(No Quoting, Only Venting) Whatís Bothering You Right Now? - Page 53 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1041 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-18-2019, 07:13 PM
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It's been a long time since I've actually done something I'm passionate for. Most if not my whole life it was basically surrounded by things or people I felt obligated to serve, some of them which I am not really proud of. But that's all there really is to my existence. When the most important people are gone, I probably wouldn't fear too much about being gone, either. Yet another obligation.

"Courage is not the absence of Fear. Courage is Fear walking." - Dr. Susan David

"If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgement. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it cannot survive." - Dr. Brenť Brown
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post #1042 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-18-2019, 08:33 PM
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I don't think it's only just the fact of 'obligating' to people I care about - but just to people and how life is within them, generally. I've accepted just about everything that was labeled and thrown at me. I know what my limits are. Some were hard pills to swallow while others it may not phase me so much. But whenever I can be proven otherwise, it can only last for so long. I guess in some sense it really did nip me in the bud and that looking for some good outcome out of it would give the likelihood of some rapture happening beforehand.

I've watched a documentary/talk not long ago and kept replaying about how one guy referenced the Greek mythology story of Pandora's Box, and that once it was opened it caused the evils and sickness to unleash to mankind . The last thing that came out of it was hope. The last thing the guy asked, "what happens when you find out that hope isn't in there?" It got pretty deep. Hope underlies all else that happens, which also can be counterproductive since it deceives long enough where mankind can only handle so much and may never find that underlying answer that they want or need. The outcome you may only want in reference to hope just might not happen for everyone...

"Courage is not the absence of Fear. Courage is Fear walking." - Dr. Susan David

"If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgement. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it cannot survive." - Dr. Brenť Brown
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post #1043 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-21-2019, 12:24 AM
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I'm a jaded pessimist and I hold a lot of unpopular opinions. I know that much of the time, when I share those opinions, they make people uncomfortable. All the time I write out long, intricate posts -- only to delete them because I just know that SOMEONE is going to be offended.

And this bothers me. Why should I be silent, just because what I have to say is uncomfortable for people? For that matter, why are so many people so damned insistent on upholding their comfortable, convenient lies -- and refuse to hear an occasional unpleasant truth? Why don't more people just take responsibility for all of their thoughts, actions and lives? Why is it so hard for most people to be deeply and truthfully honest?

"Asking 'If there is no God, what is the purpose of life?' is like asking 'If there is no master, whose slave will I be?'" - Dan Barker
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post #1044 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-21-2019, 07:54 AM
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I think I’m on a path to a mental breakdown.

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post #1045 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-22-2019, 05:00 AM
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Feeling really crappy today...mentally and physically. I canít ever seem to put more than a few good days together. Getting more lonely and isolated by the day and fearing I will get progressively worse as the holiday season and winter approaches. I canít stand either of those things and struggle immensely during them.


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post #1046 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-22-2019, 07:23 AM
Ad astra per aspera.
 
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Struggling to spend $300 on myself.

Miles to go before I sleep. Vale.

Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #1047 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-22-2019, 07:25 AM
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Threat of vampire attacks as it's near hallowe'en.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #1048 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-22-2019, 07:50 AM
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How tf is someone telling you their own experience and your answer is no, you're wrong. I know what it really is. ****ing invalidating pple man. **** them.

Miles to go before I sleep. Vale.

Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #1049 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-22-2019, 08:39 AM
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It's the 'little to no sleep at all night' of the week, that leads to the 'almost dies day' of the week. But that event won't be lonely anymore. A 2nd one for the week gets to join it from now on.
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post #1050 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-23-2019, 06:33 PM
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Lifeís moving 2 fast I donít know if Iíll be be able to catch up

Live life no matter what.. never quit you deserve better.
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post #1051 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-24-2019, 02:45 AM
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Originally Posted by PurplePeopleEater View Post
No one could possibly want to go out with me. Why would they? I have zilch to offer except my money which is the only thing anyone would want from me. I'm just a weirdo. And lonely.
This is absolute nonsense!

I would go out with you literally right now if you were local, based on what you look like and you're interested in. We could go to the cinema as I read that you were going to see zombie land 2. Then for coffee, a meal, and a walk. That would be cool.

You wouldn't want to go out with me though because I'm unemployed. lol

I meet lots of women and spend time with them, either in groups or one to one as friends, but can't do anything further with it because I'm unemployed and absolutely can't see a way of being employed without the job driving me up the wall in one way or another lol

It sucks being sociable and having things to offer, but not being able to work.

I doubt I'd be single if I could sort out my work life tbh.

You are attractive and have a job and could find someone!
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post #1052 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-24-2019, 07:09 AM
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Big effort needed for sleep tonight now. I'm already hearing my mind psyching myself out hard, and making me feel the physical aspects of why its so difficult. And I'm doing my typical avoidance habits, like posting here. ffs
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post #1053 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-24-2019, 11:20 AM
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Originally Posted by The Notorious D.B.L View Post
This is absolute nonsense!

I would go out with you literally right now if you were local, based on what you look like and you're interested in. We could go to the cinema as I read that you were going to see zombie land 2. Then for coffee, a meal, and a walk. That would be cool.

You wouldn't want to go out with me though because I'm unemployed. lol

I meet lots of women and spend time with them, either in groups or one to one as friends, but can't do anything further with it because I'm unemployed and absolutely can't see a way of being employed without the job driving me up the wall in one way or another lol

It sucks being sociable and having things to offer, but not being able to work.

I doubt I'd be single if I could sort out my work life tbh.

You are attractive and have a job and could find someone!
This is the no quoting thread but thank you. I kind of needed to hear that.

I saw Zombieland 2 and it was good. Haha. Coffee is nice, too.

It wouldn't be a problem for me if I was making really good money. But I'm not making quite enough. I'm getting there, though.

Sorry to hear. I was in the same boat as you. I never used to want a job. Not just because of the people but cause I wanted constant free time honestly. I think part of it was my depression.

You could find someone but yea. Seems like it takes work to get there unfortunately. :/ But imo, I dont think anyone's worth comes from their job. There's always a way to get disability or a side job. But it's hard to get on disability I think. :/ Easier said than done. There needs to be better services for the unemployed.
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post #1054 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-24-2019, 12:08 PM
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i'm too old to be feeling this way.


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post #1055 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-24-2019, 12:16 PM
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Originally Posted by scooby View Post
Big effort needed for sleep tonight now. I'm already hearing my mind psyching myself out hard, and making me feel the physical aspects of why its so difficult. And I'm doing my typical avoidance habits, like posting here. ffs
Who was I kidding? I'm such a comedian, thinking I'd actually have a chance of sleeping.
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post #1056 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-24-2019, 12:27 PM
pls don't eat bats, thnx
 
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its not annoying me, but bugging me a bit. too many hot women in town. sometimes I dunno where to look lol.

I like donuts
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post #1057 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-24-2019, 12:32 PM
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Happiness is a butterfly
Try to catch it like every night
It escapes from my hands into moonlight

always
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post #1058 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-25-2019, 02:54 AM
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post #1059 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-25-2019, 08:29 PM
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I can't stop feeling like a loser and comparing myself to everyone. I can barely write correctly either..like my grammar and punctuation suck, I feel retarded and incapable..or impatient to keep working on something that will take seemingly forever to correct, achieve, or fix..but theres no other way..the only way out is through! Damn it..damn it!!
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post #1060 of 1628 (permalink) Old 10-26-2019, 12:35 PM
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I'm spiraling into a major depressive episode again.

Now I'm Nothing
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