MY DAD - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 03-17-2008, 10:58 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 41

MY DAD


Is a piece of work. He deliberately tries to frustrate me and make me feel incapable of handling any thing. He is a control freak and has to belittle others in order to dominate them. It is good that I can see through his manipulations and domineering behavior. I am no longer going to let him make me feel bad. But it is hard. Usually I would get depressed after talking to him. And I am fighting that now. After talking to him I feel depressed and powerless. He doesn't care how he effects others. He can't see.

I am really struggling with this crap and I am so sick of it right now. I feel like my life has been completely ruined.
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 03-17-2008, 02:07 PM
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 70

Re: MY DAD


Most men who try to dominate, manipulate and verbally bully others do so to cover-up deep-seated feelings of insecurity.

Anything you can do to build-up your inner power and self-confidence is good!

Some years ago I took Kenpo lessons. I’d never thought of myself as a karate person. But even after just one month of lessons my inner power sky-rocketed. Angry, manipulating, verbally abusive people have little effect on me now.

Another way to deal with the abusive manipulator that I’ve found effective is to have a little fun with them. That’s right! Have some fun with them. Say something back that’s totally outlandish and ridiculous. Here’s an actual real-life account of how this works:

I was once with a Sunday school group on our way to play basketball. We decided to stop at a Dairy Queen to get some hamburgers first. It so happened that the new assistant pastor -the epitome of your aggressive, verbally manipulative guy- was there. He had a son our age who was at home, and who never attend our group. When the new assistant pastor saw us and learned we were on our way to play basketball he loudly barked at our Sunday school leader, “It would have been nice if you’d had the courtesy to invite my son. He’s sitting at home alone with nothing to do. How do you think he’s going to feel when he learns he wasn’t invited? Didn‘t it occur to you that he has feelings.” Our Sunday school leader replied, “Well, even though your son doesn’t attend our group, and none of us even knows him, there’s a rumor going around that he wears fancy leopard-skin underwear, so we all voted to ostracize him.”

It was a totally unexpected reply, and the manipulator was caught off guard. Everyone in the whole place laughed. You see, the manipulator tries to intimidate and make you feel powerless. The very last thing he wants is for you to have fun with him. That totally messes-up his gears. Maybe it’s a little mean, but it’s also fun!
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