Nothing Is Ever Enough. - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 01:51 PM Thread Starter
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Nothing Is Ever Enough.


The past year I've done everything to fight my mental demons. Seeing a shrink once a week, meditation, vitamin supplaments, journaling, gratitude journaling, self-care, spirituality, law of attraction, trying not to do things that give me stress, attempting to meet new people, eating healthy, spending time with friends & family, treating oneself, going outside, engaging in activities i like. All the things they tell you to do I've done. It's frustrating to know I've sort of tried all these things but nothing is ever enough.

But nothing works, and I feel lost and hopeless still Part of the problem is there's nothing I want ergo there's nothing to fight towards. I don't want a fancy career, money, a house, travelling, a relationship, friends. So i just don't really know what to do and I just feel like I'm existing in an unhappy way.

I tried taking some happy pills but I had a bad reaction. And now I'm too scared to try any new ones.

So can anyone tell me how one pulls oneself out of a depressive funk when they've tried everything?


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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 03:17 PM
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Well depression is a state of mind. And your mind is part of your brain. And your brain is neurons.


Our brains wire themselves up in all sorts of ways; the more we do something, like play an instrument, the more the neurons used for are reinforced or are restructured. What I really want to say is the more we do something that more our brain trains that behavior. This is why it's so difficult to escape things like depression, because your brain is wired to be in that state. This is also why CBT is so effective: it attacks the problem at its source, causing the brain to make new neural pathways to replace bad old ones.


If you want to stop being so depressed you have to stop your brain from using the neural pathways that make you feel that way. And that's hard because it's not really a process you have control over. It's possible to begin to control things like this gradually over time. Some of the things you mentioned are good, especially in the short term. A good diet, exercise, and enough sleep is basically essential to freeing yourself from depression (but not too much sleep which can have the opposite effect), because a lack in these areas just make it that much harder. Your physiological needs need to be met.


You need to identify what triggers you to feel the most depressed. It's likely just reinforcing your state. For example, seeing my ex would drudge up some negative feelings for me. You have to start questioning why you feel bad. "I feel bad because I still miss what we had and I want that right now," would be an honest admission for me.


Once you identify what makes you be negative you have to stop entertaining them. Once you start thinking something negative just stop, take a breath if you have to, and try to put it out of your mind. /Do not/ let yourself dwell on these thoughts or get into a negative feedback loop. Meditation can help here because it's the very practice of putting your mind into a state of emptiness. This is not easy but it's the ticket. Eventually over time you'll get better and better at shutting it out and as a result, you'll begin to feel better.


Eventually you'll begin to do this naturally because the neural pathway for it will be more and more established. Then presto, you won't think bad things and if you do, you're not entertaining them. You may even stop noticing they're even there. Then you'll feel better.
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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 03:58 PM
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Lexapro. Vacation. Change environment.
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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 06:28 PM
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Having a reason to live/goal is a big part of it, I think. I struggle a lot with depression these days; not because there's nothing I want, but because I don't think I can actually achieve any of my goals. You have to both have a reason to live (goal), and feel that you have the ability to achieve that goal. If you're missing one or the other, the other stuff (exercise, diet, sleep, etc.) probably isn't going to help. I don't have any idea how you would find a worthwhile goal if you don't already have one.

The only thing better than money is more money.
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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 03:15 AM
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I have been on medications and seeing a shrink for over 3 years. Started feeling better in between but since the doses have gone down, it's all coming back again. I have also tried meditation, yoga and exercised but there's only been temporary relief. With age I have pretty much just accepted myself and have no goals or the will to chase stuff anymore.
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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 10:18 AM Thread Starter
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Lexapro. Vacation. Change environment.
I can't take anti-depressants.


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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 10:57 AM
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I'd guess that it's half due to your effort and half to finding the right therapist/medication combo (medication not always necessary and not always helpful, but sometimes it's just the thing). The latter depends a lot on how much money you can throw at it, although if you've got none, it doesn't mean that you're screwed (but then you really have to find that needle in the hay stack). That's talking about therapists.



Talking about medication, I'd be really scared to go on any psychoactive drugs through the NHS right now. It's stretched to the limits and I've had some scary experiences. At least I wouldn't just ask my GP for some. If you find a good therapist that really helps and that you can really trust, they could advise you on any drugs, if any are needed at all.

Leonard Cohen (Bird on a Wire): I have tried in my own way to be free
Mrs Hudson (BBC Sherlock): Sherlock! The mess you've made!
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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 11:23 AM
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idk maybe time, self esteem, change in external circumstances, social capital, getting loved by someone, loving someone

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 11:34 AM
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nothing is never enu


nothing is never enu
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 01:13 PM
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Good company, change of environment, detaching from your worries, adventure/crossing things off your bucket list, hobbies that get you in a state of flow:

I know, pretty hard to attain. I mean even with a hobby I can't afford clothes right now :/

Having SA feels like being a scratched up LP that keeps getting stuck at exactly 10 seconds into Track 02.
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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 02:38 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by abhinav21 View Post
I have been on medications and seeing a shrink for over 3 years. Started feeling better in between but since the doses have gone down, it's all coming back again. I have also tried meditation, yoga and exercised but there's only been temporary relief. With age I have pretty much just accepted myself and have no goals or the will to chase stuff anymore.
Are you happy tho now that you've accepted it?

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No offence of course but I seem to remember you wanting a relationship (of sorts) with the coffee guy?

On the topic of medication - I can relate to being afraid of them in general and starting a new one. I just started Lithium about 2 hours ago and I was scared ****less.

Sometimes we have to give things a go - and if it doesn't work, try something else. In my experience you have to weigh it up against what you're going through. My mania is sometimes much more frightening than trying a new medication.
No offence taken. I found out he had a girlfriend soooo...that ended that. I kind of feel that I don't want a relationship anyway and that it wouldn't enhance my life.


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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 03:21 PM
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I can't take anti-depressants.
Why? You sound like a defeatist.
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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 04:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Ventsalot View Post
Why? You sound like a defeatist.

well, defeated by anti-depressants.

lots of people don't believe anti-depressants are really good for you. its a valid viewpoint as far as i know, and i've mostly avoided taking medication for my problems.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-13-2020, 09:37 PM
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Are you happy tho now that you've accepted it?
Yes
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 12:00 AM
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At that point some peeps just get put down to sleep. I don't think you're in a country where it's approved. You can try running away and changing your identity
I'm bored, up late and curious what this means. Would you clarify what you are talking about so I can join in the conversation?
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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 12:08 AM
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Chevy. I'm talking about being euthenized as a last resort
A last resort to what?
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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 12:23 AM
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If you're not reading, then what do u wanna talk about? I'm not a teacher
Sorry, I was trying to join in the thread conversation.

Could you tell me, what do you think the punishment should be for a psychologist using hypnosis on someone without their consent, then getting them to kill themselves?

I only asked because you mentioned euthanasa and that is an all too common scenario when someone abuses their power over a patient.
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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 12:53 AM
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Idk what the punishment should be. Only God can judge, lol

And the euthanasia I'm talking about is assisted. The person dying opts for it, when they feel there is no cure left for their mental woes
I'm still confused. How can someone opt for euthanasia if they aren't able to do it to themselves? Wouldn't that mean they were not capable of making their own choices?
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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 12:56 AM
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Try doing exercise and eliminating white sugar.
If you were a male like me I'd advise you to stop masturbating.
I don't know what are the effects on women but I assume it's the same deal and the same benefits.
Men don't masturbate. Only women do.
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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 01:12 AM
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Idk what the punishment should be. Only God can judge, lol

And the euthanasia I'm talking about is assisted. The person dying opts for it, when they feel there is no cure left for their mental woes
I think the punishment for euthanasia should be public hanging by the neck until dead, then have their brains blown out by a sharpshooter so that nobody can ever scan their brain and let that evil back out into the world.

They used to do it too. To Nazi psychologists. The US Army even. All they need is an act of war to start it back up again.
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