(No Quoting, Only Venting) Whatís Bothering You Right Now? - Page 48 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #941 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 09:50 AM
Half agony, half hope.
 
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My mom can have narcissistic tendencies. I was discussing work, like any day, an incident happened at my workplace that wasn't a massive reason of concern. I took it upon myself to take care of the situation as I didn't want anyone to get hurt. My mother felt it was above my job description (which it is, but I didn't care) and was mad that I went to someone higher up who told me it was my responsibility. Which it isn't, but I took care of it prior to asking so I didn't care. My mom took it upon herself, to my disagreement and literally begging her not to, texted my boss basically saying she was outraged and they it was unprofessional. Which made me beyond upset & worried about my current job position as it is not at all her place to speak on my behalf and it wasn't something that even bothered me but her. I then had my boss call me wanting to speak with me about this incident that wasn't even an incedent, and it was just this uncomfortable situation where I had to low-key pretend it bothered me slightly so my mom didn't look like a psycho (b/c I love her) but also tell her that I didn't mind making me look indecisive. So now my bosses most likely think that I went to her asking her to speak to them......and I'm pissed about the entire thing. You do not have a right to reach out to my boss when I'm discussing my personal life, or my day. You don't have a right to take my voice away. I haven't spoke to her in two days and it sucks. This is going to blow up in my face though. Chances are they spoke to the person who is higher up, that I work with, and she's going to give me hell. If I was my boss I'd want to fire me.

"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
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post #942 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 11:52 AM
nothing fills the void
 
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I swear if I hear one more maniac on a bike going by revving its engine i'm gonna lose my ****. literally bikes going by every 2 minutes today. idk wtf is going on out there, biker convention!? like, normally there are maniacs going by and accelerating and decelerating at insane speeds, in fact that bloke who moaned at the removal guy was talking absolute bull, the person didn't die on this street because someone parked their vehicle on the pavement, they died because of the amount of people who drive like lunatics racing around the corner and flying off at the lights, i've heard people screaching their tyres! slamming on the breaks. seems like no one in the neighbourhood gives a flying fig and tries to blame in something else, which is complete bollocks.

i'm just sticking synths on a full blast on the headphones its stressing me out to listen to that...

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post #943 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 06:00 PM
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Sometimes, I think I'm cursed but then remember it's just my brain getting crazy thinking that. I'm not like this as often, though. So still trying to work on it but it can be bloody annoying some days.
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post #944 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 10:24 PM
Lost Generation Club
 
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Thanks for saying that pathetic insult to my face today. It gave me the fuel I needed to hurry up and move the hell out of here rather than stay in my slump of depression.

"Plan for the worst, hope for the best.
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post #945 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-09-2019, 06:58 AM Thread Starter
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post #946 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-09-2019, 05:05 PM
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I wish I was doing better than I am.
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post #947 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-10-2019, 11:59 AM
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My neighbor's kids are screaming again. I called in a complaint to the leasing office earlier this year and it actually worked. The screaming stopped for a few months, but it's back again. I really don't want to make another complaint because I hate being that guy. I was really uncomfortable doing that last time and felt guilty about it afterwards.

In a couple of months my lease will be up and I'll be moving into a house of my own away from other people. I think I'll just put on my headphones and hold out until then.
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post #948 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-10-2019, 01:28 PM
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How in the actual **** am I supposed to have experience with X and Y when I can't get hired at a place where they do X and Y? Employers expect you to already have the exact experience and if you don't, they don't want to teach you.
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post #949 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-10-2019, 01:35 PM
nothing fills the void
 
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so i've been in this pretty dark place lately with suicidal thoughts. when I am at my worst weird things start happening, I swear I am seeing shadows pass over the light like they are drawing closer to me. I don't know if this is my head, meds, or something paranormal.
:/

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post #950 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-10-2019, 01:42 PM
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I’m in the parking lot. Going to an interview for a nice job right now. I really really really hope I get it. I can’t act like that though. Gotta be calm and be like ok I don’t cate if I get it. Got another FaceTime interview tomorrow so I gotta be relaxed and be like whatever. But this 12 minute commute, decent pay, and easy work would be soooo sweet.
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post #951 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-10-2019, 03:01 PM
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I got the job on the spot
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post #952 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 05:59 PM
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Gun ownership is a responsibility, but also convenient.
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post #953 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-12-2019, 08:33 PM
green and blue
 
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I went to get a tattoo, spur of the moment, since a place I follow were doing really cheap flashes today. Sign up sheet filled up before I got there, so I missed out. Actually so disappointed.
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post #954 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-12-2019, 09:41 PM
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My dad burnt my sister's graduation dress. He's always been like this.
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post #955 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-13-2019, 11:31 PM
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I’m stronger than all my men, except for you.

always
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post #956 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-13-2019, 11:53 PM
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I get that things don't always work in our favor, but I'd rather people be honest with me, than to lie. It's even worse when the person who lies to you thinks they are doing what's best for you. It's so hard to trust.
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post #957 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-13-2019, 11:54 PM
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Wanting to vent about personal things that I don't feel I can vent to any of my friends - either it might make them uncomfortable or they mightn't know how to respond, so alas.
also, the general apathy I seem to get from a certain close friend lately.
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post #958 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-14-2019, 06:18 PM
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I don't think the SA is getting better. I think it's getting worse. Right now I'm at a family party, I cooked dinner for it because I wanted to help. Towards the end it wasn't going smoothly and I got so frustrated and stressed out. Now the house is filled with people and I'm hiding in the basement typing this ****. I don't know how to approach people and talk to them. Don't fit in, literally I'm so frustrated and angry and despairing about this social ****. I just can't do it. Like when I have a conversation I never know what to do or say, eye contact is impossible to do right, I just ****ing can't. My great aunt and I started talking I had no idea what to say I tried to add a few things to the conversation but it didn't really work. My cousins (all younger than me, ages 10-16) are at the park now, the adults are talking upstairs. I don't fit in in either group, especially because of age (24). God this is so stupid. I feel helplessly trapped in socializing failures, loneliness, anger, etc.
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post #959 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-15-2019, 12:17 AM
green and blue
 
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**** me, I just want a flash done. But they get booked out so fast.
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post #960 of 1274 (permalink) Old 09-15-2019, 12:42 AM
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Cramping in my arm. Awful painful cramp. All day for 3 days cramp. Wake me up from the pain cramp.
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