No friends anymore & no passion or drive.
Hey everyone! So as the title says, I've completely lost all my passion and drive.
I did loads of thinking you know, figured out when it all started and where I am now. I don't really have any friends anymore, they've all moved on and while i've tried to move forward it's been really hard for me. I can't get a job, and by this i mean i can't get a job i want, which is simple, a bartender, that's all. Problem is I am unable to force myself to work in other areas if i don't want it, as in I literally cannot do it. I've tried too but even after a few hours my efficiency drops to zero and I am unable to do it anymore. I can't work in retail nor warehousing as i've done them both and ended up getting fired as I hate it. If I hate something i can't force myself to do it.
I did a little test, to see if i stopped mailing my "friends" would they mail me? No they didn't, so i cut them out of my life as i don't see the point in making effort for people who don't do the same for me, I used to bother but once i realised i just stopped. It's not like I'm social withdrawn or anything because believe me I'm not, I approached a random person before i went to see a movie yesterday, so it's not like I'm not capable of making new friends, it's just after a while they leave so It's gotten to the point where I am thinking "What is the point?" I've gone out of my way to contact some people in my past, see what they're up too and see if they fancied a drink at some point & to get back to me when they're free, and i never hear from them again so I don't bother.
Overtime I've found myself jobless for years now, unable to do much of anything really, I'm starting to work out again on monday and i've been doing well cutting down on smoking, so those two good things, I take care of myself more now than i ever did, showering daily, eating better etc.
It's gotten to the point where I can't even be bothered to date anymore, I'm not tooting my own horn but i am good looking, and my confidence as a man has risen over the past couple of years too, It's just despite all I want to do, go out night clubbing again, going to new places & what not that i have nobody to share all of this with. Each weekday i feel bad because everyone is at work and i can't force myself to do a job i hate and on weekends i hear loud music, people having a laugh and I'm seeing these same 4 walls like i have been for months.
What's the point making friends if they're just gonna leave? I put on such a brave face and stay optimistic as i can around others, willing to try out new things and just have fun, so it's not like I'm that friend who doesn't know how to have fun because believe me I do, yet nobody sticks around.
What's the point in dating when I get **** on in the end, despite how funny I can be, exciting, spontaneous and unpredictable, I always get left. Putting my cock in a lass is easy as hell, but when I commit to someone, something that lasts, it goes down the ****pan.
So any advice on a lad who is stuck in this rut, has no problem coming out of his bubble & wanting to meet new people and have a laugh?
Despite how negative this post is, I am quite positive(Don't worry not HIV haha), I feel as if I keep getting dealt a really bad hand and despite it I'm using it to the best of my abilities yet someone else always has the better hand.