Born Of Blotmonað
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Over Yonder
Language: South Martian, North Terran, & Lunarian
Age: 32
Posts: 18,371
My Mood:
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I’m financially ****ed...again, suppose I’ll get drunk tonight
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Ad astra per aspera.
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,396
I'm considering dropping this study. That's how I feel atm. Won't make any rash decisions. Will talk to the team first. Too much expensive travel, too long to be reimbursed, the screening is taking sooooo ****ing long, it's uber invasive and, tbh, I'm very happy with the work I'm doing in therapy. I mean, I think the study will really boost the results I've been getting, but I'm just exhausted with this whole ****ing process. Have to make so many ****ing calls tomorrow regarding it. Then so many followups and emails, scans, even a fax. Tedious and tiring.
I need a root canal so yay. First and ****ing last. That's what avoidance costs ya folks.
I need a root canal so yay. First and ****ing last. That's what avoidance costs ya folks.
Miles to go before I sleep. Vale.
Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
your dads girlfriend
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: America
Language: English
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,001
My Mood:
I’m really struggling, going off the deep end again. I feel so lonely and just wish I was closer to family or had someone to connect with. My spouse is only home about an hour a day before he needs to sleep again and I just can’t take being literally trapped inside my house everyday. Winter is 7m long and we only have one car but even when the car is available I don’t know how to drive and I have to get my son evaluated for a possible diagnosis and I’m just feeling like such a failure. I hate myself, the ppd is really hitting hard now which is crazy because a few weeks ago I was about to write in the type what you’re thinking about thread that i was so truly happy in that moment, whether it last a day, a week, a month, or years. But it’s crazy seeing how much my emotions have changed since.
”we’ve moved on now
but if I’m honest
I am still
a little bit
in love
with all the ways
we were.”
but if I’m honest
I am still
a little bit
in love
with all the ways
we were.”
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Irreversibly Invisible
Join Date: Jun 2009
Gender: Female
Age: 32
Posts: 4,754
My Mood:
Roommate blasting the TV again, like usual.
It is the light she longs to find,
When she delights in learning more.
Her world is learning; it defines
The destiny she’s reaching for
- Marie Curie
Irreversibly Invisible
Join Date: Jun 2009
Gender: Female
Age: 32
Posts: 4,754
My Mood:
I would close my door, but my cat already spends over 10 hours a day locked up thanks to her.
It is the light she longs to find,
When she delights in learning more.
Her world is learning; it defines
The destiny she’s reaching for
- Marie Curie
Born Of Blotmonað
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Over Yonder
Language: South Martian, North Terran, & Lunarian
Age: 32
Posts: 18,371
My Mood:
SAS Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: United States
Language: English
Gender: Female
Age: 40
Posts: 2,719
Snow, cold, gloominess again today. Winter is never ending and has completely drained what little hope I had remaining.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Iran
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,519
A misunderstanding happened today. I told someone something only to vent, but they assumed I'm asking them to do X for me and they did it for me. Now the problem is I didn't want X to happen. Now I have to ask them to undo it which is embarrassing since they've been being nice doing it for me in the first place. They might also refuse to undo it.
fml
fml
“Honest to God, Bill, the way things are going, all I can think of is that I'm a character in a book by somebody who wants to write about somebody who suffers all the time.” ― Kilgore Trout
"I need to die" - Anonymous
"I'm just like...blaaaah. Effort? WTF is that? hahahaha" - Anonymous
"Love is a luxury" - Astron92
"One day you will look back at your life and you will only see your computer." - Nilufar
Irreversibly Invisible
Join Date: Jun 2009
Gender: Female
Age: 32
Posts: 4,754
My Mood:
Roommate finds enough time to cook during the week, and yet is somehow too tired or too busy to clean the kitchen, take out the garbage, or empty the dishwasher, so I'm stuck doing it.
It is the light she longs to find,
When she delights in learning more.
Her world is learning; it defines
The destiny she’s reaching for
- Marie Curie
SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ontario, Canada
Gender: Female
Age: 32
Posts: 8,913
My Mood:
getting a headache
SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ontario, Canada
Gender: Female
Age: 32
Posts: 8,913
My Mood:
I'm a disgrace and a disappointment to everyone who knows me.
Permanently Banned
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: under the ice
Posts: 6,271
Just came back from a psychiatrist appointment.
Me: I feel worse than my usual. I was so anxious last night that I didn't sleep. And harmful thoughts have been circling.
Psychiatrist: You look much better than last time, and you sound better with your talking fluently.
Me: I feel worse than my usual. I was so anxious last night that I didn't sleep. And harmful thoughts have been circling.
Psychiatrist: You look much better than last time, and you sound better with your talking fluently.
❤️ Terminator ❤️
Join Date: May 2010
Location: None of your business.
Language: English, some Italian
Gender: Male
Age: 31
Posts: 12,387
I can't ****ing sleep. Again. Maybe it's my stuffy nose or my anxiety over one of my volunteer jobs potentially being in jeopardy that is making me feel this way. Who knows, and who cares.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
❤️♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡❤️
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
❤️♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡❤️
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Ad astra per aspera.
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,396
I've sacrificed my honest reactions quite a bit in the service of being, not even pc, let's say, in the service of being accepting of others and trying not to make others feel the way I was made to feel. In an effort to be kind, I've almost pathologically deferred from having real opinions and saying what's on my mind. A lot tangled in there from the abusive upbringing, contorting natural reactions to keep very conditional love. Anywho, that's not what I'm going for anymore, so **** it.
Miles to go before I sleep. Vale.
Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
SAS's Chief Meteorologist
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Denver
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,542
Yesterday, when I walked by my neighbor's house, I said "hello" to the woman who lives there. She made a weird face and didn't respond. It ruined my day.
I'm going for another walk in just a few minutes and wondering if I should go around the block to avoid her. It seems like she's always out in her yard.
I'm going for another walk in just a few minutes and wondering if I should go around the block to avoid her. It seems like she's always out in her yard.
Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA
Language: American English, Gibberish
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,001
Maybe the only thing that could go right in my life is if I don't wake up the next morning. 
your dads girlfriend
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: America
Language: English
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,001
My Mood:
Today was really hard for me. I had to socialize with my spouses coworkers and their families, I just wanted to look somewhat decent but I had no time to get ready and the little effort I was able to make made me just stare in the mirror and cry. My face is so hideous and I ended up yelling I JUST DONT EVEN WANT TO GO ANYMORE! but I did, I did go and I felt proud of myself. It was really boring and then I got home and we watched a movie but then we fought and it was a big fight and I’ve just been crying all night. Now it’s morning and I’m still awake. Crying.
”we’ve moved on now
but if I’m honest
I am still
a little bit
in love
with all the ways
we were.”
but if I’m honest
I am still
a little bit
in love
with all the ways
we were.”
Stoicism / ACT / CFT
Join Date: May 2014
Location: UK
Language: English
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,631
After last weeks meltdown, am not feeling very good. This next assignment is going to be a struggle. The pressure is so great now I might totally lose it. Each time recently it's gotten worse and worse. I have basically managed to corner myself in with two stressors, neither of which I am able to reduce to any acceptable level, and my capacity for tolerating stress reduces every time i freak out and panic.
It's becoming clearer and clearer that I can't manage this without pharmacological assistance, but nothing helps me.
It's becoming clearer and clearer that I can't manage this without pharmacological assistance, but nothing helps me.
Ad astra per aspera.
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,396
In another timeline, I have a daughter about to turn 11. Blows my mind to consider. Love you always.
Miles to go before I sleep. Vale.
Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
SAS's Chief Meteorologist
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Denver
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,542
I've lost faith in humanity.
Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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