"Normal" people don't understand social phobia - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-06-2008, 01:07 PM Thread Starter
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"Normal" people don't understand social phobia


It frustrates me just a tiny bit that normally social people have a hard time understanding social phobia. When I told my best friend, she said she could definitely relate because she used to be really shy too. She told me she got over it by just getting out there and talking to people; it worked, as now she's somewhat of a socialite. It irked me a little that she didn't seem to understand that social phobia is not shyness, and that we probably had very different experiences. I tried to explain to her, but though she sympathized, she didn't empathize with me. The same goes for other people I've told; they seem baffled by the idea of social phobia. I think a lot of people also don't think it's a serious disorder. There are worse disorders, but the extreme anxiety and panic felt by sufferers of social phobia should not be taken lightly.

It's not a big deal, I guess. Just a little frustrating.
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post #2 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-06-2008, 01:18 PM
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I think people with panic disorder or any serious phobia can understand social phobia better than your typical shy person.
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post #3 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-06-2008, 03:23 PM
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yeah i know. stupid ignorant ppl it pisses me off. "i was shy too" WELL YEAH BUT I'M MORE THAN SHY DARNET
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post #4 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-06-2008, 06:20 PM
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yeah i know. stupid ignorant ppl it pisses me off. "i was shy too" WELL YEAH BUT I'M MORE THAN SHY DARNET
sigh yup..... the best is I was shy and got over it that one crushes me like a fat man in a grape squishing contest.

"I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds." - Henry Rollins
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post #5 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-06-2008, 06:26 PM
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Well people haven't experienced what we go through, so calling them ignorant is a bit blunt. I wouldn't have understood what social anxiety feels like if I was normal either.
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post #6 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-06-2008, 06:45 PM
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If I didn't have it, I don't think I would understand it.

It's easy for people to understand phobia's of things that they can understand as fearful. Like a phobia of heights, snakes, or germs is more easily understood because we all recognize that those things do have some potential for danger. But a phobia of talking to people is not easy to comprehend.

Could you really understand someone having these phobias?

Anablephobia- Fear of looking up
Anemophobia- Fear of air drafts or wind
Asymmetriphobia- Fear of asymmetrical things
Aulophobia- Fear of flutes

See http://phobialist.com/ for more examples.
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post #7 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-06-2008, 07:09 PM
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Even I don't understand my own fears. ~___~

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also, a unicorn.

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post #8 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-08-2008, 06:17 PM
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I know I get that too people just assume that I'm shy and that I should "get over it." Wtf it's easier said than done and what I have goes far beyond being simply shy.
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post #9 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-08-2008, 06:24 PM
 
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I hate it when people say things like "Dont worry about it so much" or "Just talk, its not hard!"

I actually had a therapist say both of those things to me too
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post #10 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-08-2008, 06:30 PM
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The people who say "get over it" don't understand what we go through and are to ignorant to care. But sinse someone posted about phobias, I'm going to say I'm entomophobic (fear of insects), I freak out if a grasshopper jumps in front of me (why do they always do that ) or if a butterfly flies near me. And this one time I opened my mail box and found a huge centipede on my mail I jumped back and it crawled out and went in to a stack of phone books on the floor.
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post #11 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-08-2008, 11:16 PM
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i told my brother that i had SAD and he was like "Man... I never would of known, but you know, just don't be shy!"
i did a facepalm

i told a girl I was dating ounce that i had SAD
her reactions: "You are being stupid." "You are just saying this because you don't want to try."
and my all time favorite "You are using this as an excuse not to talk with my friends!"

another facepalm
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post #12 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-08-2008, 11:22 PM
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Even I don't understand my own fears. ~___~
I was just thinking that. I find it amazing people(the 2-3 ive told) were understanding and supportive. If I didn't have it Id never believe it really existed.

It might not be such a bad idea if I never... never went home again.
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post #13 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-09-2008, 06:59 AM
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Hell I didn't even know what Social anxiety was or that I had it until I ran across it on the net. I just thought I was different and kind of thought it was normal to worry about what people think about you. I just thought I had low self esteem. I am finding out that I do have self esteem it was just the anxiety was hiding it!

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post #14 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-12-2008, 08:07 PM
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Shy people are capable of socializing they just supress it while people with SA lack the confidence AND social skills.
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post #15 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-12-2008, 08:54 PM
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Yeah I have always tried to be really understanding of something a person might be going through, I always make extra effort to cut someone some slack etc if they might be going through a hard time. But I haven't found the same courtesy in alot of other people and that can be frustrating

I know for sure that most of my circle of friends defo wouldn't understand SA and my husband defo doesn't understand it cos he's so outgoing and sociable. It's not his fault though, I guess it's just the way people are. You kinda have to have real experience with something to totally get what the person is feeling.
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post #16 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-12-2008, 08:59 PM
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Really outgoing people aren't able to understand social phobia or introversion, I guess because they're so used to being social. It's a mystery to them.



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post #17 of 59 (permalink) Old 12-12-2008, 11:37 PM
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I agree with BrokenDreams. It's understandable that normal people wouldn't understand us because it's not something they experienced. Just like I wouldn't understand how people are so afraid of germs or snakes or flutes like in Broken's examples.
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post #18 of 59 (permalink) Old 04-08-2012, 09:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kee View Post
Even I don't understand my own fears. ~___~
I know this is an old thread but I wanted to pit my input I can't seem to understand my own fears and maybe I don't have to I just wish I had some confidence :

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence and than success is sure," Mark Twain

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post #19 of 59 (permalink) Old 04-08-2012, 09:34 PM
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It's difficult to truly understand a disorder you don't have.
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post #20 of 59 (permalink) Old 04-08-2012, 09:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissMay1977:777701
Hell I didn't even know what Social anxiety was or that I had it until I ran across it on the net. I just thought I was different and kind of thought it was normal to worry about what people think about you. I just thought I had low self esteem. I am finding out that I do have self esteem it was just the anxiety was hiding it!
Oh my gosh, exactly! I didn't know that "normal" people didn't think this way. Since finding this website, I've realized a lot of what I thought was just something I'd have to deal with was something that a lot of people go through, was something that maybe can change.

You're right though - a lot of people who don't go through it really don't understand. I've tried to explain some of my attacks to a few friends before, and I usually get something like "well just don't be so dramatic," as if I were performing or something.
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