My Brothers gf forcing me to dance in their wedding - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 06:04 AM Thread Starter
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My Brothers gf forcing me to dance in their wedding


Any idea on how I can avoid this? I have said no but she threatens she won't marry if I dont as it's a big occassion for her. I am super anxious as it is going through entire wedding (esp Indian wedding). On top I can't dance, have always avoided it...and am morbidly obese....so am just going to be a laughing spectacle for everyone which is not only anxiety provoking but highly embarrassing. She expects me to dance on a Bollywood number in front of a crowd of maybe 100 😅
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post #2 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 06:10 AM
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She threatens she won't marry? Highly unlikely for that be true
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post #3 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 06:16 AM Thread Starter
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She threatens she won't marry? Highly unlikely for that be true
Am not making up anything over here if that's what your saying.
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post #4 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 06:52 AM
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post #5 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 07:01 AM
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That's a thin thread, if her marriage really hinges on whether you'll dance or not. I doubt she's serious about that.
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post #6 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 10:39 AM
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She threatens she won't marry? Highly unlikely for that be true
Am not making up anything over here if that's what your saying.
No Im saying she is
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post #7 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 10:55 AM
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you dont have to do anything you dont want to man.

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post #8 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 06:57 PM
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I think I remember you from before mate. I've got one word - benzos.

Necessary evil I'm afraid - they could have knocked out half the people at my reception with what I'd taken. (and I was still scared stiff)

Edit: also, you should really tell that girl she's a pain in the arse.
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post #9 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 07:23 PM
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Sounds like she's putting too much pressure on you. You shouldn't have to take any medication just to deal with her issues. Sorry but I think she's the one who needs to step up and learn how to respect your boundaries.
Also if they're really serious about not getting married just because you won't dance for them then maybe they have worse issues than you do/ they're the ones who need to be on medication, not you.
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post #10 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 07:29 PM
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Am not making up anything over here if that's what your saying.
Then you're doing your brother a favor. She's an extremely manipulative person and personally I wouldn't go to her wedding at all.
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post #11 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 07:33 PM
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She sounds like a bridezilla throwing a temper tantrum.

Now I'm Nothing
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post #12 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 09:22 PM Thread Starter
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Put a fake plaster on your leg & get crutches, pretend you broke your leg.
lol I might have to consider that
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post #13 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 09:24 PM Thread Starter
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I think I remember you from before mate. I've got one word - benzos.

Necessary evil I'm afraid - they could have knocked out half the people at my reception with what I'd taken. (and I was still scared stiff) <a href="http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" >:-)</a>

Edit: also, you should really tell that girl she's a pain in the arse.
Meds only help to an extent but am not sure how much they can calm me down in this situation...maybe if I take many at once?
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post #14 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 09:54 PM Thread Starter
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Sounds like she's putting too much pressure on you. You shouldn't have to take any medication just to deal with her issues. Sorry but I think she's the one who needs to step up and learn how to respect your boundaries.
Also if they're really serious about not getting married just because you won't dance for them then maybe they have worse issues than you do/ they're the ones who need to be on medication, not you.
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Agreed. I personally don't like her as she's always been very pushy and manipulative. She doesn't understand anyone's boundaries it seems and always throws tantrums just to have her way. Am just controlling myself as I don't want to screw this up for my brother...its his 2nd marriage and it seems he really likes her.
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post #15 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 09:57 PM Thread Starter
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Am not making up anything over here if that's what your saying.
Then you're doing your brother a favor. She's an extremely manipulative person and personally I wouldn't go to her wedding at all.
That's what I want to do but not sure how to avoid it.
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post #16 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 01:42 AM
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I had to dance with the preacher's wife at a wedding once. Dancing was mandatory. I wonder how she'd have felt if she'd known she was dancing with a bi trans woman who used to practice Satanic witchcraft? Oh, the people you meet.

This post doesn't help you, OP, but best of luck. Weddings are nightmares.

Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there.
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post #17 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 02:03 AM
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I wonder how she'd have felt if she'd known she was dancing with a bi trans woman who used to practice Satanic witchcraft? Oh, the people you meet.
Everyone has a dark side, sometimes the ones who are supposed to be most innocent & pure are the darkest, she probably had a sex dungeon under the church with a gimp tied up in it






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #18 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 02:11 AM
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Meds only help to an extent but am not sure how much they can calm me down in this situation...maybe if I take many at once?
Yeah, I probably shouldn't be telling you to take pills - sorry about that. I needed them though at my wedding. I remember you telling us about this wedding coming up before - big Indian wedding, very embarassing.

Benzos are a bit tricky anyway. I've seen people on here that they didn't apparently work for. You would need to test them first if you wanted to go down that route to see how they affect you.

It's a horrible situation - and she sounds incredibly annoying. I think I remember before you said it was just sort of expected you have to all dance.
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post #19 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 04:06 AM Thread Starter
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Meds only help to an extent but am not sure how much they can calm me down in this situation...maybe if I take many at once?
Yeah, I probably shouldn't be telling you to take pills - sorry about that. I needed them though at my wedding. I remember you telling us about this wedding coming up before - big Indian wedding, very embarassing.

Benzos are a bit tricky anyway. I've seen people on here that they didn't apparently work for. You would need to test them first if you wanted to go down that route to see how they affect you.

It's a horrible situation - and she sounds incredibly annoying. I think I remember before you said it was just sort of expected you have to all dance.
I usually take benzos for social events which really bother. They just ease the nerves to certain extent and help me get through. Usually I take around 2mg. Will have to check with my doc if taking more at once would help.
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post #20 of 74 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 04:20 AM
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Am not making up anything over here if that's what your saying.
Then you're doing your brother a favor. She's an extremely manipulative person and personally I wouldn't go to her wedding at all.
That's what I want to do but not sure how to avoid it.
Just say to your brother his fiance is manipulative and you're not going. He's bound to ask why or persuade you. Just cut off all discussion at that point. "I don't want to talk about it." And walk away if you have to.

Just don't change your mind when she become inevitably more manipulative and begins to turn your brother or parents against you. You're going to get guilt trips and all manner of things drawn into it. They're going to make you seem unreasonable and the bad guy. But the thing is just cut them all off. You don't have to listen to the toxic BS.

Just say, "Sorry but I don't want to talk to you." And cut them out of your life at least until your brother is no longer with his fiance. You can get bonus points for calling out he's going to get a divorce when a few years later he does.
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