I strongly suspect more than one user I've never had any conflicts with (that I can recall) has/have me on their ignore list. More than once I've quoted or replied to them, and they simply never respond to me, while replying to others. :/ It's confusing and kind of hurtful because with at least some of them, they're users I like and we tend to agree on things, but I guess the feeling goes only one way. Same as most of the times I respect/admire somebody then belatedly learn they've secretly despised me the entire time.
A few times, I've proactively protected myself from "problem users" who either tend to get into lots of conflicts (just a note to show I'm aware, I suppose to some I could fall in that category myself), or else hold strong views that directly conflict with mine, or else just give me an "off" vibe (my intuition on "off" vibes is usually right, I often get outside confirmation, and I regret when I ignore it), by putting them on my ignore list or deciding to never respond to their posts. This has never caused much issue because those users tend to avoid or ignore me, too. But with the ones I'd actually agree and get along with, it confuses me. It's like I'm invisible. It can't be anxiety, because like I said they communicate with others just fine. It can't be avoidance of potential conflict, because they argue with other users, and usually I'm agreeing with them. All I can think of is...it's me. Me as a person. "Oh there's Tehuti again, annoying, whiny, dramatic Tehuti...don't want to get sucked into or even associate with that black hole of misery and self-pity [even if my post has zero to do with either]...ignore."
It makes me think of the times I used to get mild crushes on male users here and I'd try talking to them a little bit, not flirting or anything, no, since I know no guy will ever see me as a romantic prospect, but mostly to be nice and show interest when they were insisting no women could ever be interested in them...they would never respond to me. It was like I wasn't even there. Yet I know it wasn't their anxiety keeping them silent because they would willingly chat back and forth with younger, more attractive female users...a few times they'd even leave the site for a while, then return, and in the meantime they'd been involved in a relationship. These guys who were positive no woman would give them the time of day. I honestly started to feel like, all I have to do is get a crush on a lonely guy and his life is set, he'll get a GF now. I'm a good-luck charm for lonely guys to hook up...just not with me.
It was even worse the few times I dated to comment on an insecure guy's appearance...those guys always ended up leaving the site entirely shortly after.
Even a gay guy I defended against another male user criticizing his looks. I'm mortified realizing how humiliating it must be for a guy to be complimented by a fat old cow like me. I never meant to make them uncomfortable. And it really must have been me, because when others complimented them, they stuck around. So that's why I don't comment on guys' looks anymore, they don't like that when it's coming from me. But anyway, this reminds me of that, that my mere existence, something about me, rubs people the wrong way and for their own peace of mind they find it more tolerable to ignore me outright.
It also makes me think of interactions I had on Reddit during my absence. A few times, users under throwaway or alt accounts contacted me. Whether I responded or not, a short while later, they would delete their comments to me--including supportive ones--and would often delete their entire account, as well. This made me feel that people in general are too uncomfortable to communicate with me under their real names/usernames, even if they're the ones establishing contact and/or they're being positive, and want a quick "out" in case I turn out to be even more unpleasant than they suspect. (This fear is not entirely unfounded. I deliberately warn people now that I'm unpleasant and they shouldn't waste their time on me, so why any of them bother, especially when it's obvious they themselves think it could be a bad idea, I don't understand.) I also suspect these people don't want their regular/main username associated with me in any way--see the above, re: "There's Tehuti again..."--so, best to use a throwaway when reaching out to me, and simply erase the trail afterwards.
I'm apparently so unpleasant a person that people I barely even interact with have to take these measures to protect themselves. Like I'm a contaminant that has to be washed off.
I understand why people react like this when reaching out in friendship (even though I don't understand WHY they try reaching out despite the warnings) or when I've made a comment that could be misconstrued as me showing romantic interest ("Ew, oh God, oh no, is SHE the best I could do??")...but when it's somebody I merely agree with, or even admire somewhat (in a completely platonic way)...I don't really understand. I knew I was awful and offensive and best avoided but I didn't think I was THAT awful that even people I agree with and have never had any conflict with (that I can recall) are so skeeved out by me that they're forced to pretend I'm not there.
...I know somebody could brush all this aside with a mere "You're overthinking it" but the silence from the other parties is right there. Time after time. If it was just once or twice, I could shrug it off, but this has been over and over, for years, on more than one site. I'm the only common denominator. So obviously, I'm the problem, even if I can't figure out why.
And I don't expect that anyone will bother reading through all this, but if you do and your reaction is to roll your eyes and type, "You're overthinking it," please refrain, otherwise I'll take that as a sign my posts are as annoying and unwanted as ever and I'll shut up again. If I had somewhere else to pour this out, I would. But people can't stand me anywhere and it really hurts.