One step forward, two steps back
Been a while since I've been here. Always struggled to connect with people and have a social life, didn't have friends or date.
Now I'm 30, but I did make some progress. Over the last year, I befriended a couple, and I really love having them in my life. But, it's been making me start wishing for more for myself again, and it's causing me some grief.
I always used to hope I could find my own "special someone", but I don't really see it happening. Yet, it's hard to not want it when I see my friends together.
I've also been trying to be careful about being too "clingy" or intrusive to my friends, and even though they've both said I can ask to hang out any time, I usually wait for them to invite me. Usually, I see them once every 3-4 weeks and text with them once a week or so.
But I really want "more". Whether with them, or whatever. I'm starting to feel very bored and restless all the time (aside from when I'm with my friends). I wish I was doing more with my time.
And I can't come up with things I'd like to do or places to go, or just ways to simulate myself more often. I love the limited time I do get to spend with my friends, but I just... want more.
And I don't really know what to do with myself. I'm happy on one hand because of my friends, but on the other hand, I'm extremely bored, restless, and lonely with the rest of the time I have in my life.