My life is beyond repairable.
I'm 29 year sold, man from rural Arkansas. I rarely worked, never got a GED, didn't go to middle school or high school. I was pulled out of elementary school because I had medical issues. My parents weren't really serious about my education. I can barely do arithmetic. I have a speech impediment and I don't know what the cause is as I could never afford therapy or even see a doctor about it. I have never been tested for social issues, despite things going on again I couldn't afford it and my father doesn't care to pay for it. I have no bank account, no savings, no credit card, no credit, pretty much I'm a nobody. I don't even have an id, it was state issued that expired few years ago.
Work? I've never worked a day in my life. I mean, I've done some jobs but that wouldn't really be considered a real job. Mowing lawns, doing lawn work, repairing pcs or whatever isn't real work, I did some fast food work like cashier, but just temp in the end I never was able to get a real job. I have real bad social anxiety, say, Thursday if I had to work Monday I would freak out the entire time and wouldn't be able to sleep Monday.
To top it off, my life wasn't pathetic enough. I was dx with epilepsy 7+ years ago.. My dad and I fought a lot over this. I didn't drive, and I didn't have money so I continued having seizures. Because he wouldn't take me. I finally had it and called an ambulance, they took me in and diagnosed me. They picked a Dr. and he prescribes medicine for me. It's actually better now, I am able to talk to my doctor online without him being present. He wanted to see me every 6 months. I got paranoid even within a month of the appointment. My father would complain how he doesn't like that doctor and how he knows more than I do and the Dr knows. He was talking about I may need to be put on another medicine. My father screamed at him and told him what a fraud he is and that he just wants money.
I have no work history, I have no GED. I look at job application forms... I even get paranoid filling them out knowing I will be rejected. They ask for education, criminal history, and ask about driving. That's the other thing. I am in rural arkansas. I cannot drive due to my seizures. There is 0 buses, 0 taxis, I rarely see any of those vehicles. The nearest gas station is 2 miles away. I struggled to even get there, I tried walking to work. I collapsed and dislocated my shoulder on he road going to work. That didn't last. Of course, my father screamed at me over it.
I'm not sure what to do. I tried getting serious about my GED. I bought the book with little money I had, I boght text books, I bought a laptop, I started reading. I tried studying, I can barely remember anything I studied. I spent 20-30 hours a week trying to figure out what memory method works. I tried fish oil, I don't know the cause.
I see others talking about lack of friends, girlfriends, and still a virgin.. I am all of those, I lack all of those, but it's not just the only few issues. What options do I have? I don't have ability to get SSI, medicaid, or medicare my father pays for it all and I try to pay with what little money I am able to get. I tried SSDI, but it was rejected, and the other they say I need to work like 40 hours a month to qualify. I forgot the complex details.
People tell me to take responsiblity and get a job. I've tried, and I actually walked to work because my father or others wouldn't drive me. I ended up dislocating my shoulder. I once when mowing lawns ran into a bird bath because of one. I had another one with a walking mower and hit my head. I don't know what else to do at this point.