My life is screwed up - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 04:39 AM Thread Starter
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My life is screwed up


I don't have any friends. Talking to NOBODY. Severe social anxiety and depression. Ugliness is why nobody wants me around. This is my first year in university and i'm about to drop out because of isolation. I dont go to lectures often because i feel lonely there. Seriously i don't know any of their names and everyone is living a social life so it makes me realize how ugly and weird i am.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 07:12 AM
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I don't have any friends. Talking to NOBODY. Severe social anxiety and depression. Ugliness is why nobody wants me around. This is my first year in university and i'm about to drop out because of isolation. I dont go to lectures often because i feel lonely there. Seriously i don't know any of their names and everyone is living a social life so it makes me realize how ugly and weird i am.
Sorry for the long post. I typed what I felt so it's very long
I understand how difficult it is to be out there! But trust me if you manage to get through this you'll have better moments to look back in life. I too have felt like quiting in many instances and have done it a few times when I felt extremely nervous but I have managed to recover from those feelings later on in life so it's like seasonal which don't always continue to traumatize so try your best in talking and convincing yourself that you can get through this come up with some simple yet helpful techniques like sit in a corner of the lecture room and try and smile at the ones around you (not always yeah) be helpful like offering something or even be attentive in class so you can connect with your lecturer or even feel confident in some way. I know many things that we say are easier said than done.
Nobody has told you that you are ugly and suppose even if they had they don't have the right to judge anyone's looks nor their character. I believe everyone is beautiful in their own unique way. I too feel sometimes that that person looks prettier and why can't I look like that but then again I'd realize there can be only one person in this world with looks, talents, skills, thoughts and so on that would suit only them or in other words they have to be themselves and I have to be myself or me but I am trying to reject myself in not accepting the fact that I am the way I am, the way I should be.
Also remember social life is not everything so don't base your happiness on others having or seeming to have a better social life. If you want to talk to someone here I am feel free to vent it out or share your feelings with me.
Cheer up and God bless
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 10:43 AM
Merry Effing Christmas
 
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Ugliness is Life's Daily B*tchslap. It's a serious problem for me, too, but most people trivialize it.

Otoh, I don't know what you look like, and it's possible that you have BDD (body dysmorphic disorder). If you think ugliness is the reason for your social anxiety, you might want to talk to a therapist about it if you haven't. BDD can seriously **** people over and is often comorbid with SAD, MDD, OCD, substance abuse and other issues.

For forty-seven years I've put up with it now. I must stop Christmas from coming ... but how?
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 11:17 AM
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I don't have any friends. Talking to NOBODY. Severe social anxiety and depression. Ugliness is why nobody wants me around. This is my first year in university and i'm about to drop out because of isolation. I dont go to lectures often because i feel lonely there. Seriously i don't know any of their names and everyone is living a social life so it makes me realize how ugly and weird i am.
I can only give you an advice : Force yourself. It's now or never. You don't want to look back and tell yourself "if only I tried harder". You should look for the "outcast" circle. I bet there is a little group of "outcasts". Try to make friends with them. That's basically what I did.

I also barely talked to others in university. The first year I would go to the lectures, but year after year I showed up more rarely. I somehow made it till the end. I do have a huge regret I will carry my whole life, that is not trying to start a romance with other female students.

I know it is hard. But if you really want to improve yourself, now is the time. Don't wait till you are in your 30's, because it will be too late.

Good luck

"Rome will lose the faith and become the seat of the antichrist." ~ Our Lady of La Salette
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 11:46 AM
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i get similar feelings all the time. i didnt make any friends at uni either. dropped out a few times. it didnt really make life any easier but yeah you've gotta do what you've gotta do. life isn't a straight line. whatever you decide is ok.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 01:03 PM
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Sorry you’re feeling this way. Hang in there. I’ve been through similar during uni when my only friend dropped out. I was alone and I didn’t want to leave my room, let alone go to class. I missed some classes but forced myself to go. As hard as it is, Keep trying. It will be worth it in the end.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-08-2019, 09:08 PM
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Why not try taking some online classes? I take online classes because of course I hate being in class. My university has options, so hopefully yours does too. I put off the classes that I can only take in person, and hope future me can handle those. Just know your not alone. This site is full of people like yourselves! At least here you have a place to feel seen and heard.
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 11-09-2019, 04:33 AM
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Hey

University can be tough, but it's also a great opportunity to put yourself out there. Best case scenario, you get a close group of friends for life. Worst case scenario, you'll see none of them again and carry on in life, so there's nothing to lose! I'd say that going to lectures is actually a good way to meet people - people may not know who you are if you don't turn up! Also, get involved in societies - a lot of people make friends this way, and if you come regularly for a few weeks then you'll become part of the 'regulars' and get on with people naturally that way. Some people have also made great friends getting involved in volunteering - working with friends is one of the best ways to improve your social skills and confidence, so I'd definitely get involved. Your life is definitely not over - the next 50 years won't be defined by a couple of years at university, for sure! You've still got plenty of time to turn things around - best of luck!x

Much love <3

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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old Today, 08:06 AM
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I don't have any friends. Talking to NOBODY.
Same here. I love being alone and I am never lonely.
So, we have the same/similar situation as yours but we are having different results/experiences.

Therefore, I think you could agree that there is something different about how you think about not having friends/not talking to anyone and how I am.

That difference is what we think about those two things (and other things too).

I have stopped thinking that I need friends or that I need to be "social". I used to think I needed friends/a partner, but then I came to realize that these things were just other people's opinions which I believed to be true and not facts.
You need to see that opinions are not facts (and cannot ever be facts) if you want to stop feeling as you do.

I understand how in our modern times, there is a colossal expectoration to be social and that if you are not seen as such, people will regard you in a negative way somehow.

But this is because you have agreed (subconsciously) to allow other people's (society) opinions to determine various things about yourself.
Once you stop doing that, you won't feel the pressure to comply with what you think you have to. The you will be free and you can choose whatever you want to.

I should also mention that it is well known that there is a very strong desire to be in a group/social situations, for people under the age of 25 and even more so those in their teen years. So some of what you are experiencing is down to that phenomena.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old Today, 08:10 AM
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The same goes for your opinion about being "ugly". Its just other people's opinions and not a fact.
You cannot ever prove that you are ugly (neither can anyone else prove they are ugly), nor b y the same token can anyone prove someone is beautiful.
They are two sides of the same coin, which exists only in our minds and nowhere else.

The same goes for smart/stupid, good/bad, better/worse, funny/not funny, worthy/unworthy, valuable/not valuable, etc.
None of these things are provable in reality. They only exist in our imagination.
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old Today, 08:26 AM
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I can only give you an advice : Force yourself. It's now or never. You don't want to look back and tell yourself "if only I tried harder". You should look for the "outcast" circle. I bet there is a little group of "outcasts". Try to make friends with them. That's basically what I did.
Very good advice. You don't want those regrets to follow you your whole life. Im 42 and still regret a lot of this stuff from high school and college age. Improvement is easy but try to take some small steps everyday such as saying hi to people and being friendly. Join some groups of people with similar interests and perhaps you will find like minded people who you can be friends with or at least people you have something in common with
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old Today, 08:28 AM
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I don't have any friends. Talking to NOBODY. Severe social anxiety and depression. Ugliness is why nobody wants me around. This is my first year in university and i'm about to drop out because of isolation. I dont go to lectures often because i feel lonely there. Seriously i don't know any of their names and everyone is living a social life so it makes me realize how ugly and weird i am.
Sorry your going through this situation. High school and college are tough times. Don't drop out. I did and I regret it. Try to get some help to cope with your anxiety. Therapist or DR. perhaps. I wish I had at that time. It may not be a cure all but therapy and medication can improve your situation
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old Today, 09:13 AM
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At least people respect your communication. For me, people online and in person put so much effort into isolating me by lecturing my grammar/communication skills. I think my time and events are sabotaged, because every important situation that I'm in ends up derailed by people.

I think the supercomputers reported my mind to the software engineers in 2015. So they updated the emulation to reboot people from interpreting my language. I come across more than one person giving me personal phrases that are outside of context. My encounters always avoids using words related to my concepts, so they won't allow themselves to go any further with speaking to me. Since I started writing my ideas online, my sleep is complicated. Someone doesn't want me to concentrate own sharing my ideas out.

Multi-Agent Quantum AI Computers managing humanity 24/7 using Quantum Cryptography Satellites to run a thought interval to generate cryptographic keys to refresh key information into thoughts to channel the communication 24/7.

NSA computionally remapping buildings, jobs, relationships, wealth, education, and income using bio intelligence system to manage citizens time & events in their own environment.

NSA Software Engineers created citizens mind, language and awareness incorrectly.
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