Negative Environment? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 04:03 PM Thread Starter
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Negative Environment?


I live in a small 2 bedroom apartment with mum, and we have noisy neighbors upstairs with 2 children who always run around and stomp, scream and cry and the parents slam doors. I ignore the noise as much as possible, but my mom gets really really mad when they run and make noise, then she comes into my room and complains about it to me, when I don't want to talk about it, she gets really really mad at me and says that I take their side, then she goes around slamming the doors in the apartment and screaming insults at the neighbors. I try my best to stay out of it and my mom gets really mad at me when I don't want to take part in being loud to get back at them. My mom gets mad easily and I don't know what to do. She says I am selfish when I don't want to talk about the loud neighbors. I don't want to make any more enemies because I already have enough enemies because of my mom's anger. We have a hostile neighbor next door as well. And I am afraid if the ones upstairs hate us too then the neighbors will join forces to do something really bad to us. I don't know what to do. My environment is so negative and its really bad for my already damaged pysche, and when I tell my mom this she gets mad at me and says mean things to me.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 11:19 PM
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Damn sounds similar as it is for me. My household is very negative, and I can't address any part of it because then everything is turned against me and I get blamed for countless things. I could go on and on and write about how bad it is, but all I can is it's very difficult to live here yet there's nothing I can really do about it. I've been in the process of trying to move out for a long time now to no avail. I've let years of my life pass me by largely because of the environment. No one will accept that it's keeping me stuck in place. Of course moving comes with it's own problems too though. Are you able to try and move out? I suppose that is the only solution or to be outdoors more often than you are currently.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 11:34 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Kyama3 View Post
Damn sounds similar as it is for me. My household is very negative, and I can't address any part of it because then everything is turned against me and I get blamed for countless things. I could go on and on and write about how bad it is, but all I can is it's very difficult to live here yet there's nothing I can really do about it. I've been in the process of trying to move out for a long time now to no avail. I've let years of my life pass me by largely because of the environment. No one will accept that it's keeping me stuck in place. Of course moving comes with it's own problems too though. Are you able to try and move out? I suppose that is the only solution or to be outdoors more often than you are currently.
I try and go for walks alot or lock myself in my room and work on my projects. I can't move out right now because I have no where else to go and I have no friends I can go to for help or anything, I was just venting really, but its nice to have someone to talk to about it.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-29-2015, 11:40 PM
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Originally Posted by lonerroom View Post
My environment is so negative and its really bad for my already damaged pysche
I have similar problems, with my mother too. There has come a point where I have somewhat toughed up and am now ready to throw down, to fight. The other half of me is learning how to simply not care what is being said about me. As much as I hate it, I feel like this environment with either make you ready to go to war, or depressed and apathetic. I am trying to make conscious decisions to avoid falling into toxic situations now.

If you don't like what she is saying, flip it on her. Show some "not interested" body language, ask her how long she will go on for, ask her what she can do, does she plan to do it, you can try to turn it away from straight complaining to problem solving. I recently called my mother out when she was complaining about somebody to that person saying "Do you have anything good to say?" It's exhausting to be **** on, and we need to use the power of no to at least deflect that **** in somebody else's direction.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-30-2015, 12:05 AM
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I remain living at home with my parents and my mum is similar in nature too. Argumentative, especially with my father, always complaining about cooking/cleaning and sometimes just about anything else that she comes into contact with. Whilst sometimes her arguments do make sense, the whole mood of the house is rarely anything other than low.

If I earned a few hundred pounds a month more, rest assured, I would have already moved out. As things stand though, it's not financially possible. Especially when you consider that I contribute towards the domestic bills as my father's salary is equally as poor as mine these days.

I'm stuck, unfortunately.

"My life is an endless purgatory, interrupted by profound moments of misery"

My Blog: https://haymansafc.wordpress.com/
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