Nice? How do you know? This is the "grass is greener on the other side" thinking. You have no idea what being popular or liked is (even though these things are always in the mind of the person, they are perceptional, so they are not something that anyone can point to as a fact or real or true thing.
You can't miss what you've never had.
It seems to me that you are engaging in all kinds of ways to find "reasons" why you can't change, instead of finding reasons that you can. You are the sole cause of why you suffer and until you understand that, your suffering and all that goes with it, will continue.
You use your imagination to prove to yourself that "if I do this, then this will happen", or you spend your time over analyzing and imagining all kinds of things/circumstances/outcomes which do not exist. Instead, you could examine your thoughts and see that none of them are actually true or valid. < This I can guarantee.
If you want to stop living how you are, you have to choose to stop. And like I said before, its best to make changes one step at a time.
Thanks for trying to help but first of all, I WAS Mr. Popular in different moments in time, and did date perfect 10's and have friends who were the life of the party, so you can't tell me, "I can't miss what i never had" because i did in fact have it. Those people for a multitude of reasons are no longer in my life, circumstances, they ditched me, wives or money or jobs or whatever being a factor. I didn't say my goal in life was to be Mr. Popular but like i said I have been in isolation for a long time so it is hard not to fantasize about wanting to be on top again, even if that means even being a blip on the map of a social scene, or whatever.
Well my business is better now than it ever was, and i have nothing to show for it, no women or friends in a long time. So I made a conscious decision to improve myself and it has made zero difference in my life other than financial. When I had no money and prospects at all, i actually did better socially, which is ridiculous to say but true.
I am doing everything i want to do in life except have no social life, i go to pro sports games and movies or concerts or events alone almost every single day, so it isn't like I am wallowing in self-pity, I am never home and if i am home i am working up to 70 hour weeks on my business. It is not like I am trying to feel like a victim or stagnated. It is a double-edged sword, I go to every event or whatever i want but I have no social life, some people would kill for my life because even people who have social lives can't go to endless pro sports games and movies and concerts and sit in the best seats.
Please don't tell me none of my thoughts are valid, it is condescending. My thoughts are 100% valid, without me having all the answers. The worst criminals and lunatics and low-lives all want to be liked or loved, so I am not going to sit here alone every day and tell myself, I create all my problems. And like I said, i had a taste of dating the best looking women and having friends who were the most popular people in their circle, so please don't tell me i don't have a basis for feeling the way i do
I am not trying to mold myself to be what the general population want, i never really did, but the bottom line is that I am "weird" or out of the norm in many ways. People have said it to my face and about me multiple times. If anything i am the antithesis of someone who tries to conform to anything, which actually may be my downfall. i don't dress appropriately, I don't talk to people with respect, or address people correctly so they would feel important. At the same time, I still rub people the wrong way and uniquely make people uncomfortable which is a real problem i am dealing with
I feel like you are making a lot of generalizations and telling me my thoughts are imagined. I am not suffering more than the average person. I am constantly out at events or working so I don't have a ton of time to think and worry. My problems or suffering are due to a lack of social life, and I know from experience what it was like to have a social life, so I am speaking from experience