so adverse to these words?

YOU/YOUR
I
ME/MY
THE
IT
WE/OUR

plenty reason not include these in any sentence

too boring

wish to distill tightly to any irregular words unknown,
of great fresh interest

humans are of no interest

as ants

stop emblazoning, highlighting, heralding, praising each
of so little value.

population mass so scary

a growing cancer to planet

Well I do take it serious but you have to understand, i was threatened so many times and almost killed and died so many times, it is like whatever, like commonplace. I am just trying to diffuse the situation by not reporting anyone or dealing with law enforcement. Like I said, law enforcement is dealing with so much BS especially in big cities like NYC, i wouldn't even want to bother them anyway with possible threats. I also don't want to be on anyone's radar including law enforcement, I basically want to just be invisible in everyone's eyes you know

Ok but you have to understand, i lived most of my life not being accepted so I live in 1 extreme, so it would be nice to live a small fraction of my life being Mr. Popular. In many ways i don't care about being accepted and live by the motto of being the anti-social creature or whatever. I generally despise popular people but I just like the idea of having a small taste of what that would feel like once in a while.

Well i am at the point where if someone comes up to me and strikes up a conversation, I can't pick up cues and panic and just say generic things. I can't really bring myself to start my own conversations with people. With popularity, i know there are price tags or a cost to being that way, always needing to hold up the party or carry conversations, but like i said, while that is not my ultimate goal, because i was so deprived of that, it makes you wonder, "wow, i would love to feel like the center of attention once in a while"

I know what you mean, to just "be" and not worry or overthink things. Like don't get too high or too low, my moods are wildly and drastically different from one day to the next or one minute to the next. People respond better to someone who is more even keel and I have such drastic mood swings that who knows what trigger them.

I don't know that I suffer more than the average person but i am probably way more negative than the average person in my outlook. I just think when something goes wrong it is enough to send me off the deep end, where the average person would just deal with it and move on. Even small things set me back and weigh me down and block me from moving forward

Thanks for trying to help but first of all, I WAS Mr. Popular in different moments in time, and did date perfect 10's and have friends who were the life of the party, so you can't tell me, "I can't miss what i never had" because i did in fact have it. Those people for a multitude of reasons are no longer in my life, circumstances, they ditched me, wives or money or jobs or whatever being a factor. I didn't say my goal in life was to be Mr. Popular but like i said I have been in isolation for a long time so it is hard not to fantasize about wanting to be on top again, even if that means even being a blip on the map of a social scene, or whatever.

Well my business is better now than it ever was, and i have nothing to show for it, no women or friends in a long time. So I made a conscious decision to improve myself and it has made zero difference in my life other than financial. When I had no money and prospects at all, i actually did better socially, which is ridiculous to say but true.

I am doing everything i want to do in life except have no social life, i go to pro sports games and movies or concerts or events alone almost every single day, so it isn't like I am wallowing in self-pity, I am never home and if i am home i am working up to 70 hour weeks on my business. It is not like I am trying to feel like a victim or stagnated. It is a double-edged sword, I go to every event or whatever i want but I have no social life, some people would kill for my life because even people who have social lives can't go to endless pro sports games and movies and concerts and sit in the best seats.

Please don't tell me none of my thoughts are valid, it is condescending. My thoughts are 100% valid, without me having all the answers. The worst criminals and lunatics and low-lives all want to be liked or loved, so I am not going to sit here alone every day and tell myself, I create all my problems. And like I said, i had a taste of dating the best looking women and having friends who were the most popular people in their circle, so please don't tell me i don't have a basis for feeling the way i do

I am not trying to mold myself to be what the general population want, i never really did, but the bottom line is that I am "weird" or out of the norm in many ways. People have said it to my face and about me multiple times. If anything i am the antithesis of someone who tries to conform to anything, which actually may be my downfall. i don't dress appropriately, I don't talk to people with respect, or address people correctly so they would feel important. At the same time, I still rub people the wrong way and uniquely make people uncomfortable which is a real problem i am dealing with

I feel like you are making a lot of generalizations and telling me my thoughts are imagined. I am not suffering more than the average person. I am constantly out at events or working so I don't have a ton of time to think and worry. My problems or suffering are due to a lack of social life, and I know from experience what it was like to have a social life, so I am speaking from experience

Yeah, local polic wouldn't do much if you reported it. You would have to call the fbi or go to the fbi website. I hear you, I suppose it's easier to do nothing.