(No Quoting, Only Venting) What’s Bothering You Right Now? - Page 30 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #581 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 07:54 AM
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I hate fake people. Especially ones who think they’re fooling me or playing me. God didn’t bless me with a lot but he did give me the ability to see through all the bs pretty easily...

Live life no matter what.. never quit you deserve better.
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post #582 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 12:00 PM
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Sometimes I do think that it's better to just quit on life. Not necessarily because of depression, but because of convenience's sake.
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post #583 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 12:47 PM
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I wish it was me making you happy. You were perfect and I don't want anyone else. It's heartbreaking

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post #584 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 12:52 PM
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post #585 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 02:46 PM
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I need to help myself out of this depression, but I am struggling
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post #586 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 11:40 PM
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I’m such a waste of space. I don’t want to be here anymore.

I know a poet. He’s as sweet as pie, writes poems about me that make me cry. Arthur Miller, 12 years senior, he’s my bugga baby sigh.
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post #587 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-14-2019, 11:40 PM
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ughh it's one of those the pain is so bad it's making me light headed and nauseous kind of days.

:: Anybody else want to run? Contorting, distorting, I am undone. One less propaganda nightmare fixture. Are you getting the picture? Separate. I've lost my only way. See the shape, Broken and thrown away. ::


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post #588 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 02:34 AM
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Just politics in all aspects of life, even with loved ones and family. And having to constantly tip toe around them, sweeping things under the rug, holding back words, even when it means it will drastically inconvenience various aspects and obstructing my own needs and aspirations in doing so.


Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #589 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 10:23 AM
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lol this service isn't available for my postcode. Of course. Guess they want me to kill myself.

I thought maybe it was just available to students and ex military but I had a google and it seems to be available to people living in various areas so lol.

It could be worse though, I could be paying income tax.

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post #590 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 02:54 PM
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I'm feeling nauseous. I hate feeling ill, it always brings me my mood down. I can't stand being sick. Also, my sleeping pattern has gone to **** which doesn't help. I'm just tired and sick of life at this point, need a break...

“You don't have to let that one thing be the thing that defines you.” ― Jojo Moyes
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post #591 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 04:05 PM
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I don't know why the bank couldn't just get me another debit card ordered. And its ridiculous they told me I can't get my debit card sent to the bank just cause its my first card. Sounds like a stupid reason. Common sense should tell them I need to get another one ordered. I should've told them no I want a new one ordered to me. Someone at work told me her daughter got hers from the same bank I have mine within a week so I call bull**** on that. It doesn't take a month to get a damn debit card. Guess I have no choice but to get it sent to the PO box. There's no way it could've gotten stolen if it was a blank envelope, either. I need my own PO box but I'm sure I'll have to pay like 100 ****ing dollars for one.

People have something against me. That's why I get ****ty customer service.
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post #592 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 06:20 PM
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post #593 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-16-2019, 06:30 AM
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I don't understand how to live in this world with a very weak ego and
extremely small tolerations for everything and to deal every day with people who are also traumatized, but have stronger egos so it feels like they all gonna stomp you for reasons you're not actually responsible for... Even other people with weak egos feel this way when they do that.

Oh and those people usually have best relationships with their parents or they have forgiven their parents without resolving their childhood traumas and they still communicate with them without cutting off contact or only supporting them financially etc. The point is they still mentally are with their parents. But they should express their anger somewhere so they blame their every emotion on people around them and become sometimes unbelievably rude to them. But even a mild rudeness feels shattering to me most of the time. And of course, if they have children they gonna project and blame everything on children. Nice one.

I'm really tired of it and can't tolerate it in normal quanities and I want to go to a perfect universe (another schizoid thing called regression into the womb due to the weakness of ego).

Sorry for my English.
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post #594 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-16-2019, 07:09 AM
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post #595 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-16-2019, 09:28 AM
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Job


I really hate how my industry's entry-level roles require interaction with people on an almost-constant basis.

It just degrades the whole experience for me. I obviously don't know what to do half of the time and yet I'm expected to help people?

One would've thought college/uni would've prepared me for this but that's just baloney.

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human
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post #596 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-16-2019, 09:44 AM
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I give up on men. I haven't been in a relationship in years and when an interest sparks, it seems to be fleeting. I don't find what I look for in someone and I'm not the type to seek another person out. I guess I'm just used to being approached and seeing if the sparks fly. Time to focus on my own life goals and purposes. I don't even miss the sex. **** it.

Also, toxic relationships and people trying to talk you out of things you know would benefit your life. What's the deal with that? I just want away from negativity.
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post #597 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-16-2019, 09:57 AM
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I'm fuming, I hate my family for being so rubbish I've been malnourished a handful of times in my life, the worst times was during the developmental phases in school both HS and primary, I lost so much and my growth was stunted... Even during pregnancy mother's health wasn't optimized.. No wonder I was so fking stupid, and barely conscious now, my teeth and bones are ****, everything's just ****, we don't even have a house

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/....2007.10873530

This makes me so mad, what am I supposed to do???? By time you're adult you're already trash how to fix? I can't reach my potential without all the cards, I'm playing with like Tier -10 equipment, everything is so ****.

Why would you have more children if you can't bloody feed them properly? I don't ****ing understand, why the **** would you have sons, you need double the amount of food for successful sons...

I don't understand why?? And then I'm expected to compete against other males with this POS crap junk thing

my eyes are rolling towards my fking brain?? what du yuu want me to fking do, i lost beofre i was even born. u expect me to win and be happy and have a godfking life, well fk do u look at waht it takes to be successful??? read their biographies guys, their lives are totally different . omg dont read their biogrpahies, go out and look at peopel and trace their lineage and you'll see why they ended up where they ended up basically..

god why is everythign so **** why does evcerfyting have to be so predetermined.

“I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy.”
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post #598 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-16-2019, 10:07 AM
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I'm slightly completely falling apart

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―Balon Greyjoy
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post #599 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-16-2019, 05:58 PM
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Today just helped me to realize just how much of a burden I really am. I really wish I were dead. There's no point for me being here, there really isn't.

:: Anybody else want to run? Contorting, distorting, I am undone. One less propaganda nightmare fixture. Are you getting the picture? Separate. I've lost my only way. See the shape, Broken and thrown away. ::


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post #600 of 739 (permalink) Old 06-16-2019, 08:10 PM
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Might as well just be a ghost since it's like I don't exist anywhere. I'm wanted by few, disliked by many. It's so ****ing unfair.
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