Need help I'm weak, useless, worthless and pathetic - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-25-2013, 11:24 PM Thread Starter
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Need help I'm weak, useless, worthless and pathetic


I hate myself and I can't handle life anymore. I'm too weak and I fear losing things like my job if I check myself in somewhere. I would definitely be committed for a period of time. Also I don't think I could survive being locked up and drugged somewhere with my anxiety.

Can't keep going, can't keep trying. Nothing is worth it since I'm so worthless.
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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 12:08 AM
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I've recently felt that way. I didn't get much help either except meds and therapy.

Have you tried anxiety meds? Exercise helps me a bit with anxiety and depression. Mindfulness takes your focus to the present. Also, have you tried therapy?

You aren't worthless, man. You have problems but they don't make you worthless. You aren't your problems. You will be stronger after you overcome your problems. Actually you're already strong for enduring this anguish.
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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 12:13 AM Thread Starter
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I don't take any drugs, can't afford to go to therapy on a regular basis, and I dread exercising.

If you met me in person you'd know how worthless I am. Its why I never have people in my life. People like my family tolerates me because I'm family they don't actually like me as a person. I'm unlikable and unlovable as proven by countless failed attempts at meeting people.
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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 12:18 AM
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I don't take any drugs, can't afford to go to therapy on a regular basis, and I dread exercising.

If you met me in person you'd know how worthless I am. Its why I never have people in my life. People like my family tolerates me because I'm family they don't actually like me as a person. I'm unlikable and unlovable as proven by countless failed attempts at meeting people.
Just try going for a run. If you feel panicky benzos help a lot.

I've felt how you have before and I know rejection sucks but this self-pity isn't true and won't help you. You're making yourself out as your problems. Maybe do some soul searching? What's making you depressed anyway?
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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 12:24 AM Thread Starter
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Everything in my life sucks. I enjoy nothing. I don't have money for food much less "play money" to do things. I'm so lonely I sometimes talk to myself. Nobody likes me. Girls always rejecte me in some way. My car is breaking down and I can't afford a new one. I have no goals. I struggle to get out of bed. I hate my job and people I work with. I never recovered from being robbed at gunpoint last year in terms of material things. And I'm very lonely. I am sick and tired of having no one except a person from SAS I will never meet in person. I am desperate for any human contact at this point. And lastly I just want to die more than anything
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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 12:25 AM
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I feel the same way, except ill start to feel better and then ill just realize how ugly and stupid I am. I just want to crawl out of my skin like a snake.
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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 01:05 AM
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Everything in my life sucks. I enjoy nothing. I don't have money for food much less "play money" to do things. I'm so lonely I sometimes talk to myself. Nobody likes me. Girls always rejecte me in some way. My car is breaking down and I can't afford a new one. I have no goals. I struggle to get out of bed. I hate my job and people I work with. I never recovered from being robbed at gunpoint last year in terms of material things. And I'm very lonely. I am sick and tired of having no one except a person from SAS I will never meet in person. I am desperate for any human contact at this point. And lastly I just want to die more than anything
I think you should focus on improving yourself before you try and find a gf. Invest in yourself instead of one person. Remember, there are lots of girls. So try not to get attached too easily.

I don't have a car either. Public transportation isn't the best but it works. Biking helps too.

If you have to break your routine that might help. Also, consider meds. Hope this helps. I know what it's like to feel helpless and unlikable. Try not to believe it because it isn't necessarily true.
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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 01:28 AM Thread Starter
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I tried improving myself and I failed. I have a car it just finds new ways to break down and I don't have the money to get a new one. Especially due to possibly losing my job.

Me being unlikable is true or else I would have friends, family or a girlfriend who cared about me. Sadly no one does. I agree about breaking routine but I hate doing anything except lay in bed.

I have tried drawing, shopping, cooking, video games, going to the theater, watching my favorite shows and sports, reading books and comics and other hobbies I used to enjoy but I hate doing everything.

I think all over the counter drugs are dangerous so I won't take advil much less an anti-depressants
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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 01:31 AM
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I can relate to everything you've said. I don't think I can ever get a girlfriend as I'm just too ashamed of my job, financial and social situation which I can attribute to SA. I would worship the person who made an actual cure for this damn illness!
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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 01:37 AM
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Okay here goes. I have been looking at this post and beating myself up for not saying anything and not being able to find words to help but I just gotta word vomit this and maybe something coherent will form and actually help you. So here goes....

I see life as a puzzle. A Lot of people put it all together right away. for me and you it falls appart and we have to start all over and we think we might have lost of pieces. You just have to keep going. You just keep piecing things together. Attack first the border of the image until you can begin to see the clear and full picture. And finally you make a picture. And it might fall appart again, but thats when you just piece it all together again. It sucks but its how life works.

Now let me explain, make short term goals. take it on piece at a time. Today I will.. go for a walk. Today I will.. sign up for therapy... etc. You cant just expect it all the pieces fall into place. It takes time and effort. It requires all of your focus and dedication. Not until you start to get short term goals done do you see small results. And then longer term goals start to become seeable and achievable.

Piece it together, bit by bit. Its a journey. Your epic trial and test in life. Your job is to conquer it.

And don't think no one cares about you. Clearly people do. Count me as plus one! ^_^
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post #11 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 01:46 AM
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Okay here goes. I have been looking at this post and beating myself up for not saying anything and not being able to find words to help but I just gotta word vomit this and maybe something coherent will form and actually help you. So here goes....

I see life as a puzzle. A Lot of people put it all together right away. for me and you it falls appart and we have to start all over and we think we might have lost of pieces. You just have to keep going. You just keep piecing things together. Attack first the border of the image until you can begin to see the clear and full picture. And finally you make a picture. And it might fall appart again, but thats when you just piece it all together again. It sucks but its how life works.

Now let me explain, make short term goals. take it on piece at a time. Today I will.. go for a walk. Today I will.. sign up for therapy... etc. You cant just expect it all the pieces fall into place. It takes time and effort. It requires all of your focus and dedication. Not until you start to get short term goals done do you see small results. And then longer term goals start to become seeable and achievable.

Piece it together, bit by bit. Its a journey. Your epic trial and test in life. Your job is to conquer it.

And don't think no one cares about you. Clearly people do. Count me as plus one! ^_^
Great analogy there, makes a lot of sense

So have you ever been caught in a sea of despair?
And your moment of truth
Is the day that you say 'I'm not scared'
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post #12 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 01:47 AM Thread Starter
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^ That seems doable. I might give it a try. Thanks. But why beat yourself up for not having the right words to say (ironically your words were very helpful indeed)

Has this helped you in any way?
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post #13 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 01:47 AM
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I tried improving myself and I failed. I have a car it just finds new ways to break down and I don't have the money to get a new one. Especially due to possibly losing my job.

Me being unlikable is true or else I would have friends, family or a girlfriend who cared about me. Sadly no one does. I agree about breaking routine but I hate doing anything except lay in bed.

I have tried drawing, shopping, cooking, video games, going to the theater, watching my favorite shows and sports, reading books and comics and other hobbies I used to enjoy but I hate doing everything.

I think all over the counter drugs are dangerous so I won't take advil much less an anti-depressants
If you lose your job look for another one or apply for SSI. That's all I can say about that.

I don't have friends or a gf either. The only family I've got is my grandma. You're position reflects your circumstances not your being "unlikable". But the attitude you have is unlikable to be honest.

When you wake up, get up and go for a jog around your neighborhood. It'll take like ten minutes.

I disagree. I think drugs can be useful.
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post #14 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 01:47 AM
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Great analogy there, makes a lot of sense
thanks .. I cried with relief when I finished. I was just happy I finally could say something.
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post #15 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 01:50 AM Thread Starter
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If you lose your job look for another one or apply for SSI. That's all I can say about that.

I don't have friends or a gf either. The only family I've got is my grandma. You're position reflects your circumstances not your being "unlikable". But the attitude you have is unlikable to be honest.

When you wake up, get up and go for a jog around your neighborhood. It'll take like ten minutes.
My attitude hasn't always been this way. I just came to this conclusion after so many years of rejection mixed with an intense feeling of loneliness.
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post #16 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 01:50 AM
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^ That seems doable. I might give it a try. Thanks. But why beat yourself up for not having the right words to say (ironically your words were very helpful indeed)

Has this helped you in any way?
It was? OH thank god! *hugs* Im so happy.
I never feel like death is an option. Or harming myself. I have a goal in life and Im not going until I accomplish it
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post #17 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 01:53 AM Thread Starter
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It was? OH thank god! *hugs* Im so happy.
I never feel like death is an option. Or harming myself. I have a goal in life and Im not going until I accomplish it
I feel the opposite I always want to die and hurt myself. Or do something so despicable and evil that people will hate me as I hate myself.

I also don't have any goals. I guess my goal now is to start small. Maybe a jog this morning like the other guy said.
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post #18 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 02:12 AM
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I feel the opposite I always want to die and hurt myself. Or do something so despicable and evil that people will hate me as I hate myself.

I also don't have any goals. I guess my goal now is to start small. Maybe a jog this morning like the other guy said.
That releases endorphins which helps put a positive spring in your step. IM glad you are starting small goals. You will figure the bigger ones out. Just start small. You will begin to see a bigger picture soon.
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post #19 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 03:11 AM
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(Here I am, online at a time when I should really be in bed! )

I'm really glad you've been given some advice here that might help you, if even a little. The way you're feeling right now is actually something I'm very familiar with...in fact I've been feeling it pretty much every morning for a while now. I actually dread getting to bed (no matter how much I adore sleep, and how tired and miserable I am the next day without it), because that's when it's been hitting me hardest lately. Every night I ask myself, why? Just...why? Why am I even here, still? What is the point of all this hurting? Will I ever know?

But I cry for a little while, kiss my cat goodnight, dry my eyes, wash my face, and go to bed and wake up again just the same. I find something small and tenuous to keep holding on to.

I guess I have this stupid hope (and I won't lie, sometimes I hate hope for keeping me going) that that something small and tenuous will eventually prove worthwhile. Until then...I keep holding on, and trudging.

I think I just don't tend to show it quite as much as you've been tonight (unless you've been spotting my posts in "What's bothering you...," I think I'm currently the top poster in there, hooray ;_; ), so, I don't know, maybe I don't come across as being as upset as I really am...but it's definitely...well...grueling.

Perhaps I'm just more used to it. After all I've had about 25 years of it to put up with so far. :/

I kind of wanted to ask, if there was something specific, a trigger, a straw that broke the camel's back, that set you off last night/tonight, as you were sounding cheerier yesterday (er...the day before...cripes this is what I get being on here after midnight ), but now you seem to have crashed...but perhaps it's better for you not to dwell on that. All I know is that it looks like everything has piled up and hit you hard...another feeling I know well. Life feels like an avalanche sometimes.

The advice you were given is solid. Tiny pieces. Tiny steps. Keep trying to fit them together somehow. (Some of them take some work...like the jigsaw didn't do its job properly.) And try to find something, no matter how fragile and tenuous and silly it might seem, to hold on to until the next day, and the next.

...

I think I'm just blithering pointlessly and need to get to bed ;_; but I just wanted you to know you haven't gone unnoticed. And you certainly aren't unliked (though I also know from experience it can be hard to believe that).

I do hope the more concrete issues that are plaguing you (your car, your job) can be worked out somehow, too. Often when those are resolved, the emotional issues level out somewhat. When you have so much concrete stress in your life it's like your immune system is compromised, and no wonder every emotional thing hits you like a brick.


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Det. Devetko: "Definitely."

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post #20 of 24 (permalink) Old 11-26-2013, 03:29 AM
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I tried improving myself and I failed. I have a car it just finds new ways to break down and I don't have the money to get a new one. Especially due to possibly losing my job.

Me being unlikable is true or else I would have friends, family or a girlfriend who cared about me. Sadly no one does. I agree about breaking routine but I hate doing anything except lay in bed.

I have tried drawing, shopping, cooking, video games, going to the theater, watching my favorite shows and sports, reading books and comics and other hobbies I used to enjoy but I hate doing everything.

I think all over the counter drugs are dangerous so I won't take advil much less an anti-depressants
The fact that you can drive is one achievement at least. I tried to take driving lessons and failed miserably and it went so bad my instructer and I fell out, since then I just cant face doing lessons again.

"Life isn't about being happy with how much you weigh, but just being happy with yourself" - Sherman Klump
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