My dad and Boyfriend...... - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 03:05 PM Thread Starter
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My dad and Boyfriend......


Hey guys, so I am having a little bit of trouble right now. My boyfriend is 22 and he is about to start college. He works at a daycare and also does a little bit of free lancing. He still lives with his mom and siblings. I am 20 and I just started college and I still live with my dad and I have no job at the moment because I really want to focus on school. I want to be a nurse. However, my dad thinks that my boyfriend is a nice guy but thinks that his situation is unstable and feels like he doesnt have his stuff together (this is all in his words). There is a part of me that feels like my dad is being to hard on my boyfriend. Is he? Should I be concered? I need dating advice please......
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 03:10 PM
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Doesn't sound unstable to me. Person in early 20s starting college and lives with family. Has job to make ends meet. Sounds about average.

Maybe your dad noticed something else.
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 04:55 PM
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It sounds like your dad is scared. He's probably right to be scared but it's your life and you have a right to make your own choices.
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 09:06 PM
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everyone in their 20s sounds unstable to everyone past their 20s 🤣

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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 09:27 PM
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I would be troubled by the fact that he doesn't apply the same standards to you as he does your boyfriend, but then also disregard the standards after realising.

I believe 'OK boomer' is the phrase people 5+ years younger than me are using these days.


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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-14-2020, 09:47 PM
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It sounds like your boyfriend has two jobs and is starting college soon. Either there's something important missing here or I'm actually genuinely annoyed by your dad's ridiculous expectations.

Do you have to work 5 jobs to be normal now?

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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-15-2020, 12:16 AM
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-15-2020, 12:29 AM
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Your boyfriend sounds a lot more responsible than most 22 year olds. Jobs, planning college, and willing to live with his mom to save money.

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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-15-2020, 01:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post

I believe 'OK boomer' is the phrase people 5+ years younger than me are using these days.



Id like to know where that "OK, Boomer" phrase came from. It had to have been from millennials because we the "Baby Buster/Gen X" never did that.

@Infinitegalaxycat - I would ask your father why he thinks the situation is unstable. If he works in a daycare, he is stable enough to be around children and is making money. Commuting to college is cheaper than living on campus. Sure, it would have been nice to know the environment, but I saved money.....and most of the kids went home during the weekend anyway.
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-15-2020, 01:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twitchy666 View Post
wha' EVVVAHHH BEELOONNGGSSS to one

alll yoouurrrrrssss!! KEPP GOING MINE!!! MINE!!! MINE!!! MYYY THIS & THAT OOWWWNEWRRRSHIPPPERSHIPP!!!

not annmyyone's else's
get more

steal,all

plunder. U! +U! AND U! + YOU!! YOOUURRRRRZZZZ!!
Her boyfriend isn't a thief. He lives at home. Maybe one of the kidz in daycare is a junior kleptomaniac. They'd have to take that up with the parents. I don't know what the penalty is for stealing crayons or Play-Doh.
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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-15-2020, 02:18 AM
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Quote:
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Id like to know where that "OK, Boomer" phrase came from. It had to have been from millennials because we the "Baby Buster/Gen X" never did that.

@Infinitegalaxycat - I would ask your father why he thinks the situation is unstable. If he works in a daycare, he is stable enough to be around children and is making money. Commuting to college is cheaper than living on campus. Sure, it would have been nice to know the environment, but I saved money.....and most of the kids went home during the weekend anyway.
First of all I just want to say that the generations are bull**** establishment categories designed to distract people (at least in the sense they're being used now.) But also I guess it did come from 'millennials' in the sense that the media can't even tell apart gen z and Millennials anyway lol.

I assume as with most culture, it initially came from 4chan, and then worked it's way up from there:


https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ok-boomer

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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-15-2020, 03:58 AM
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I think from a traditional perspective, your dad is trying to look at the future. Traditionally speaking, a 'secure partner' is someone who has finished college, has a stable job, and maybe has their own place. So from that aspect, your boyfriend is a few years away from that, and perhaps your dad is saying that if you're looking for a partner, then it should be someone who has these things? Not 100% sure if living with his family also comes into the question here too. Having said that, the meaning of a relationship has changed over time, so to be honest, you and your boyfriend are absolutely fine. Lots of people will have opinions on what a relationship means, who is 'suitable' etc, but as long as your happy and satisfied together, that's what's important!x

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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-16-2020, 06:02 PM
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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-16-2020, 11:10 PM
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I am no one to judge, but the bottom line is, is your boyfriend responsible in terms of his job and in any other way you could find?

No offense but the great majority of relationships that start in your early 20's do not last because people change so much from 20-30, or 30-40 or whatever.
My sex drive was through the roof in my early 20's and i was mostly sexually frustrated, but I would imagine most people in their early 20's are cheating or
swinging or completely out of control. I would guess around the age of 30 or so, people are more grounded in their lives and ready for a relationship, on the other
hand, who is really truly ready?

I just think if you are both in your early 20's, you should almost be more concerned with having fun before the real world and adulthood kick in. I would just try to have fun and sneak out
and sleep with each other and get drunk and not think about the future too much. If you are still together in 2 or 3 years, i would then really start looking into more details like him possibly not being
responsible (not saying he isn't) my point is, at that age, it is too young to delve too deeply into what he is or isn't bringing to the table, or even yourself if that makes sense
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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-17-2020, 02:08 AM
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Your dad's point of view makes sense, only assuming he's the one you're planning to marry and marry very soon. But reality is, you're not. You're still in the dating stages, you're both still in your early 20s, just starting college and just step foot out into the real world. Majority of the people in your age will not be anywhere close to having your life together or establish stability. You're just started out venturing and experimenting the world.

What goes up, will inevitably come back down. Whoever you have to step on when you go up, you will be at their mercy when you go down.

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #16 of 16 (permalink) Old 02-17-2020, 03:02 AM
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I don't get the big deal. You guys are both still young just because he's not working a 9-5 for a 6 figure salary at 22 doesn't mean he's unstable. The guy sounds like he's trying to get on his feet. I feel like your dad is stressing you out and you need to breathe. Just do your thing there's literally no pressure but to grow and figure out what you guys want.

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I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
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