Self-absorbed but it's ok
Join Date: Oct 2014
Language: Bad English
Just another rant about seeing parents and their children in public transport.
This time it was a woman with two children, one of them is a girl who's about 3-5 years old (she seemed very small though) and a boy who was younger than the girl and he was sleeping in his mum's arms. They seemed like they're from a rather working class family, probably family with not sufficient income. The woman was tired and bored with everything, the girl was sitting next to me with her mothers/her own mobile phone and playing some ''dress up a doll'' game. It was so sad witnessing the little girl desperately trying to interact with her mother who was bored and tired with both of her children, the girl would say stuff like ''look, I'm at a newer level'' or ''look, there's something interesting here!'' etc. The mother would be like ''yeah, sure'' and cut the contact off every time or pretend not to hear the girl at all. The girl, of course, would desperately keep trying to contact the mother because children's survival depends on their parents/caregivers so they don't notice the bad stuff and they're consciously unaware there's something wrong here (it gets burried in unconscious). It was so heartbreaking to witness, knowing the impact it has on psyche and personality development of a child, how children need secure attachment to their parents, it's as vital as physical needs. The mother, of course, doesn't know about this impact so she lets herself be this way because, well, she's tired and doesn't feel well herself. Like most people, she doesn't really think about her decisions in life much and if she does it never goes behind mainstream rhethoric. And the ideological rhethoric says ''you reach certain age and you have family, you give birth to children''. That's it. Everybody does it and it seems not so difficult. She could also be raised by parents that didn't bother much about her, she was just there. So maybe the novelty of having her first child got her excited as something new and important but then there was a second child and she got way too tired cause she doesn't get much help in raising children and basically does all the stuff on her own despite having a husband. So now she thinks it's ok to brush at least her first child off, to give her phone in order to basically get rid of her which kind of works so she can not to bother that much. Then since a couple years later she'll be putting half or one third of the job of raising her second child on her daughers shoulders like 99% of mothers. Awesome. And I'd like to get angry at this mother and judge her, but at the same time I understand that she's tired, lots of things bother and depress her, she has lots of responsibilities etc. But from the perspective of her children, it's right to accuse her of all this stuff. Parents abuse their power they have over their children who depend on them too much to revolt against them. They basically can get away with anything unless they get caought with some extreme abuse which is the only thing that's considered unacceptable in our societies. But as a working class family with two children they struggle a lot. But then they could not give birth to the children. So I also get angry at the government that propagates this ideology of having family, having children for the country, anti-abortion propaganda etc the most. Although the propaganda doesn't completely excuse it because they weren't forced into birthing children and they still had an unpopular option of not doing it. Anyway, it's complicated.
Seriously, I felt like I could burst at any second because of this plus the ****ty ''music'' on the radio plus the bus moving slowly.
P.S. Oh and there was another time when I saw a girl who was about 9-11 years old on the bus. There was woman that was clicking things on her phone next to me and the girl started to ask something to this woman and she payed zero attention. Then the girl was asking her to better go off on current stop but not another one and calling her ''mum'' and she payed zero attention again and she started to talk to another woman instead who was with herself and the girl about something. And then they left on some stop. It was so strange and tragic to witness. Like who the **** treats their children like that? What's their problems? I have an urge to judge them without any justification, but then I'm thinking what if I was having sex with someone before I found out about childhood traumas and what if I got pregnant and what if I was against abortions at that time even if I wouldn't be religious (cause anti-abortion propaganda is pretty strong in this country). I would have a clueless life too and my child would be super duper traumatized by me.
Sorry not sorry