My Brothers gf forcing me to dance in their wedding - Page 4 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #61 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-01-2020, 08:39 AM
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It might be a good time to try and explain to them what a big deal it is for you. In the end it doesn't really matter what this silly girl thinks - but I imagine what your brother and your family thinks is probably still important to you.
I disagree. Giving her more leverage on you is probably the worst thing you can do at this point. His brother's fiance is just going to use it against him.
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post #62 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-02-2020, 04:03 AM
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I had to dance on my brothers and sister's weddings. Sometimes you just have to be there for your family.
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post #63 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-02-2020, 05:25 AM
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Which produces greater suffering? Dancing one night for her and your brother, or, not dancing and having to live with that feeling of letting them down?


I bet there's a cultural significance to this situation so you have to be prepared to live with the consequences of your decisions towards your relatives.


Good luck my friend!
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post #64 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-02-2020, 06:48 AM Thread Starter
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It doesn't matter what she thinks...am very sure my brother and parents won't really care about it in long run....it's not like am despising their wedding completely but i know how crippling my anxiety is and I don't want to have a panic attack there...am trying to do everything possible from my end

Now she wants me to even wear clothes as per her wishes for each day (it's a 3 day event) for which I may have to spend 1000 usd towards something am not gonna wear again...she's aware am jobless at this point of time....it's getting a bit suffocating now.
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post #65 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-07-2020, 11:44 AM
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Sounds like an indian wedding.

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post #66 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-09-2020, 06:24 PM
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It doesn't matter what she thinks...am very sure my brother and parents won't really care about it in long run....it's not like am despising their wedding completely but i know how crippling my anxiety is and I don't want to have a panic attack there...am trying to do everything possible from my end

Now she wants me to even wear clothes as per her wishes for each day (it's a 3 day event) for which I may have to spend 1000 usd towards something am not gonna wear again...she's aware am jobless at this point of time....it's getting a bit suffocating now.
You don't have to spend any money on it. In fact this gives you a very good excuse not to go: "I can't afford it sorry, so unless you have $1000 lying around I can't do it."
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post #67 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-10-2020, 10:22 AM
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Originally Posted by abhinav21 View Post
It doesn't matter what she thinks...am very sure my brother and parents won't really care about it in long run....it's not like am despising their wedding completely but i know how crippling my anxiety is and I don't want to have a panic attack there...am trying to do everything possible from my end

Now she wants me to even wear clothes as per her wishes for each day (it's a 3 day event) for which I may have to spend 1000 usd towards something am not gonna wear again...she's aware am jobless at this point of time....it's getting a bit suffocating now.
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Sounds like an indian wedding.
I just heard a song from Robbie Williams about this He said to dance like you don't care. You need non-family-to-be female attention. Dancing your @$$ off will do it.

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post #68 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-10-2020, 05:35 PM
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I was a part of my sister's wedding last year and no one forced me to do anything. I was the best man and I didn't even have to give a speech lol. My oldest nephew who's very social gave a speech. My sister knows how I am and the fact that I was there hanging out with everyone was more than enough for her and the rest of my family.
Showing up at that wedding should be enough. If you don't feel comfortable dancing around a bunch of people then don't. And try not to let any morons out there make you feel guilty about it.
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post #69 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-11-2020, 10:03 AM Thread Starter
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I was a part of my sister's wedding last year and no one forced me to do anything. I was the best man and I didn't even have to give a speech lol. My oldest nephew who's very social gave a speech. My sister knows how I am and the fact that I was there hanging out with everyone was more than enough for her and the rest of my family.
Showing up at that wedding should be enough. If you don't feel comfortable dancing around a bunch of people then don't. And try not to let any morons out there make you feel guilty about it.
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You have a very understanding family
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post #70 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 01:27 AM
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Get hammered before and you'll do fine. Jiggle your belly around and let everyone laugh. They'll love you for it
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post #71 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 02:53 AM Thread Starter
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Get hammered before and you'll do fine. Jiggle your belly around and let everyone laugh. They'll love you for it[IMG class=inlineimg]/forum/images/SAS_2015/smilies/tango_face_smile_big.png[/IMG]
Haha easier said than done....btw there's no alcohol in the wedding
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post #72 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 03:18 PM
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Get hammered before and you'll do fine. Jiggle your belly around and let everyone laugh. They'll love you for it
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Haha easier said than done....btw there's no alcohol in the wedding


You're in Dubai, so doing pelvic thrusts is out of the question. Unlawful gyrations shouldn't be on your record.


All kidding aside...


We have a tendency to make things worse than they actually are. Anticipatory anxiety.

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post #73 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 08:38 PM Thread Starter
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You're in Dubai, so doing pelvic thrusts is out of the question. Unlawful gyrations shouldn't be on your record.


All kidding aside...


We have a tendency to make things worse than they actually are. Anticipatory anxiety.
Am in India...didn't notice it's still showing my old location...have changed it now
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post #74 of 74 (permalink) Old 02-12-2020, 09:12 PM Thread Starter
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Also I wish it was just anticipatory anxiety and everything magically disappearing at the wedding.
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