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-   -   People seem to not Like me at all (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/people-seem-to-not-like-me-at-all-2226575/)

Disheveled and Lost 08-26-2019 02:32 PM

People seem to not Like me at all
 
Hey, I rarely post on this site, just been having a lot of problems with people lately. My neighbors give me dirty looks, and no one in my neighborhood likes me or isn't repulsed somehow. Even on this site, a couple of days ago, a member (who i won't mention) instant messaged me or whatever on this site and threatened to kill me. It is just too bad that i have to deal with this on a support forum. According to that member, everyone on the site hates me and thinks i am a joke.

For those that judge me even on this site, I just want to say for the record that yes, I was bullied and an outcast growing up. I also have been with drop dead gorgeous women that caused a scene in public, and even a woman who was in Playboy. I am not lying about that either. And I actually owned the issue she was in when i was younger. To those who hate and judge me, I have been with black women, multiple Puerto Rican Women, Dominican, Greek, Italian, etc. So for those that threaten to "chop me up" as that member did a couple of days ago, and those who in groups of 3 or 4 have ganged up on me in message boards including hoping I was "a sex slave for men" YOU HAVE THE WRONG GUY. I WIN, because I came from the absolute bottom of the barrel and was the biggest nerd ever and loser ever growing up, and I overcame it all and hung out with cool kids and dated the best looking women. I don't claim to have the best life or an easier life than anyone else, i just wish people wouldn't be so quick to verbally attack me and even threaten my life.

I would love to help people out with advice but it is a sad state of affairs when i go on a site to get or give support and I am not even received well online. Oh well back to my sad life hehe

ShotInTheDark 08-26-2019 03:45 PM

You should report that user tho, kill threats shouldn't be allowed anywhere...

Luzali 08-26-2019 06:00 PM

I hope you reported the user the threatened you and sent you nasty messages.

I dont know what they type of women youve been with has to do with anything or why you mentioned that.

Can you see a therapist? It might help with your self esteem.

Disheveled and Lost 09-15-2019 03:11 PM

Well the user who threatened me apparently was friends with a moderator who said i was a joke and no one on the site likes me. I can never prove this, but if that is in fact the case, why would a moderator pass judgment on someone on the site which is supposed to be a support site above all else. First of all, it is not my style to report users, that member lives in Australia but basically said he has friends in my area near New York who would "chop me up." The user who threatened me was African American by the language and slang he was using most likely. He threatened me using the instant messager thing so i can't report the message he sent, it was all text sent through the instant messager option on the site.

The bottom line is I go to pro sports games and movies almost every night and work full time I am self-employed so i don't have time to argue with people online. I don't have time to even date or get involved with anyone because I don't have the time or energy to deal with BS. It is odd that the member who threatened me seemed to be part of some type of gang or have gang affiliation, rare that you see that on a support site, kinda like Tony Soprano going to a therapist on the Sopranos show.

I only mention women that i dated to illustrate that i am not the loser that the moderator supposedly said i was, according to the guy who threatened me. I did not lie in what i said, but I have not dated in a while anyway, I have been focusing on my business and like i said, don't have the time or energy to deal with people and drama anyway

Anyway I am not reporting anyone but those who judged me and threatened me know who they are

Disheveled and Lost 09-15-2019 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luzali (Post 1093791763)
I hope you reported the user the threatened you and sent you nasty messages.

I dont know what they type of women youve been with has to do with anything or why you mentioned that.

Can you see a therapist? It might help with your self esteem.

Well the user who threatened me i think posted like 5,000 messages so he probably is more reliant on the site than i am. As much as I want to make his life difficult, why should i take away that outlet from him? I was seeing a therapist in the past but it kind of ran it's course. I only brought up women to prove to the moderator who supposedly called me a joke and said that no one likes me on the site, and to the guy who threatened me that I am not the loser they made me out to be. Anyway it is not my style to report someone, especially who lives a 20 hour plane ride away from me. He said he had contacts who lived near me, that was his threat.

Disheveled and Lost 09-15-2019 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShotInTheDark (Post 1093791637)
You should report that user tho, kill threats shouldn't be allowed anywhere...

I agree but it is making a bigger thing out of it than needs to be almost. He would deny it and it would be a lot of steps. I basically would never involve law enforcement in terms of protecting me unless there was an army outside my place trying to take me down. They have bigger things on their plate than some idiot threatening me through an instant messager through a support site.

My point is, he deserves to be reported but that is not my style

harrison 09-15-2019 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disheveled and Lost (Post 1093803405)
I agree but it is making a bigger thing out of it than needs to be almost. He would deny it and it would be a lot of steps. I basically would never involve law enforcement in terms of protecting me unless there was an army outside my place trying to take me down. They have bigger things on their plate than some idiot threatening me through an instant messager through a support site.

My point is, he deserves to be reported but that is not my style

People don't think you're a joke here - and I find it hard to believe a moderator would say that. It was probably just the person you were having trouble with.

Use the ignore feature on here. Even though it's quiet here now I still find it very useful. Just ignore people like that.

You don't seem any stranger than the rest of us - for what it's worth. Don't take this crap too seriously.

Disheveled and Lost 11-22-2019 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by harrison (Post 1093803425)
People don't think you're a joke here - and I find it hard to believe a moderator would say that. It was probably just the person you were having trouble with.

Use the ignore feature on here. Even though it's quiet here now I still find it very useful. Just ignore people like that.

You don't seem any stranger than the rest of us - for what it's worth. Don't take this crap too seriously.

OK Thanks, I have not signed in in a few months, I have very little free time, plus I wasn't really getting much support from anyone on the site anyway. It could be because i post so rarely or that I am not fake enough somehow. Seems like a lot of people post about surface issues and that isn't really my style, i would rather get into a long discussion about some heavy issue and people don't like doing that. It is like the truth freaks people out. If someone posts about something i would tell them instructions to do this and cut off this person or take drastic measures. People really i think want to hear things like "I like you and keep your head up and keep fighting, I am sorry you are going through that" and I can't bring myself to say generic stuff like that, which is why i think the site is not helpful for me, and I am not helpful to other people on the site

Rakawakafo 11-22-2019 07:00 PM

Why do people not like you?

Disheveled and Lost 11-22-2019 10:55 PM

.

Disheveled and Lost 11-22-2019 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rakawakafo (Post 1093841483)
Why do people not like you?

That is a good question. I have generalized anxiety so I give off bad vibes which is all kind of intertwined. It is like the chicken or the egg. Do people not like me because I am angry and unapproachable, or do I not deep down like people to begin with, which they can sense, which makes me off-putting to them?

I also think i am just out of place wherever i go, I don't fit into a social scene neatly, I kind of always stick out like a sore thumb. I have been to around 1000 pro sports games and I don't look or act like a typical fan. If I go to Comic Con a nerd event, i don't seem to fit in even there. I worked out with weights like 20 years ago and I looked completely out of place. I really think i was born like in the wrong place or wrong time, a complete enigma. I also don't fit in in a major city, and stick out just as much in a small town. The only advantage of a big city is that no one knows me and i can blend in, but I don't really blend in, you know? I am kind of an oddity, i say odd things, do strange things, without trying really.

Paul 11-23-2019 02:30 AM

I don't recall you, but this thread shows some evidence of why people would dislike you. You brag in absurd exaggerated ways which people will perceive as an insult or challenge to them at worst, or a joke at best. This actively disassociates you from anyone who'd try to relate, and speaking in extremes makes you appear ungeniune. Sometimes projections of extreme overconfidence are the flip side of deep insecurity, but only someone who really knows you could say. Have you talked about this with your therapist to try to find out why you do it?

harrison 11-23-2019 03:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disheveled and Lost (Post 1093841477)
OK Thanks, I have not signed in in a few months, I have very little free time, plus I wasn't really getting much support from anyone on the site anyway. It could be because i post so rarely or that I am not fake enough somehow. Seems like a lot of people post about surface issues and that isn't really my style, i would rather get into a long discussion about some heavy issue and people don't like doing that. It is like the truth freaks people out. If someone posts about something i would tell them instructions to do this and cut off this person or take drastic measures. People really i think want to hear things like "I like you and keep your head up and keep fighting, I am sorry you are going through that" and I can't bring myself to say generic stuff like that, which is why i think the site is not helpful for me, and I am not helpful to other people on the site

You might be surprised. Sometimes something we read can strike a cord with someone - you never know.

I remember you mentioning that you'd built a successful business for yourself on ebay. I find that encouraging - I used to sell a lot on ebay too, years ago. I just listed a couple of books again the other day - and a guy in the Uk immediately sent me a cheeky offer for one of them. He's a dealer too. But I don't really need the money at the moment so I'll make him sweat and see how much he really wants it. :)

I hope things are going well in your business mate, all the best.

Rebootplease 11-23-2019 05:34 AM

So you say that someone threatened to chop you up and kill you and yet you don't want to report it. First off, there are multiple moderators so you can report it to another moderator. Second, you should take it seriously and report it to the F.B.I. and police. People get chopped up in real life so if someone threatened me I would take it seriously. Get yourself a gun for self defense. Third, maybe you want to send a screenshot of the message and blur out the user. I have a hard time believing your story since you don't even say why that person threatened you or provide any proof like the actually message.

Disheveled and Lost 11-23-2019 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rebootplease (Post 1093841627)
So you say that someone threatened to chop you up and kill you and yet you don't want to report it. First off, there are multiple moderators so you can report it to another moderator. Second, you should take it seriously and report it to the F.B.I. and police. People get chopped up in real life so if someone threatened me I would take it seriously. Get yourself a gun for self defense. Third, maybe you want to send a screenshot of the message and blur out the user. I have a hard time believing your story since you don't even say why that person threatened you or provide any proof like the actually message.

First of all, i was not lying, someone about 3 months ago on this site messaged me on the instant messenger thing on this site and threatened me, not sure why you would think I would make up something like that. I was not trying to escalate things so i did not report them or mention their user name. To be honest, I did post things on the site responding to that user because they were saying completely idiotic things and arguing with me. I don't claim to be an angel but i don't deserve to be threatened. At the same time, I don't want to bother the cops and law enforcement and make the issue bigger than it needs to be. There is a ton of crime and horrible things going on every day, I don't need to take up people's time by filing reports or even reporting the person to a moderator.

I can't provide proof because the messages were sent to me in instant message form, whatever it is called on this site and not through an actual post or private message.
I live in New York City and as far as owning a gun, I prefer not to because even if i did have a permit to me it is a recipe for disaster. If i lived in the middle of nowhere in a small town, I would definitely consider owning a gun if i could get a permit. I have been threatened before online and in real life in the past and it is not a big thing, it happens to people all the time. I am not a special snowflake where i need to involve law enforcement or even moderators because it would take my energy and stress and other's energy and stress to have to deal with me.

Disheveled and Lost 11-23-2019 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul (Post 1093841597)
I don't recall you, but this thread shows some evidence of why people would dislike you. You brag in absurd exaggerated ways which people will perceive as an insult or challenge to them at worst, or a joke at best. This actively disassociates you from anyone who'd try to relate, and speaking in extremes makes you appear ungeniune. Sometimes projections of extreme overconfidence are the flip side of deep insecurity, but only someone who really knows you could say. Have you talked about this with your therapist to try to find out why you do it?

OK well you are right i do have insecurities, i was trying to brag to prove to the few people on the site who either threatened me or were rude to me that i am not a joke and don't need to be toyed with. I have not had a great social life for most of my life, but i was also trying to show people that yes, i was a loser and outcast growing up and still dated gorgeous women so if i can do it, anyone can. My life now consists of working and going to games and movies almost every night and every person i get involved with in recent years has backstabbed me or drama ensued from some issues. I don't have the time or energy to deal with people now because problems crop up with everyone. I have stopped seeing my therapist a while ago, I got what I could from them and there is only so much ground you can cover with a person before you are just repeating the same stuff

Disheveled and Lost 11-23-2019 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by harrison (Post 1093841609)
You might be surprised. Sometimes something we read can strike a cord with someone - you never know.

I remember you mentioning that you'd built a successful business for yourself on ebay. I find that encouraging - I used to sell a lot on ebay too, years ago. I just listed a couple of books again the other day - and a guy in the Uk immediately sent me a cheeky offer for one of them. He's a dealer too. But I don't really need the money at the moment so I'll make him sweat and see how much he really wants it. :)

I hope things are going well in your business mate, all the best.

Thanks, well I have 900 listings now, but sales are down maybe 30% from last year when I had maybe 30% to 40% more listings. The problem with ebay is that the high up corporate people have added promoted listings and whatever you list is way further down in search results compared to top-rated sellers. The biggest sellers on ebay are not hurting, it is the small sellers and smaller operations that are hurting and a TON of smaller sellers are closing their stores. If you are willing to pay money for promoted listings and upgrades your listings will go to the top, if you can't afford to promote your listings, they will now have little to no exposure. I am so far into it that i can't close my store but I should have at least double the amount of sales than i did last year, but because of the changes ebay made I am struggling relatively speaking. Anyway thanks

Disheveled and Lost 11-23-2019 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pemek (Post 1093841611)
If you want to stop worrying or feeling something you don't like about this, ask yourself;

Why do I care what other people think about me?

Then, write down every answer or thought you come up with.

Then for every answer/thought, ask yourself if that is a fact/truth or not.
A fact or truth must be something in reality, not something that exists in your mind/imagination or your belief or opinion or suspicion, etc.

If it is not true, you can choose to let go of that answer/thought.

Move on to the next one and so on.

If you choose to hold onto invalid thoughts, you are causing your own suffering, not other people.

That is good advice, I am kind of my own worst enemy. I am definitely at odds with people in general, but my mind is convinced that I can't blend in with people or be accepted. When the opportunity to socialize presents itself, i am fighting my own demons in a way and insecurities as much as anything else. But part of it is realistic, I have not interacted with people much in so many years, I am like a fish out of water, very hard to change one day to the next and be Mr. Popular. I am alone in my head so it is very difficult to think positively and see myself in a positive light. It really is true that your worst foe lies within, i think that is true in all walks of life. There was one poster on this site many years ago who said he had 2 lamborghinis or 2 ferrari's or something and was convinced he was a loser, most people would think he had the life you know

Rebootplease 11-23-2019 04:14 PM

Okay, I believe you but would you threaten to chop somebody up to intimidate them? Most sane people wouldn't which is why you should take it serious.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disheveled and Lost (Post 1093841665)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Rebootplease (Post 1093841627)
So you say that someone threatened to chop you up and kill you and yet you don't want to report it. First off, there are multiple moderators so you can report it to another moderator. Second, you should take it seriously and report it to the F.B.I. and police. People get chopped up in real life so if someone threatened me I would take it seriously. Get yourself a gun for self defense. Third, maybe you want to send a screenshot of the message and blur out the user. I have a hard time believing your story since you don't even say why that person threatened you or provide any proof like the actually message.

First of all, i was not lying, someone about 3 months ago on this site messaged me on the instant messenger thing on this site and threatened me, not sure why you would think I would make up something like that. I was not trying to escalate things so i did not report them or mention their user name. To be honest, I did post things on the site responding to that user because they were saying completely idiotic things and arguing with me. I don't claim to be an angel but i don't deserve to be threatened. At the same time, I don't want to bother the cops and law enforcement and make the issue bigger than it needs to be. There is a ton of crime and horrible things going on every day, I don't need to take up people's time by filing reports or even reporting the person to a moderator.

I can't provide proof because the messages were sent to me in instant message form, whatever it is called on this site and not through an actual post or private message.
I live in New York City and as far as owning a gun, I prefer not to because even if i did have a permit to me it is a recipe for disaster. If i lived in the middle of nowhere in a small town, I would definitely consider owning a gun if i could get a permit. I have been threatened before online and in real life in the past and it is not a big thing, it happens to people all the time. I am not a special snowflake where i need to involve law enforcement or even moderators because it would take my energy and stress and other's energy and stress to have to deal with me.


twitchy666 11-24-2019 09:00 AM

so adverse to these words?
 
YOU/YOUR
I
ME/MY
THE
IT
WE/OUR

plenty reason not include these in any sentence

too boring

wish to distill tightly to any irregular words unknown,
of great fresh interest

humans are of no interest

as ants

stop emblazoning, highlighting, heralding, praising each
of so little value.

population mass so scary

a growing cancer to planet


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