My parents are angry - it seems all the time - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-25-2019, 08:44 PM Thread Starter
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My parents are angry - it seems all the time


My mom is so angry these days, I don't understand how someone can always be so angry. But now it's happened so long that it's rubbing off on me. I've never been an angry person, but now I notice I get agitated easily, things make me angry inside, though I try to hide it.

Tonight I was trying to help and couldn't do anything right. I saw the clothes were done so I hung up the ones that were supposed to be and put the others in the dryer. My mom comes running in asking what I did like I did something wrong. So I just said I was hanging up the clothes.

Then I decided to make a chicken pot pie for dinner. So I put it in the microwave, and on the box it says to pull the top of the box off, but I never do because I notice no difference. So no I don't always do it like it says, but it still gets cooked. Well, my mom saw it and pulled it out with it all hot an says "Can't you read? You don't even know how to make a frozen dinner! You couldn't even do anything if I wasn't here!"

I just said I read it but I never take it off because it seems to work fine without it. But she kept going on about how I don't do anything.

Since my dad retired she's always angry, and practically every night I hear about what he does all day. Which is always the same, he gets up and watches the news for 3 hours, goes outside to walk around, gets the mail and drops it off. Then eat lunch, take a nap for 2 hours and then drink beer until it's time for dinner. This is the same story I always hear, every day.

I'm just so tired of this and how nothing changes. It doesn't matter what I do, it's the same outcome. Everyone gets grouchy every night, after they've had enough to drink.

It's utterly ridiculous. I've begged and pleaded for them to stop drinking (I know that's not the root cause of it, but it's certainly not helping the situation) but no one listens. My mom just points out how I'm not so great myself because I go on the internet and buy things.

My mom's always been fussy since I remember but I don't remember it being every day and every night. She claims it's because my dad is at home all day, but she was definitely doing this before he retired. It just didn't seem as intense. Or maybe I just can't remember. But it's been going on at least since 2001-2002 when I was 11. Maybe that's just when I was smart enough to realize it.

Everything she does she seems to get frustrated with, and I try to make her stop but she won't. She just keeps saying she's old and frustrated and likes to slam things around and act like everything is a problem. She complains about having to go to the grocery store all the time, but when I tell her I don't mind shopping since I'm already in town for work, she just says she knows but won't tell me what she needs. (I don't and refuse to buy alcohol for them though, so maybe that's why.) Most of the grocery trips seem to involve needing drinks.

I try to do the laundry but she won't let me, claiming it's a waste of water to do my laundry separate. So I try not to use so much laundry and wear the same things twice before washing, but it still accumulates.

I'd like to put both of my parents in a hospital and have them there until they're sober and thinking clearly, and then I could take a break from the stress in the mean time and get better myself. But I don't think I can do that. But that's been my dream for years.

Underneath the cold November sky, I wait for you... As the pages of my life roll by, I wait for you... I'm so desperate just to see your face, meet me in this broken place...

Be a little brave for a little bit of time.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-27-2019, 07:19 AM
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So are you living at home with your parents? Or do you visit them to help out?

If it's the former, I'd suggest moving out, if you can. The situation sounds stressful and from what you've said I don't think it can be doing you much good.

Maybe your mum finds it irritating having your dad around the house?

I remember when my dad retired, my mum was always going on about him "getting under her feet" when he was sitting around watching TV or whatever.

After a while she seemed to get used to him being around and stopped complaining so much.

The addition of your folks' drinking wouldn't be helping things. Have they always been drinkers?

Anyway sorry I can't offer more in the way of advice. Hope you're hanging on in there OK.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-27-2019, 09:14 PM Thread Starter
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Yeah, I think it's common, the irritation, and I've noticed a lot of women in their 50s and 60s complain about their husbands it seems.

Yeah, my parents were always drinkers. But when my dad had to work, he couldn't do it as much. I remember times where he would only drink on the weekends too. Now he starts drinking beers about 3:30 every day. My mom has cut back quite a bit, but she still has a couple drinks usually.

I just expect them to be drinking when I get home and usually they are, my dad at least always is.

And yeah, I'd like to move out, but I'm already stressed enough with work without it being the difference of having a roof over my head or not.

Thanks for taking time to respond.

Underneath the cold November sky, I wait for you... As the pages of my life roll by, I wait for you... I'm so desperate just to see your face, meet me in this broken place...

Be a little brave for a little bit of time.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-28-2019, 09:05 PM
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Hey, no worries. Like I say, your post struck a chord with me.

Yeah, I agree that women of a certain age can suddenly seem grumpy and angry all the time for no apparent reason.

I felt kinda sorry for my dad sometimes; he could do no right.

I love my folks, but couldn't go back to living with them lol.

I understand what you say about not needing the added stress of finding your own place. If you have anxiety anyway, it's important to try to keep life stresses to a minimum.

I hope things work out, or at least get better for you 🙂
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