Negativity/cynicism - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-23-2019, 12:32 PM Thread Starter
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Negativity/cynicism


I've realised that I can't stop being negative or cynical about everything. This often gets me into trouble online, since I tend to reply badly to comments and posts, especially ones that are overly positive. But I'm seriously just reacting from my experiences so I don't really know how to stop it. Knowing that I have to interact with people more, I need some way of getting over this negativity, or at least holding it back enough that it's not a big deal. Does anyone have any tips?

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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-23-2019, 01:04 PM
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I used to be able to focus on 1 thing at a time very well, and remain stoic. If my environment hadn't affected me so much, i would've been a more "successful wholesome being"

I feel like a fuse in my system has been burnt out and I can't seem to enjoy the days anymore which leads to periods of isolation and empty thoughts. Perhaps paranoia and despair stems from this leading to blind rage and pettiness..

In the moment goofing off or being a little edgy with someone online is so enjoyable to counteract the barren abyss of mah brain, because it seems harmless and can be at times.. depending on who is in the correct wave-length or frame of mind and sense of humor matches etc... variables like these make life a trip
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-23-2019, 01:51 PM
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It's difficult when it becomes habitual.

Online it usually depends on my mood, I guess it's not responsive though. I'm OK with people posting positive stuff, even though I tend to post negative stuff. The posts I really don't like are where it feels like someone is looking down on people for not performing at their level. Among other kinds of bull**** people post. I've just seen a really annoying post in another thread, and managed to not respond to it. But sometimes its just too hard and I end up responding. In my case a lot depends on my mood, I get into these really angry/dark moods sometimes where I lose impulse control even more (and it's not brilliant in the first place.) And I'm just thinking really dark/angry thoughts.

But yeah holding back is often the best thing. In general you have to find the part of yourself that isn't completely darkened and kind of nurture/exercise it/allow it more influence. If you have that part. But it's really difficult when you have to fight against most of yourself all the time.

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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-23-2019, 03:40 PM
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Originally Posted by TheWelshOne View Post
I've realised that I can't stop being negative or cynical about everything. This often gets me into trouble online, since I tend to reply badly to comments and posts, especially ones that are overly positive. But I'm seriously just reacting from my experiences so I don't really know how to stop it. Knowing that I have to interact with people more, I need some way of getting over this negativity, or at least holding it back enough that it's not a big deal. Does anyone have any tips?
I don't really know (obviously) - but maybe if you can have a few more positive experiences then you'll start to have a more positive view of things in general? I'm not really talking about online - I was thinking more along the lines of in real life.

I think I'm also quite cynical about a lot of things - but it's tempered by the positive things that I've had in my life. Like my family life, the friends I've had (mostly in the past now admittedly but there are still a couple) and just general everyday interactions with people.

I don't know if that's exactly what you're talking about - but it seems to me it would give a more balanced view on things.
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-23-2019, 04:49 PM
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I am the ultimate cynic. I'm so cynical, in fact, that I automatically assume that no one is interested in hearing my negativity at full volume.

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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-24-2019, 03:34 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by bricky1 View Post
If my environment hadn't affected me so much, i would've been a more "successful wholesome being"

I feel like a fuse in my system has been burnt out and I can't seem to enjoy the days anymore which leads to periods of isolation and empty thoughts. Perhaps paranoia and despair stems from this leading to blind rage and pettiness.
This is exactly it.

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Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
But yeah holding back is often the best thing. In general you have to find the part of yourself that isn't completely darkened and kind of nurture/exercise it/allow it more influence. If you have that part. But it's really difficult when you have to fight against most of yourself all the time.
Yeah I'm not even sure I have that part. I'm on a Facebook group for anxiety and depression (actually, I've been on two, both similar experiences) and everyone only posts positivity and 'remember this will get better' etc. It feels like it's for people who've had depression for six months and know there's light at the end of the tunnel because they've experienced it before.

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Originally Posted by harrison View Post
I don't really know (obviously) - but maybe if you can have a few more positive experiences then you'll start to have a more positive view of things in general? I'm not really talking about online - I was thinking more along the lines of in real life.

I think I'm also quite cynical about a lot of things - but it's tempered by the positive things that I've had in my life. Like my family life, the friends I've had (mostly in the past now admittedly but there are still a couple) and just general everyday interactions with people.

I don't know if that's exactly what you're talking about - but it seems to me it would give a more balanced view on things.
It would help, but that's my problem. I have nothing positive and I don't know how to get it. My experiences have been overwhelmingly negative in real life. Online things have been slightly better but still more negative than positive. And the more negative I am, the more people will get sick of me, so it's a cycle. My former therapist told me I need to stop talking about negative things but honestly if I stop doing that, I have nothing to say.

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I am the ultimate cynic. I'm so cynical, in fact, that I automatically assume that no one is interested in hearing my negativity at full volume.
And this is why I rarely post on SAS anymore.

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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-24-2019, 07:36 AM
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Originally Posted by TheWelshOne View Post
I've realised that I can't stop being negative or cynical about everything. This often gets me into trouble online, since I tend to reply badly to comments and posts, especially ones that are overly positive. But I'm seriously just reacting from my experiences so I don't really know how to stop it. Knowing that I have to interact with people more, I need some way of getting over this negativity, or at least holding it back enough that it's not a big deal. Does anyone have any tips?
I only realised last year how negative I am. My family stop talking and don’t respond at all if it’s negative. Embarrassing. So I’m drifting through, trying to find things to talk about, and struggling. Often I seem to enjoy the negative (I get a buzz from it-not sure why).??
I am trying to observe more. If I’m around people I try to see how the conversations flow, how people react to one another, what topics they choose to talk about and how engaging it is for the other people. Baby steps for me.
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-24-2019, 11:46 AM
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Here's me at my most cynical - My theory is that people actually want to watch each other suffer. And in some small way, they actually want to feel responsible for other people's suffering. And that's why they always stand up for the status quo. They know exactly what they're doing. The status quo is designed from the ground up to induce suffering but it's diabolical in that way that it looks entirely coincidental.

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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-24-2019, 03:02 PM
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Originally Posted by TheWelshOne View Post
This is exactly it.



Yeah I'm not even sure I have that part. I'm on a Facebook group for anxiety and depression (actually, I've been on two, both similar experiences) and everyone only posts positivity and 'remember this will get better' etc. It feels like it's for people who've had depression for six months and know there's light at the end of the tunnel because they've experienced it before.

I feel like more functional people are active on Facebook since as my real life became essentially non existent I just stopped using that site all together because it was more useful for keeping up with stuff happening irl for me.

But I went to an anxiety meetup group a few years ago irl and the couple of people I talked to there seemed mostly unaffected by anxiety. Either they'd overcome it enough that it wasn't really inhibiting their life or in the case of one person I talked to they were only really there for public speaking anxiety (it was an event after the first thing.)

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Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
Here's me at my most cynical - My theory is that people actually want to watch each other suffer. And in some small way, they actually want to feel responsible for other people's suffering. And that's why they always stand up for the status quo. They know exactly what they're doing. The status quo is designed from the ground up to induce suffering but it's diabolical in that way that it looks entirely coincidental.
I don't think it's because they want to watch people suffer, I think it's more that the more a system is working for someone the more they will defend it. If it's working for them they don't have to question it. People do enjoy feeling superior to others though.

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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-24-2019, 03:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
I feel like more functional people are active on Facebook since as my real life became essentially non existent I just stopped using that site all together because it was more useful for keeping up with stuff happening irl for me.

But I went to an anxiety meetup group a few years ago irl and the couple of people I talked to there seemed mostly unaffected by anxiety. Either they'd overcome it enough that it wasn't really inhibiting their life or in the case of one person I talked to they were only really there for public speaking anxiety (it was an event after the first thing.)



I don't think it's because they want to watch people suffer, I think it's more that the more a system is working for someone the more they will defend it. If it's working for them they don't have to question it. People do enjoy feeling superior to others though.
It's the matrix in a way, we are all in the matrix trying to find purpose without the aid of morpheous and a powerhouse team

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