Mom forcing me to start driving - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-11-2010, 03:27 PM Thread Starter
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Mom forcing me to start driving


She signed me up for driving lessons from a school this monday which is very quick to me. I also have an appointment next month for my driving test for my license. I've never driven on a street, i'm scared to death of hitting someone and getting yelled at, to me it doesn't make sense for people to be so nonchalant about operating a freaking huge vehicle. I'm going to have to go straight out on a street with a bunch of idiot drivers that will most likely be mad at me for driving slow. Then i don't want to freak out and panic in front of the instructor. I also don't get how people can multitask so much, i'm not good at that. I can't pay attention to brake and gas, lights and stop signs, all other drivers on the road, mirrors and how fast i'm going at the same time! I'll never understand "normal" people and how they don't see this crap as a huge deal.

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post #2 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-11-2010, 03:35 PM
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Well hey, if you crash, just think, "They deserved it!"
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post #3 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-11-2010, 03:36 PM
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On my first lesson my teacher had me drive all around the streets. I was freaked out because that was pretty much the first time I ever drove so I thought we would start a little slower. thing is though it was pretty easy and I felt really confident afterwards. Just go for it don't overthink it.
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post #4 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-11-2010, 03:38 PM
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Don't be scared, driving opens a whole new world! I love driving, and whenever I get mad or stressed I talk my car out for a spin and listen to music, it is one of the most relaxing things in the world to me. Then again, I actually race my car on a closed dragstrip too, but believe me, once you get over the whole "fear" of learning to drive, you'll be glad you did
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post #5 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-11-2010, 03:42 PM
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I agree with IDK. I was in a similar situation, Alix. I had always had a fear of driving. It was the risk of losing control and seriously hurting myself or worse, hurting someone else. My first lesson, which was forced upon me, was intense. I had driven around a empty parking lot a few times but I was scared of going faster than 30 kph (which is like 20 mph). The first lesson was terrifying and my instructor was horrible. But its really easy once you get started.

I've been driving for almost 3 years and I have no accidents, no tickets and only a few "close calls". That with driving through two of the worst winters. I had one day where I stopped at a light and my car started sliding sidewise directly towards the curb. Yikes!

It's a lot easier then it looks.
If you are careful and drive defensively you will be fine.

I actually enjoy driving now.

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post #6 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-11-2010, 03:51 PM
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It's something that you'll get used to with time. Take as many lessons as you need...It's just like starting anything new.

I'm also starting to drive and can relate to all that multi-tasking haha!
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post #7 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-11-2010, 05:29 PM
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Don't worry about crashing, your instructor has access to their own clutch and break pedals.

I'm sure you'll feel much more confident after your first lesson, you'll get the basics down, starting up, braking and gear changes is you're not driving an automatic.

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post #8 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-11-2010, 06:15 PM
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Hah! This is a good thing. Trust me, you want to be knowing how to drive when you are young rather than trying to learn much older.

Be sure to tell us the fun driving stories! On my first driving session, i literally went off-roading because i took a turn way too sharply. The most common thing people do funny is accelerating...... its either full throttle or nothing... so the driving student cars always seem to do lurches forwards
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post #9 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-11-2010, 06:52 PM
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Word of advice, if you hesitate don't go. But good luck with driving and enjoy it, don't let it get you nervous.
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post #10 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-11-2010, 06:57 PM
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It may seem that you are the first person the instructor has taught that is nervous about all you mention, but driving is a big step, and the instructor understands a couple things with you as well as anyone else they teach.

1. This is new territory and you are understandably nervous (which is common for people with and without social anxiety when trying something new like that) and;
2. You aren't experienced in driving.

They deal with that all the time, so a good instructor will recognize that, and try to gradually ease you to driving in situations that you are comfortable with (such as driving on streets with less traffic to start off with).

I hope it goes really well for you!
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post #11 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-12-2010, 02:59 AM
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It gets easier as you drive more. Driving instructions will help. I was very nervous when I first took them too.

As to the multitasking, you will need either brake or gas(unless you are planning on doing some racing or rev matching on a standard car). And you'll notice the lights and stop signs, I can't read street signs though because I get nervous about looking somewhere other than in front of me, but you'll notice the important ones as they are big and bright.

Right now you fear driving, give it some time then you'll just hate driving because its tedious.
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post #12 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-13-2010, 10:12 PM
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Last year I was hit by a car (age 15) during cross country practice and I had terrible anxiety from it. I would, and still am, be afraid of being in a car and crossing the street. Driving was very very very scary for me and it still is kind of. But you just need to do it and you'll get used to it. I was scared to death to go over 20 mph or drive just on small streets. Just take it slow and easy and practice before you go to your instructor. It'll be okay

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post #13 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-14-2010, 09:56 PM
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I HATE driving. When I turned 16, my dad never had time to teach me, he was too busy with my sister learning to drive (she was sick so she couldn't do it earlier). Anyways, my mom worked afternoon shifts at the hospital so she wasn't around for it. At 16, that was the one and only time I wanted to drive. A couple years later, my parents forced me also into a driver's course. I knew all the practical stuff but I had a horrible experience with the driver instructor. She picked me up at school, told me to get in the front seat, asked me if I've ever driven before, I said 'no'. She told me to drive out of the parking lot and into the rush-hour traffic. I looked at her and asked if we can drive around the parking lot first, she said no. I had an anxiety attack behind the wheel when cars started cutting in front of me, but I managed to keep driving until it went away, she refused to let me pull over.

Most of the time, the driver instructor had me run her errands, bringing her to her friend's place, the bank...etc. Then this one time we were in a one lane street, I was going the speed limit and this big-rig truck sped up behind me and started honking its horn. No cars were around so I asked the instructor "can I let him pass?" She got mad at me and said it wasn't a passing lane. I told her the truck was tailgating, she got even madder and said I just had to stay the speed limit. I asked her again if I could let him pass because I was concerned if I had to stop the truck would hit me as there were only a few inches from him and me. She yelled and I never brought it up again.

Since then I've been driving here and there with my mom in the car. I don't have my full license (graduated licensing sucks) and had to renew this a couple times. I can't get into the driver's seat without having an anxiety attack right now. This is mainly due to the fact that over the last few years when I was practicing driving, just going for a twenty minute drive with my mom, I had, no lie, 3 cars almost kill me. my mom said I was doing everything right, going the limit, checking mirrors and stop signs, etc.... and yet these people came out of nowhere. If I hadn't slammed on the breaks we'd be dead. I know I'm a decent driver but everyone out there is CRAZY! I can't stand it.

I say, if you have a good instructor then you'll do fine. If you don't, ask for a new instructor and make a complaint, I wish I did at the time but I was just so nervous and wasn't sure what was supposed to be normal or not. It didn't help that my dad was yelling at me when he was in the car with me at the time. I remember back then I told my mom I couldn't drive with my dad in the car so she ended up being the one to take me most of the time.
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post #14 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-14-2010, 10:45 PM
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Driving's easy. I love driving.
Just go the speed you're comfortable with and if you remember to always check your side mirrors and turn your head to make sure there's no cars when you change lanes you'll be fine.

Hope is patiently waiting expectantly for the intangible to become reality.

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post #15 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-15-2010, 12:43 AM
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driving is stressful for me...i hate when im exiting a shopping center and have to merge into traffic, and there's people behind me and im sweating bullets thinking oh crap i cant go yet, i dont wanna go, but people behind me are getting mad
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post #16 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-15-2010, 05:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rctriplefresh5 View Post
driving is stressful for me...i hate when im exiting a shopping center and have to merge into traffic, and there's people behind me and im sweating bullets thinking oh crap i cant go yet, i dont wanna go, but people behind me are getting mad
Don't worry man that goes away with experience. It took me like 3 years to be comfortable with merging. I take it where you're from new drivers don't have to display anything on their windows to let other drivers know they're new? We do that here so that other drivers know to be more careful around them.

Hope is patiently waiting expectantly for the intangible to become reality.

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post #17 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-15-2010, 09:30 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cruisin View Post
Don't worry man that goes away with experience. It took me like 3 years to be comfortable with merging. I take it where you're from new drivers don't have to display anything on their windows to let other drivers know they're new? We do that here so that other drivers know to be more careful around them.
I would love if we had to do that here lol maybe i'll just get a bumper sticker that says something about it. Today is the day i start, i already feel like i'm going to have a panic attack.

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post #18 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-15-2010, 11:32 PM
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Its not that hard as it seems, trust me I just learned how to drive a few months ago. Also make sure you know to never care about how mad people might get behind you or what not. If you drive to slow for them they can always change lanes and by pass you, so don't get aggitated by that and make sure you relax. Also another thing you got to remember is to always be aware of your surroundings, and also never trust anyone to the full extent on the road. For example you'll meet bad drivers who will pull out in front of you, won't turn on their blinker light, and etc.. Also make sure you're never to close to a car (bumper to bumpet) make sure you can always at least see the bottom part of the bumper, If you can't see it then your to close.
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post #19 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-16-2010, 12:03 AM
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My parents had to really get in my face before I got my permit. I was scared of driving, and also didn't see the need for one - I've got no social life and the only trip i'd ever make would be to Taco Bell.

I know the pieces fit cause I watched them fall away
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post #20 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-16-2010, 01:38 AM
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Dude it's driving. lol

Relax hahaha
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