I had my first job as a tutor age 17, then in retail age 19 and then banking age 23. At age 24 I left my banking job, literally upped and left, from severe depression. It's been almost 3 years and I haven't even applied for a job in anything.
As the months and years tick by I have no idea what to say to prospective employers.
I also entered uni in 2000, was disheartened by the lack of direction in what I wanted to do ( i basically copied the degree majors of my close friend). I was taken aback by the culture of uni life and it brought my SA and vulnerability to depression out in the open. I have only passed 5 subjects of a potential 26 in a standard 3 year commerce degree. Kept on failing and forfeiting subjects, was suspended for 1 year and then excluded for 2.
All of it was due to simply taking subjects and then literally just forfeiting whole semesters. I have a debt of $15,000 for basically 5 passed subjects (and countless failed non attempts at others), you'd think it was an MBA I was studying seen as though those 5 subjects total $3,000 each in relative cost!
I am now sh1t scared to go back and give uni another shot. I am considering doing off campus/distance study but feel there will be limitations on subject to do and the quality of universities. The uni I went to is top 5 in Australia.
I'm not stupid btw, my IQ is over 140 and I scored in the top 2% out of 70,000 final year high school students in the 1999 exams. I really don't know what I want to do in my life. I'm interested in numbers, finance/money side of things. But I feel as though I have missed the boat.
Most of my old friends are managers, engineers and analysts on 120k+ and all settled down in careers and r'ships.
I'm pretty erratic, I don't really have a set goal or passion in a field. I'm too negative. I prob need to see a career counsellor or just a counsellor in general. I don't like to blame it on anything but I know it's due to Sa and depression and my negative personality. Why else would I not have the motivation to not get up for work (when I was employed), or continually forfeit $800 per subject university courses?
Am I just retarded or is there a reason why I have no drive? I'm meant to go and get my blood test results from the doctor and organise a psychologist as well as go to the optometrist to find some glasses but it's been over 2 weeks now. Why am I procrastinating and saying tommorrow all the time?