keys to refresh key information into thoughts to channel the communication 24/7.

NSA computionally remapping buildings, jobs, relationships, wealth, education, and income using bio intelligence system to manage citizens time & events in their own environment.

NSA Software Engineers designing citizens mind, language and awareness incorrectly.
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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-11-2019, 10:15 PM
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My problems are hard to cope. I started going to university but social anxiety and depression is ruining my life. I couldnt make any friends. Just going to lectures but i get depressed when i see other people hang out together and im alone. And its more depressing to drop out of university and stay at home all day. i dont know what to do.
You don't need to go to lectures (at least most of mine were not compulsory).

I simply made a few friends inside the "outcast" group. There was a guy with zero friends and who would always be by himself. I would mostly talk to him and a few other "outcasts".

Yes it is. Dropping out of uni won't help you improve at all. You will most likely end up being all the time at home.

University didn't help me that much. It still helped me a little to become more "functional" and at least I don't need to worry about money.

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