My life is real misery. Read and feel better about yours - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-04-2016, 01:32 AM Thread Starter
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My life is real misery. Read and feel better about yours


There's no doubt that people out there exist with live's worse than yours.. I'm sure there are people out there who have experienced horrible things, but have also had many happy and positive moments too...My life has been ALMOST nothing but sadness.

Since I was very young my life has been an absolute mess. My mom had 4(1 passed) kids by the time she was 22. Shortly after my dad was arrested and sent to jail,and that left my mom to do all of the parenting on her own. My mom was not prepared for anything, she was still new to this country,with no education, no real life experience, and here she was all alone with 3 kids. She made a lot of mistakes, but she did not know any better. I still love her though.

Life was not kind to my siblings and I, but I feel I got the worst treatment of us 3. My mom and uncle were pretty harsh in their punishment, they constantly put me down, and were at times really physically abusive. But I don't think they really knew the damage they were causing...They were both young and naive.

I also grew up being bullied for a short time in my childhood days, I had few friends. By the time I reached middle school I acted out extremely bad, but honestly I had no idea why I did it or what was the purpose. Many middles schools could not deal with me so I was passed along to whatever school was willing to take me. I went to 5 middle schools until I was finally placed in a home studies program. Eventually I was dropped from that as well.


I didn't graduate middle school, high school, and obviously not college...and when I reached the age of 14-15, my attitude changed and I didn't want to go outside anymore, I began staying home everyday. I avoided everyone, I lost all my friends, and my only cousins and uncles never cared for me..

I stayed at home almost everyday since my youth..I had a girlfriend who stuck by me for 6 YEARS, even though I NEVER went anywhere with her, but eventually, she cheated and left me because I wouldn't change.I never built a life, much family,I don't have an education, I hardly have any money, no driver's license, and I am now unemployed as of today.I quit my job, this was my first job in 7 years, and I quit in 2 weeks due to my mental health.

I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, which is a mix of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. I become easily paranoid, I easily get depressed and suicidal..

To make things worse i'm 27, and my hair is already falling out, it could be from stress, or it could just be genetic. Life was already hard on me, and I have to deal with going bald at 27, a problem that even older men can't handle.. it makes me look so bad when I buzz my hair, i'm forced to grow out my hair just to make myself look more presentable...

if there is a positive thing in my life it's 3 things,1. my mom has become very supportive now that she's older, 2. I have a half brother that I love with all my heart, and 3. I have a long distant relationship girlfriend that I hope to see in a month...

if I didn't have the last 3 things in my life, I don't know where I would be. In jail, on the streets, dead, a criminal...


be thankful for your family, your friends, hug them, love them. Enjoy your lives together.. Be proud of your education , what you achieved, and strength to live life...

I wish to one day wake up feeling strong, not be paranoid over stupid things, and live half the lives that all you had lived.
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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-04-2016, 05:05 AM
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glad to hear that you at least have those 3 things you mention going for you. keep staying strong and best of luck my friend.

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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-04-2016, 02:03 PM
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You had a girlfriend... I just feel worse now.
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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-04-2016, 03:30 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by sdeprived View Post
You had a girlfriend... I just feel worse now.
I did and do. But you're still young. There's nothing hard about talking to girls unless they dont at all care for you..., even an agoraphobic, schizoaffective nut like me can tell you that. Ask girls questions , make light jokes, don't come across as desperate go from there.
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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-04-2016, 09:11 PM
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I wish you luck as I've also dealt with agoraphobia a lot in my youth, vast majority of life isolated and still am isolated. I never worked or had a gf and I'm a loner.
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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-04-2016, 09:18 PM
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Unfortunately my life is bottom of the barrel. My family is awful. I have no prospects of girlfriends.

I am literally better off dead.

Here's to life, the vice
The great herald of misery
In this cup, spiritus frumenti
For this is the nectar of the spirit
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-04-2016, 10:22 PM Thread Starter
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I wish you luck as I've also dealt with agoraphobia a lot in my youth, vast majority of life isolated and still am isolated. I never worked or had a gf and I'm a loner.
If you ever need anyone to talk to man. Dont feel alone in this. There are others who are right there with you.
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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-04-2016, 10:24 PM Thread Starter
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Unfortunately my life is bottom of the barrel. My family is awful. I have no prospects of girlfriends.

I am literally better off dead.
I totally get that feeling. But Things can get better. Good luck to all of you .
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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-04-2016, 11:15 PM
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It sounds like you lived life. I mean - a hard life. But at least you lived it. I feel a little jealous. My life has been vastly empty and void. I went to school. I was pretty much an anonymous c student. When somebody did acknowledge me it was to be mean to me. I went through all 12 years of school saying maybe 20 words. People thought I was life and once my teacher even asked my parents if I needed special education because she thought I was autistic or something. Now - out of school I basically go to work and home. Work and home. You have a girlfriend. You have a story to tell. Some life experience. You walked that hard road and I don't know man. I'm not trying to say your not hurting. I'm sorry that you had to experience those hardships in your life. I just wish my own life wasnt so sterile and boring and plain. I feel like im going to die having done nothing with my life.
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-05-2016, 10:48 AM Thread Starter
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It sounds like you lived life. I mean - a hard life. But at least you lived it. I feel a little jealous. My life has been vastly empty and void. I went to school. I was pretty much an anonymous c student. When somebody did acknowledge me it was to be mean to me. I went through all 12 years of school saying maybe 20 words. People thought I was life and once my teacher even asked my parents if I needed special education because she thought I was autistic or something. Now - out of school I basically go to work and home. Work and home. You have a girlfriend. You have a story to tell. Some life experience. You walked that hard road and I don't know man. I'm not trying to say your not hurting. I'm sorry that you had to experience those hardships in your life. I just wish my own life wasnt so sterile and boring and plain. I feel like im going to die having done nothing with my life.
There's not a lot to be jealous of. If I can have a girlfriend,so can you.

I haven't lived life. Not by normal standards. No education, no job, too worried about people laughing at me to go anywhere, a disorder that prevents me from even stepping out for a few minutes.. That's not life man...I quit my job after 2 weeks, I haven't even told my whole family yet, do you know how bad I feel i'll disappoint them?

Be proud of what you accomplished, I would love to have accomplished what you have. so what if you're quiet. You go to school, you go to work. You can meet other people like you if you just opened up a little. If you like being quiet, you can meet other people who you can enjoy having a quiet time with. When I met my ex, we spend a lot of comfortable quiet time together, because that's the kind of people we were. Just relaxing,laying in the bed together,listening to music or whatever.

Open up a little, say any random ****, open up about your insecurities, people like when you put yourself out there like that. It's shows you're a human.
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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-05-2016, 10:58 AM
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Seems like you are tough enough for life so you are allright.
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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-05-2016, 11:01 AM
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Originally Posted by KTagoraphobic View Post
There's not a lot to be jealous of. If I can have a girlfriend,so can you.

I haven't lived life. Not by normal standards. No education, no job, too worried about people laughing at me to go anywhere, a disorder that prevents me from even stepping out for a few minutes.. That's not life man...I quit my job after 2 weeks, I haven't even told my whole family yet, do you know how bad I feel i'll disappoint them?

Be proud of what you accomplished, I would love to have accomplished what you have. so what if you're quiet. You go to school, you go to work. You can meet other people like you if you just opened up a little. If you like being quiet, you can meet other people who you can enjoy having a quiet time with. When I met my ex, we spend a lot of comfortable quiet time together, because that's the kind of people we were. Just relaxing,laying in the bed together,listening to music or whatever.

Open up a little, say any random ****, open up about your insecurities, people like when you put yourself out there like that. It's shows you're a human.
"If I can, you can too" is a logical fallacy that comes down to self reflection.
No offense or anything, just saying, it's just how humans are by nature, to make sure that the group survives, since they are social animals.
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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-05-2016, 11:04 AM
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An agoraphobic with a girlfriend? WTF *brain explode*
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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-05-2016, 01:11 PM Thread Starter
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An agoraphobic with a girlfriend? WTF *brain explode*
I was lucky. My ex that i was with for 6 years i met through my brothers girlfriend. It was her sister.

My current gf I met on here .
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 08-22-2016, 05:25 AM
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If you ever need anyone to talk to man. Dont feel alone in this. There are others who are right there with you.
How do I get a girlfriend?
What do I say? I'm always friendzoned.
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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 08-22-2016, 05:35 AM
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I don't get how you have agoraphobia, you never leave the house yet you got a girlfriend. Man you're lucky as hell. My life is loneliness period. You have had a great life, trust me man. My dad was never around. My mom was bipolar and would kick me out of the house in the middle of the night (4am). I was bullied in middle school, got into tons of fist fights. Was invisible in High School and in College. I've talked to hundreds of women. I even tried to kiss 3 girls who rejected me while I was trying to kiss them, that was a horrible feeling, I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Dude trust me, you have nothing to be depressed about, I would switch places with you in a microsecond.
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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 08-22-2016, 05:39 AM
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It's a subtle brag. After reading the replies I won't bother reading it in full, as I know it will make me feel worse. It is impossible to be a true agoraphobic and yet get a girlfriend. People think its "cool" to have a mental disorder these days.
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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 08-22-2016, 08:07 AM
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Actually your life is pretty good compared to mine. I read it and I still think my life is worse. You mentioned about girlfriend. I never had touched any girl, never kissed one, completely nothing.
I don't know what girlfriend means, I never had real friends, few years ago I stopped having friends at all and I don't crave for friends.
I am unemployed...since ever. Me and my family are poor. What else to say ? I said enough.
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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 08-22-2016, 08:17 AM
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Definately looks like you faced a lot of problems in your life and suffer from crippling anxiety and agoraphobia, but there is good in it. You did have a gf, and it seems you had a somewhat normal life before you got your anxiety. At least you got to experience some of the good things in life, it wasnt all bad and there are ways to overcome your anxieties so that you can move on with your life.
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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 08-22-2016, 08:28 AM
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Your family situation is good and you've found love, I don't mean to sound like an *** I truly don't but don't underestimate the amount of misery some people on this site are constantly in and will be throughout their entire lives, I know other people, such as yourself, who are neets yet have social lives and although they have their struggles ultimately their lives are worth living, I think yours definitely is too. I don't think anyone would feel better if your life sucked, though, nor do I believe anyone benefits from people comparing how bad their lives are on here
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