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-   -   Not knowing what to do with my life? (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f35/not-knowing-what-to-do-with-my-life-2224123/)

andrew141 06-04-2019 05:23 PM

Not knowing what to do with my life?
 
I'm 20 now, I've been feeling like this for a long time and I know it won't go away, but, how can I at least get my life on track. For the last 4-5 months I've just been doing nothing, I was very depressed(7-9, thinking of suicide everyday) earlier in the year and slowly have tried to work past it with therapy, trying supplements/vitamins, writing, etc.

I've been feeling okay for a while(5) now and I dont really know how to get back on track. I became really isolated and haven't talked to any of my real life friends in the months I was depressed, they haven't contacted me either, which makes me feel like they aren't as close as I thought. I spend most of my days when I dont work(part time, 30hr/week) doing nothing or distracting myself with video games, YouTube, being alone for the most part.

I've tried to write some goals out or fix my problems but I've been stuck in a loop of not knowing what to do, not having a purpose or goal to work towards. Also I dropped out of school and stopped training mma earlier in the year when I started feeling really depressed since I was stuck in bed all day, and haven't really thought about either since.

I dont really know what to do or where to start. I really want to move out but it's going to really hard(live in LA) without getting another job and basically working 80hours a week. I have a lot of money saved up, and I want to travel somewhere, just to get out of where I've been for so long, I'm very tired of where I live. I just dont know what to do, or how to get my life on track.

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andrew141 06-05-2019 02:25 PM

Bump

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andy1984 06-05-2019 03:25 PM

the usual I guess. meetups, support groups, some ppl join clubs etc. maybe try therapy. move to a cheaper area. idk.

andrew141 06-06-2019 01:09 PM

Bump

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SofaKing 06-06-2019 02:45 PM

Forget "knowing" and just start trying. Get in the game and then assess what feels right.

Also...focus on generating life experiences and less on income generation.

I assure you, money becomes relevant for personal comfort and security, but not for happiness or fulfillment.

Disheveled and Lost 06-06-2019 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andrew141 (Post 1093734237)
I'm 20 now, I've been feeling like this for a long time and I know it won't go away, but, how can I at least get my life on track. For the last 4-5 months I've just been doing nothing, I was very depressed(7-9, thinking of suicide everyday) earlier in the year and slowly have tried to work past it with therapy, trying supplements/vitamins, writing, etc.

I've been feeling okay for a while(5) now and I dont really know how to get back on track. I became really isolated and haven't talked to any of my real life friends in the months I was depressed, they haven't contacted me either, which makes me feel like they aren't as close as I thought. I spend most of my days when I dont work(part time, 30hr/week) doing nothing or distracting myself with video games, YouTube, being alone for the most part.

I've tried to write some goals out or fix my problems but I've been stuck in a loop of not knowing what to do, not having a purpose or goal to work towards. Also I dropped out of school and stopped training mma earlier in the year when I started feeling really depressed since I was stuck in bed all day, and haven't really thought about either since.

I dont really know what to do or where to start. I really want to move out but it's going to really hard(live in LA) without getting another job and basically working 80hours a week. I have a lot of money saved up, and I want to travel somewhere, just to get out of where I've been for so long, I'm very tired of where I live. I just dont know what to do, or how to get my life on track.

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It's funny that you say you are sick of L.A. I mean so many people would kill to live in L.A. I am in New York City and am completely sick of it, and there is this mystique about "NEW YORK CITY" like it is some magical place. It is just a lot of rude petty people and yea there are events in NY and LA but at some point you get bored with all of it. I am guessing your friends sensed or knew you were depressed and ran for the hills. It is a sad fact of life, people will gravitate towards "fun, happy" people regardless if it is a psychiatric hospital or a bar or club. I would not take it personally. Just proves that if you want to be popular, you need to create a facade to seem happy and well-adjusted or something.

I would not bother with vitamins or supplements, they all have downsides. Vitamins leave a horrible taste in my mouth and i am convinced even vitamins have downsides, I don't want to swallow pills that have like 100 ingredients i can't pronounce. Supplements are known for having side effects. I don't know if you are on any medication but you want to be on as little extra stuff as humanly possible.

On some level you are lucky to have some time on your hands to kill watching Youtube or whatever, as bad as that is, it can't be worse than working crazy hours with an annoying boss breathing down your neck

andrew141 06-06-2019 06:20 PM

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andrew141 06-06-2019 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disheveled and Lost (Post 1093736031)
It's funny that you say you are sick of L.A. I mean so many people would kill to live in L.A. I am in New York City and am completely sick of it, and there is this mystique about "NEW YORK CITY" like it is some magical place. It is just a lot of rude petty people and yea there are events in NY and LA but at some point you get bored with all of it. I am guessing your friends sensed or knew you were depressed and ran for the hills. It is a sad fact of life, people will gravitate towards "fun, happy" people regardless if it is a psychiatric hospital or a bar or club. I would not take it personally. Just proves that if you want to be popular, you need to create a facade to seem happy and well-adjusted or something.



I would not bother with vitamins or supplements, they all have downsides. Vitamins leave a horrible taste in my mouth and i am convinced even vitamins have downsides, I don't want to swallow pills that have like 100 ingredients i can't pronounce. Supplements are known for having side effects. I don't know if you are on any medication but you want to be on as little extra stuff as humanly possible.



On some level you are lucky to have some time on your hands to kill watching Youtube or whatever, as bad as that is, it can't be worse than working crazy hours with an annoying boss breathing down your neck

Yeah I guess people don't want to be around someone who's always negative, even though I can't do much about it. So I did some research and two things I'm taking are lithium orotate and st John's wort, both natural and help regulate mood.

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Disheveled and Lost 06-08-2019 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andrew141 (Post 1093736101)
Yeah I guess people don't want to be around someone who's always negative, even though I can't do much about it. So I did some research and two things I'm taking are lithium orotate and st John's wort, both natural and help regulate mood.

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I would not even bother changing who you are and being positive all the time, not even worth it. I am kind of in the middle between negative and positive in my outlook but everyone I meet things I am super negative. The problem is that people are so far on the spectrum of positive all the time that they don't even know who they are or what they are saying half the time. I am convinced people just agree with and accept anything, as long as they can stay on their stupid positive kick. God forbid anyone actually stands up for what they believe in or at the very least have honest opinions that don't deviate from the phony nonsense.

I know you are saying those are natural but anything with a million ingredients can't be truly natural. St John's wort might be natural on some level, but weed smokers also claim that it is "natural" or people who take shrooms. Weed messed me up badly when I smoked over 20 years ago, I was a nervous wreck and paranoid. Just because something is supposedly "natural" doesnt mean it can't have negative effects. I personally would quit all that crap and just either run or eat fruits and vegetables and drink a ton of water. Everything in LIFE has downsides, so anything "natural" will still have negative effects on some level

andrew141 06-08-2019 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disheveled and Lost (Post 1093737495)
I would not even bother changing who you are and being positive all the time, not even worth it. I am kind of in the middle between negative and positive in my outlook but everyone I meet things I am super negative. The problem is that people are so far on the spectrum of positive all the time that they don't even know who they are or what they are saying half the time. I am convinced people just agree with and accept anything, as long as they can stay on their stupid positive kick. God forbid anyone actually stands up for what they believe in or at the very least have honest opinions that don't deviate from the phony nonsense.

I know you are saying those are natural but anything with a million ingredients can't be truly natural. St John's wort might be natural on some level, but weed smokers also claim that it is "natural" or people who take shrooms. Weed messed me up badly when I smoked over 20 years ago, I was a nervous wreck and paranoid. Just because something is supposedly "natural" doesnt mean it can't have negative effects. I personally would quit all that crap and just either run or eat fruits and vegetables and drink a ton of water. Everything in LIFE has downsides, so anything "natural" will still have negative effects on some level

I understand what you're saying and would love not to have to take anything, butbefore the lithium I was having suicidal thoughts almost everyday.

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blue2 06-08-2019 06:58 PM

I used to talk to chickens, I thought it might be my true calling, but then they died 😞

Disheveled and Lost 06-10-2019 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andrew141 (Post 1093737547)
I understand what you're saying and would love not to have to take anything, butbefore the lithium I was having suicidal thoughts almost everyday.

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I am not sure if you are taking Lithium as a medication or as a supplement. Anyway I am taking 2.5MG of Zyprexa a day which is an antipsychotic, I get suicidal thoughts as a side effect, but without that I can't eat, sleep and have major anxiety without it. I guess you have to weigh what works for you. The suicidal thoughts I get FROM taking the pills to me is worth being able to eat, sleep and not have constant anxiety and panic attacks. If you have to take lithium, i would be on the least amount that you need, your body is the only thing that knows, a psychiatrist has no clue how many MG you need. I would either cut down as much as you can, or possibly get off St. John's wort. I don't know a ton about it but my real point is, anything past fruit and vegetables and water has side effects. Who knows what they are but I would not take supplements or at least not huge amounts. If you have to take any of that stuff, take as little as you can get by on


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