Not happy: After staying sober for one month, I binged 3 days in the past week.
I literally feel like I'm in prison. I tell myself: Life isn't that bad that I need to drink. I have a good family, my health is good, and i got a new job. And I never go to parties so there's no reason to get blasted if I'm just gonna sit at home. That helped me stay away from booze for a month, but then the darkness came back. I have no life, i lost all my interests and hobbies pretty much at the same time and I don't feel comfortable or confident enough in myself to develop meaningful relationships.
I feel like I'm in a dangerous period is my life. I've had social anxiety since my Freshman year of high school, but even when i was alone and depressed I always found something fun in life. Now I literally wake up, go to work, and come home looking forward to going back to bed.
The weird thing is my parents pretty much have the same life. Other than a cruise vacation once a year they sit around all day reading a book, watching tv, or browsing the net. I don't understand how they seem to be perfectly content and I'm so miserable.
Is anyone going though a similar situation? I don't understand how I've become so apathetic with life. I guess it's a sign I need to make changes, but I really don't know what to do with my crappy genetics. I suck at life!