Pushy, intrusive & judgemental girlfriend of my brother - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-29-2019, 01:10 PM Thread Starter
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Pushy, intrusive & judgemental girlfriend of my brother


My brother brought his girlfriend home today on my brithday so she could meet my parents and me for the first time. I was already very anxious and had taken my SOS tablet so I could make small talks. She was quite nice to my parents but for some reason was acting very pushy and judgemental towards me. She kept pushing me and asking me on why am not applying for Canadian permanent residency even though I told her repeatedly I don't plan to leave home for now. There is a craze for Canadian pr in India and for some reason she made me look like an idiot in front of everyone for not wanting to do this as she thinks I am overly qualified and could easily get thru. I have had my fair share of travel as I have lived in US, UK and Dubai but my anxiety worsened in these countries and now plan to be at home where I feel more comfortable. She then went on to make me feel miserable when she asked my plans for birthday repeatedly after I had said I just wanted to stay home with family. She said I look like the kind of guy who doesn't really have any friends and asked me if I knew any places in this city just to prove I don't go out and am kind of a loser. Even though I didn't want to, I went for a dinner with them later where both of them had planned a intervention. They started telling me that I need some mental healing and I have become isolated and what not. This was really uncalled for and now I feel like am the joke of this family. My parents didn't even bother to intervene and probably enjoyed her way of 'pulling my leg'. They are completely oblivious to how I feel. I only wonder how I would tolerate her when my bro gets married!
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-30-2019, 10:33 AM
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Sounds messed up. Sorry you went through it. You’d think family would be a little more understanding
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-30-2019, 04:10 PM
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Yeah. I hate it when people do that kind of crap. It sounds like your brother probably put her up to it, TBH. People usually don't just decide to get aggressive like that spontaneously.

I think you should confront him about it in private and tell him not to do it again. People do these sorts of things because they think you won't stand up for yourself. It's a kind of soft bullying. They rationalize it by saying they're only trying to help. But if you don't want that kind of help, it isn't helpful and they're doing it for their own reasons. You have to consider yourself first. You should ask your brother what he was trying to accomplish and why.

/WYSD
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-30-2019, 09:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
Yeah. I hate it when people do that kind of crap. It sounds like your brother probably put her up to it, TBH. People usually don't just decide to get aggressive like that spontaneously.

I think you should confront him about it in private and tell him not to do it again. People do these sorts of things because they think you won't stand up for yourself. It's a kind of soft bullying. They rationalize it by saying they're only trying to help. But if you don't want that kind of help, it isn't helpful and they're doing it for their own reasons. You have to consider yourself first. You should ask your brother what he was trying to accomplish and why.
I agree with this.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-10-2019, 12:37 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks for your replies. She's coming home again today. Let's see how it goes. I am not gonna put up with her if she continues to behave that way.
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