Nobody cares about your pain as much as you do....... - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-20-2020, 12:08 PM Thread Starter
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Nobody cares about your pain as much as you do.......


.......understand this first. They care, but not at your level. Work from here. Come on!
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-25-2020, 09:07 PM
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Super true. I'm working on not having high expectations of ppl feeling as badly as I do about my own personal misfortunes. I used to think ppl were disappointments, but if you hold rediculously high expectations then you're just torturing yourself

There are very few things in life worth worrying about.
Those few that are worth worrying about, actually aren't worth worrying about either.

- - -
HOORAY for INTJ/FP
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-30-2020, 03:04 AM
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Of course. I don't expect others caring about my pain.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-30-2020, 04:32 AM
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I don't care about my pain, but it doesn't care that I don't care.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-30-2020, 04:45 AM
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They care about the pain of having to deal with someone (say a family member) who is in pain.

A silent broken person with little needs and a lot of pain is better than one that actually expresses their pain accurately, whether they ask for help or not.

People don't want to see people around them in pain. See being the important word.

Unless the person in pain can emotionally manipulate them into caring in a more useful way.

Mucus is a living thing you know
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-30-2020, 08:44 AM
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As a parent, I think its possible that I would care about any pain my kids were going thru more than them, and more than any pain I had to deal with.


But outside of that, I would say the statement is absolutely true, and perfectly natural.

Tell 'em who the **** I am

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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-30-2020, 01:46 PM
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It's true--and as a matter of emotional maturity we shouldn't expect everyone who comes along to care as much as we do about our individual pain. That being said, as a certain author I'm fond of says, "spirit knows no division."

I don't think anyone's pain is irrelevant. Usually I find learning more about someone else's pain can be like holding up a mirror.

There aren't many spaces in the world in which people are afforded the opportunity to come as they are. It's a hard world.
And, there are not many voices in the out there that make it easier for people to exist as they are.

There are many voices telling people how they should/shouldn't be and what they should/shouldn't do, adding on more shouldisms to persons who have already in some way condemned themselves/feel contempt for themselves because someone else told them they should be ashamed.

I feel on some level, that if I leave someone alone with their pain, then I've left myself alone with my pain too. One person is a whole world of pain, hope, joy, and grief. And, if a person pays me the kindness of having one moment to cherish them, even their pain, even the worst of them, then I should--although, in reality, I know I'm terribly selfish and rarely take these opportunities, but I'd like to think doing so is a rebellion against my own nature of social anxiety and avoidance.

I have something like a fear of being found out, namely that if I let even the people closest to me know me well, they'll find out I'm not a good person. Who (if we transcribed all of a persons daily thoughts and made them public) is a good person though? Stone throwers condemn themselves... Or something.

Life's Wack
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