Really Mad at and Jealous of Older Sisters. - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-16-2019, 01:24 PM Thread Starter
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Really Mad at and Jealous of Older Sisters.


I have two sisters. One who doesn't even live here anymore and just thinking about them makes my blood boil! In 2013, they both started back stabbing me. They would make fun of me (my physical appearance), call me names under their breath, and give me really nasty looks. Sometimes they said the most outrageous things about me and they both played along with it. All of these tactics were used to lower the confidence that I used to have a long time ago. And BOY they sure did a good job! They pretty much put me down any chance they got, pointed out every one of my flaws, downplayed my successes and humiliated me.


I had to hold my head high and try not to let it get to me, but it got to me alright! They destroyed my self-esteem and made me anxious to the point were I didn't feel safe at home. I actually attempted suicide so many times to get away from them. I would stay in my room all day everyday, just to feel safe. They would use my bipolar disorder to their advantage and whenever I got upset and began crying they would make fun of me and say that the reaction they got out of me was "hilarious".



I was pretty much bullied by my own sisters. Not only that, but I was traumatized by them, yet it makes me upset that they ruin my confidence and get to live their lives to the fullest, while I'm still at home! Most of my social anxiety has to do with everything they did to me. I honestly don't know how to cope with this. I need a therapist, but can't get one til I get a job.

This jealousy and constant comparison is making me lose sight of what is really important and that Is focus on my own life and goals. What should I do?


I always thought of it like this. If I cut my sisters out of my life already, then why should I compare myself with them? Why should I compete with them when they are pretty much irrelevant now? They aren't on my level because they are nothing but bad people. Is this a good way to think? I say this because my second oldest sister who lives with us is constantly trying to outdo everything I do. I hate it because I get jealous and I don't even want to be in competition with her AT ALL. I just want to focus on my own goals and that is what is stopping me from doing anything.

H.P.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 08:56 PM
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Unfortunately a lot or most of the time, people who treat others badly don't get a dose of karma in their own life and can be successful people. And they just leave you with some sort of trauma. I'm not really sure what else to do, but I do have a very similar problem in constantly comparing myself with others. People I knew from high school, family members, other people I know in my every day life, strangers who walk passed me, people online through social media etc. And it's an issue I'm working on directly atm with my therapist, so I also agree with you in getting a therapist would be a good approach for eventually dealing with this comparison issue. It's unfortunate you aren't currently able to get one. You have the awareness to see that the jealousy and comparisons are holding you back from living the life you want, so that's great. My question is, do you only compare yourself to your two sisters? Or is it a thing you do with other people too. Cutting them out might help mentally with the stress they cause directly, but the underlying problem of comparison you developed from their torment may still be around and you may need to deal with it a different way.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 11:24 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scooby View Post
Unfortunately a lot or most of the time, people who treat others badly don't get a dose of karma in their own life and can be successful people. And they just leave you with some sort of trauma. I'm not really sure what else to do, but I do have a very similar problem in constantly comparing myself with others. People I knew from high school, family members, other people I know in my every day life, strangers who walk passed me, people online through social media etc. And it's an issue I'm working on directly atm with my therapist, so I also agree with you in getting a therapist would be a good approach for eventually dealing with this comparison issue. It's unfortunate you aren't currently able to get one. You have the awareness to see that the jealousy and comparisons are holding you back from living the life you want, so that's great. My question is, do you only compare yourself to your two sisters? Or is it a thing you do with other people too. Cutting them out might help mentally with the stress they cause directly, but the underlying problem of comparison you developed from their torment may still be around and you may need to deal with it a different way.
I do with other people too, but I feel that with my sisters it's this really obsessive type comparison. It's really unhealthy!
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-21-2019, 11:54 PM
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I hated my sister my whole life for ignoring me and pitting my parents against me. I cut her off finally about 5 years ago.

If you think you can't salvage your relationship with them, then get back at them. Not in some diabolical way, but if they caused you this much torment, you could at least write an E-mail to them
spelling everything out. If you lay a great guilt trip on them, that can do more damage to them than you may ever realize. I don't know the details of your situation, but my point is, there is always
something you can do to get back at them, win or at least feel like you got some justice. The key is, they need to deserve the retaliation. There are a million things you can do to get revenge on anyone who has wronged you in your life, it just varies depending on the person and situation. Playing mind games I find is the best way to mess with people, and I have perfected the art. You also can do some things so you feel like less of a victim, but you don't want it to take over your life so you are consumed with revenge. You want to be able to live your life without weight on your shoulders, but you can still play mind games and win little wars with people all the time, IF they deserve it. It is only fair, and the best revenge can be done in the simplest most subtle ways ever you just have to know the ropes of how to do it. It doesn't have to be a long drawn out thing either. I would do something like send emails guilt tripping them, and all you basically have to do is politely tell the truth, so it isn't like you are Bruce Lee exacting revenge on an opponent you know
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