Responding to people when they aren't talking to you - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-03-2013, 06:48 PM Thread Starter
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Responding to people when they aren't talking to you


So embarrassing. Does anyone else have this problem? This has been happening to me a lot lately. I honestly hate it more than any other awkward situation. idk, to me it just screams out desperation/loneliness. I feel like such an idiot right now. What the hell is wrong with me? I should know better by now... I mean, who in their right mind would actually want to talk to me? Whenever this happens it ruins my whole day. I keep replaying things over and over in my head. **** I'm such an idiot.

On the flip side, I also have a habit of NOT responding when people are talking to me.

I can't decide which is worse.... looking like an asocial jackass or a pathetic loser. Oh wait I know the answer. Maybe from now on I'll just keep my mouth shut no matter what. If someone is speaking to me, they can just repeat themselves until I'm sure. I'm not risking it anymore. Unless there's a better solution???
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-03-2013, 07:32 PM
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I just follow it with an "Awkward..." and briskly walk away.

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Doncha just love how anxiety completely castrates you while leaving your libido intact?

Did a medieval torturer think this up?
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-03-2013, 07:37 PM
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It sucks but it's really unavoidable. It has nothing to do with being desperate. Every time it happens I feel so awful though. Definitely agree that it's one of the most awkward experiences.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-03-2013, 07:55 PM
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Well Brother keep risking it because there is no risk and if you do you will miss someone you can have a great conversation and who is actually interested(Yeah they are very rare but they do exist ) Anyways Brothers the thing is that "looking like an asocial jackass or a pathetic loser" both off these don't even matter. If you don't let these effect your peace and joy. Those people are in their minds and you are in your mind now and beyond... thats another topic. So if we are in peace within our mind why let others disturb that or why it should be related with their reactions. We talk about stuff if they dont listen they dont who cares just walk away its a reflection of them not something about you. Or Talking with them jump to topic when you are interested still if they dont talk walk away there are 7billion more people chances are not all of them are ignorant... We can't decide how people will react so why be bothered with their actions brother. All my Love and Blessings
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-03-2013, 08:03 PM
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Where are you that this is happening to you a lot? Are they trying to talk around you or over you (hello, rude).

This has happened to me maybe only a few times in my entire life. Usually, it's clear who the target is. (But then, not many people bother talking to me directly anyway, so maybe I just don't get as many options to see this blunder.)

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I mean, who in their right mind would actually want to talk to me?
...
I can't decide which is worse.... looking like an asocial jackass or a pathetic loser.
It's interesting the labels we use on ourselves here when, online, most of us seem relatively 'put together' and 'with it'. If people in the real world could see you as you present yourself here, they'd be VERY interested in talking to you, and you'd be far from presenting yourself as having those 'labels'.


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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-03-2013, 08:07 PM
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This hasn't happened to me a whole lot since I just try to keep quiet, but when it does yeah it's like the worst thing in the world. I just apologize and hope that I don't mess up any more.
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-03-2013, 08:11 PM
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Im sorry. This happens to me all the time and i HATE it. I just say sorry and keep quiet the rest of the time so i dont do it again haha
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-03-2013, 08:11 PM
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It's a really awkward and uncomfortable experience. I feel the same way as you, OP. Whenever it happens, I just want to disappear.
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-03-2013, 09:38 PM
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I do this sometimes. So awkward...
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-03-2013, 09:42 PM
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This happens to me too. I work with someone with a very similar name, so that hasn't helped either. Now I just always act like I didn't hear them and make them repeat themselves. Everyone probably thinks I have horrible hearing.

"You fall to your knees, you beg, you plead
Can I be somebody else
For all the times I hate myself?
Your failures devour your heart in every hour
You're drowning in your imperfection" - Skillet
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-03-2013, 09:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twelve Keyz View Post
So embarrassing. Does anyone else have this problem? This has been happening to me a lot lately. I honestly hate it more than any other awkward situation. idk, to me it just screams out desperation/loneliness. I feel like such an idiot right now. What the hell is wrong with me? I should know better by now... I mean, who in their right mind would actually want to talk to me? Whenever this happens it ruins my whole day. I keep replaying things over and over in my head. **** I'm such an idiot.
Yes, that sucks. You're not an idiot for that, especially if you were uncomfortable to begin with. Being nervous can really change the way we think. Even if you weren't nervous, it happens to people a lot. I think it's more of the other person's fault than yours. People need to learn how to address specific people.


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Originally Posted by Twelve Keyz View Post
On the flip side, I also have a habit of NOT responding when people are talking to me.

I can't decide which is worse.... looking like an asocial jackass or a pathetic loser. Oh wait I know the answer. Maybe from now on I'll just keep my mouth shut no matter what. If someone is speaking to me, they can just repeat themselves until I'm sure. I'm not risking it anymore. Unless there's a better solution???

I'm far more likely to accidentally ignore someone than to speak when not spoken to. From romantic interest, to school security guards, to (most recently) the cashiers at a checkout line...I require SPECIFICS lol. If someone just says "Sir!", it will require a lot of repetition...I think my name is actually "Sir?...Sir?...Sir?!...excuse me Sir?!" (It's Latin).
When people look in my direction and try to address someone, I always assume they are speaking to someone else. I have to take a look around first and then look back at them and ask "You talking to me?".


I much prefer seeming oblivious than speaking when not spoken to. It's hard for me to feel foolish when the person addressing me isn't being specific in the middle of a crowd.
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-03-2013, 09:55 PM
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Use to happen to me quite a bit... so know I don't say a word until I know for sure they're talking to me.
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