(No Quoting, Only Venting) What’s Bothering You Right Now? - Page 51 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1001 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-22-2019, 07:00 PM
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If I'm stuck in this 'type of state' any longer than anticipated, I'll be willing to jump ship...

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. - Theodore Roosevelt
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post #1002 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-23-2019, 02:06 PM
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I can't find a godd*mn job. ^&%*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
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post #1003 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-23-2019, 02:19 PM
green and blue
 
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Who has 2 thumbs, and ruined their sleep schedule? Probably millions of people. But also this guy.
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post #1004 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-23-2019, 06:33 PM
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Seriously does my cat always have to put his wet cat mouthy on my chin and drool all over me when he cuddles himself on top of me!!!
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post #1005 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 12:52 AM
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Maybe it's exactly what we deserve -- this loneliness and heartache and constant ****ing frustration. Maybe everything is as it should be.

"Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it." -Ayn Rand
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post #1006 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 03:38 AM
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The constant pattern of "completely ignoring" to "extremely socially proactive" back to "completely ignoring" and so forth.. this happening in a snap of a finger back and forth.

Classic obvious sign that you are just being used, and you mean absolutely nothing to the other person aside from that. And very likely they have nothing but disdain for you and only choose to put up with you and force themselves to be friendly with you when they need something from you. Meanwhile all of their other positive energy and efforts, they reserved for the others that are the people they actually care about.

It's sad that I am such a slow learner.


Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #1007 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-24-2019, 06:50 AM
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I'm so pissed. My sister wont give me her SSN for some reason cause she doesnt want to send it to me through text so she said she would call and couldn't take a minute out of her time to give it to me for my life insurance application. That seems odd to me. Who cant take a minute out of their time to send a phone call? I want to take advantage of these benefits on my job and her SSN is required but if she wont give it to me I can't get life insurance. I already put her as my beneficiary. Now I regret doing that.

No one wants to help me with anything. It's a simple thing to give me. No excuses. I told her I needed it by today.
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post #1008 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-25-2019, 09:39 AM
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Feeling crappy for a number of reasons. One of them is because my last therapy wasn’t that good. I’m also feeling like the most weird alien among humans. I can’t even perceive therapy or a therapist in a realistic way and she still seems not to know a lot about me and some of the problems I face. And she doesn’t know what to do with other things like social anxiety. I mean she knows a lot of things from her field, but seems like 90% is yet to be researched about human psyche and pathologies like the ocean. Also I don’t think anyone would know that when it comes to me. That’s why I feel like an alien. I felt some connection with her and that she understands a lot about me, but that was illusionary.

I feel deeply ashamed for myself and my existence. Honestly, this whole feeling could be influenced by my childhood and apparently it actually was, but the present and actual reaction of people is so underestimated as an influence.

Most of the time even in therapy I minimise those things that affect me and devalue my own self, my own emotions in front of her and suffer in silence because of so called “common sense” and “morals” that she either actually has or I think she has in other cases and that people in general have and have a consensus about. It’s not that I’m consciously doing that or aware that it’s happening at the moment when it’s happening. Only in moments like now...

Sorry for not currently replying to your posts addressed to me. I will do that later (hopefully in a few days) because now I can't Please, don't take it personally because you have nothing to do with it.
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post #1009 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-25-2019, 09:51 AM
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I tripped over my laptop cord, and now my laptop won't charge properly because apparently I damaged the charging port. The cord still plugs in, but it's very loose, and doesn't stay plugged in unless it's at just the right angle.

Now I'm Nothing
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post #1010 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-25-2019, 12:21 PM
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post #1011 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-25-2019, 02:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SamanthaStrange View Post
I tripped over my laptop cord, and now my laptop won't charge properly because apparently I damaged the charging port. The cord still plugs in, but it's very loose, and doesn't stay plugged in unless it's at just the right angle.
So I watched a bunch of YT videos and might attempt to fix this myself, but I'm not really handy, and somewhat tech challenged, so this is probably a terrible idea.

Now I'm Nothing
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post #1012 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-25-2019, 09:00 PM
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For most if not my whole life I have been **** on some way or another. It makes me wonder at times if it’s worth to live with this type of existence, by choice or not, because in the end I’m nothing. The only thing I’m good for is to moan and only imagine as to how it could all be fixed in any possible way before ‘going that route.’ Then that’s when I have nights that end like this - alone, not bearing with myself even while just doing nothing but staring at the walls, accompanied by ‘the silence’ as I attempt to go to bed. Mind wondering every which way but what I need to focus on.

I mean, I know that it can be worse and I have went through worse than what I have now. But it’s just wanting to find some sort of meaning out of all of it. My options are very limited and when having that ‘want’ type of mentality while knowing the reality, it’s the worst. I promised myself not to do it since it’s one of the core values (or whatever one can call it) if I really am wanting to thrive in this world. Pretty ironic.

TL;DNR - just complaining over the fact that I complain about my pathetic existence, basically.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. - Theodore Roosevelt
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post #1013 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-25-2019, 09:30 PM
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No point coming here anymore, I guess.
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post #1014 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-26-2019, 10:46 PM
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I wanted to reach out, but I never said a thing.

always
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post #1015 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-26-2019, 11:01 PM
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People are freaking me out recently. Seems like people are getting ****tier and ****tier by the day.
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post #1016 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-29-2019, 04:35 PM
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I wish I could completely change for the better. I ***** so much and it makes it appear otherwise, and rightfully so. It used to be really bad but there has been progress here and there. But this is likely as good as it gets. I don't know if I can fully cope. Reached my peak, so to speak...

I don't need a pat on the shoulder and told that it will be okay and just do x, y and z... If anything, if I were to be convinced then take everything that is fully from my psyche, view it all for what it is, view all the trial-and-errors, THEN see if you can cure or change it. See how it affects me just about everyday and what I have to put up with. Wouldn't think so...
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post #1017 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-29-2019, 07:04 PM
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All the answers huh? Whatever you have to tell yourself. Shrug.

It upsets me cause you actively hurt pple slinging **** that reinforces dissociation in those who already struggle with it. It's not an answer for everything and everybody. And some don't have the time and resilience to find their way back. It's a matter of life and death for some. But when you insist all your answers are the answers and make others believe it in some mastubatory attempt to shore up your own ego and feel good abt your life decisions, you harm pple. In your ignorance and insistence that this is the answer for everyone, you send some down a path that they don't have the resources to come back from. But as long as you don't research **** and you don't know the harm you cause, sunshine and rainbows boys. Sunshine and rainbows.

Miles to go before I sleep. Vale.

Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #1018 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-29-2019, 10:27 PM
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Trying not to let BDD get the best of me again. Part of me wants to go on a crash diet again but then I'd have no energy to do any of my tasks for work.
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post #1019 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-30-2019, 12:07 AM
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as per usual climate change and some people being oblivious to the consequences of their actions. if I ever kill myself that will be why.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #1020 of 1118 (permalink) Old 09-30-2019, 05:13 PM
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I hate one sided conversations. So rude.
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