Lost in life - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-10-2019, 01:23 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 28

Lost in life


So as a every 20 year old i'm kinda lost in life.Little info about me:I'm a 20 years old guy from a small eastern european town. I've lived there for the most of my life. When i was a kid i was really into science and wanted to become a scientist when i grow up. i was fascinated by space and the planets.I loved geology and chemistry.My grades in school were great (with almost no studying, i was studying stuff on my own so i was always ahead of the school material) and overall i was very strong student.At that time i was very introverted kid and actually didn't care about art at all. Everything was focused on learning new science related stuff

Then math slowly started getting in. At first i was doing as good as the other subjects , but slowly (because of the bad teaching system and me being lazy to try to study in depth,because everything else was coming to me very easy) my math grades started dropping . At that time i was going in high school and i hated everything.The way subjects are taught ,the way students behaved in class. At that time i started drawing ,because i wanted to kill some time and overall stopped paying any attention in school/.(my grades still were pretty nice).Some time passed and 12th grade arrived. People started talking about university and of course i wasn't prepared at all.I had very little time to decide.At that time the only thing i had remote interest was drawing so i went to study graphic design in the capital city,which i hated even more than high school and i dropped after a semester and a half. Then i started working part time and going to art lessons to prepare myself to enter the national art academy.The exams were last week and i'm accepted.And honestly i don't care anymore about drawing.For the time that i've been an "artist" all i've done are study drawing.I don't even have one finished piece that i'm somewhat satisfied with.Also i feel that my brain in slowly degrading day after day

So basically a part of my younger self is coming back and clashing with my current personality and i'm getting very frustrated and confused.I feel that probably i want to do something that is creative ,but also science heavy ,but have no clue what
alexcv123 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-10-2019, 08:00 PM
SAS Member
 
Whatswhat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: USA
Gender: Female
Posts: 141
Even though you already took the exam for art school, could you decline the acceptance and work part time while studying to enter a different university, one with scientific majors? It sounds like your calling is to the sciences or at least to something with a scientific bent. 4 years is a long time to study a topic you don't like.
Whatswhat is offline  
post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-10-2019, 11:25 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whatswhat View Post
Even though you already took the exam for art school, could you decline the acceptance and work part time while studying to enter a different university, one with scientific majors? It sounds like your calling is to the sciences or at least to something with a scientific bent. 4 years is a long time to study a topic you don't like.
It's not like i dislike art, i just feel that i could do something else that is more fulfilling .I was thinking of declining the acceptance and studying for architecture school, because it the subject combines creativity and science.It's kinda funny because my whole family encourages me to actually enter art school .
alexcv123 is offline  
 
post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-10-2019, 11:34 PM
SAS Member
 
Unforgiven17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 328
My Mood: Tired
Was thinking architecture too. Also industrial design, could you illustrate science/medical books or do some art around science based stuff?

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't as conscious as I am. It would be so much easier."
Unforgiven17 is offline  
post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-10-2019, 11:35 PM
SAS Member
 
Unforgiven17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 328
My Mood: Tired
Also 3d animation, are you good with computers too?

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't as conscious as I am. It would be so much easier."
Unforgiven17 is offline  
post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-10-2019, 11:43 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unforgiven17 View Post
Also 3d animation, are you good with computers too?
Yeah ,i've done a lot of 3d graphics ,the thing is that i end up being disappointed because the end product is something that stays in the computer and is not a real practical object.
alexcv123 is offline  
post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 12:14 AM
SAS Member
 
Unforgiven17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 328
My Mood: Tired
Quote:
Originally Posted by alexcv123 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unforgiven17 View Post
Also 3d animation, are you good with computers too?
Yeah ,i've done a lot of 3d graphics ,the thing is that i end up being disappointed because the end product is something that stays in the computer and is not a real practical object.
Turning that into an actual product is a job in itself though, isnt it? Could you maybe look into that a bit?

If you are naturally talented at something its hard for other people to understand why you perhaps wouldn't want to pursue it further. You are so young, I wouldn't worry unnecessarily about it for now. If you think you have made the wrong decision (whatever you decide), its not the end of the world.

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't as conscious as I am. It would be so much easier."
Unforgiven17 is offline  
post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 12:19 AM
SAS Member
 
Unforgiven17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 328
My Mood: Tired
Ah, is that graphic design which you have already started studying. Could you find somewhere that you could study and work at the same time? Do you just draw or do sculptures etc... could you make practical things or design things that are practical (I don't know, fabrics, wall paper, furniture), find new uses for old things, create art out of old things. I guess it doesn't have to be all drawing and studying.

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't as conscious as I am. It would be so much easier."
Unforgiven17 is offline  
post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 08:29 AM
SAS Member
 
Whatswhat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: USA
Gender: Female
Posts: 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by alexcv123 View Post
It's not like i dislike art, i just feel that i could do something else that is more fulfilling .I was thinking of declining the acceptance and studying for architecture school, because it the subject combines creativity and science.It's kinda funny because my whole family encourages me to actually enter art school .
Architecture could be good, but I'd research to know all the science-leaning options available to you, and also job prospects near you. There are a lot of options now (too many...) but just pick the one that seems best. You don't have to have the perfect career path.
Whatswhat is offline  
post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 12:26 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whatswhat View Post
Architecture could be good, but I'd research to know all the science-leaning options available to you, and also job prospects near you. There are a lot of options now (too many...) but just pick the one that seems best. You don't have to have the perfect career path.
Well , i live in a poor eastern european country , so there aren't any science related jobs here.There is one university with courses in most science related field ,which is pretty decent actually.For a career i mainly think that i could be satisfied with 2 options
1-Working a freelance job that involves creating stuff and at least some science , or
2-Having a cool research job.
i don't really care much for money or job stability.
alexcv123 is offline  
post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 12:38 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unforgiven17 View Post
Turning that into an actual product is a job in itself though, isnt it? Could you maybe look into that a bit?

If you are naturally talented at something its hard for other people to understand why you perhaps wouldn't want to pursue it further. You are so young, I wouldn't worry unnecessarily about it for now. If you think you have made the wrong decision (whatever you decide), its not the end of the world.
I don't think that i'm very talented in the arts in particular.I just have good studying habits and i pick most stuff quickly.In school i hated math because it was the only subject that i wasn't able to instantly understand.Honestly now i kinda miss math,i've watched youtube clips that explain math problems better and i'm getting kinda intrigued by it.
alexcv123 is offline  
post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 01:00 PM
SAS Member
 
Unforgiven17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 328
My Mood: Tired
Quote:
Originally Posted by alexcv123 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unforgiven17 View Post
Turning that into an actual product is a job in itself though, isnt it? Could you maybe look into that a bit?

If you are naturally talented at something its hard for other people to understand why you perhaps wouldn't want to pursue it further. You are so young, I wouldn't worry unnecessarily about it for now. If you think you have made the wrong decision (whatever you decide), its not the end of the world.
I don't think that i'm very talented in the arts in particular.I just have good studying habits and i pick most stuff quickly.In school i hated math because it was the only subject that i wasn't able to instantly understand.Honestly now i kinda miss math,i've watched youtube clips that explain math problems better and i'm getting kinda intrigued by it.
You sound like me. Maths was something a had to really concentrate on to be good at. Ironically I became a maths teacher.

Before that I studied marine biology and now I'm a podiatrist. In some ways its good been able to pick everything up quickly but it leaves so many options and its hard to choose just one. Or you constantly question if you have done the right thing.

I know I could have gotten an easy job that pays well, particularly been good at maths but I want to enjoy work. I don't want to spend my life doing something just for money. I loved marine biology and could have become a researcher/lecturer but anxiety killed that dream due to personal stuff I had to leave and left it too long to return.

You will find your way, try things, if they don't work out then don't beat yourself up about it!

My main achievement in life is having a family (thought anxiety would mean I was alone for ever), once I realised that I stopped worrying too much about the other stuff.

Follow your heart and see where it takes you.

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't as conscious as I am. It would be so much easier."
Unforgiven17 is offline  
post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 01:22 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unforgiven17 View Post
You sound like me. Maths was something a had to really concentrate on to be good at. Ironically I became a maths teacher.

Before that I studied marine biology and now I'm a podiatrist. In some ways its good been able to pick everything up quickly but it leaves so many options and its hard to choose just one. Or you constantly question if you have done the right thing.

I know I could have gotten an easy job that pays well, particularly been good at maths but I want to enjoy work. I don't want to spend my life doing something just for money. I loved marine biology and could have become a researcher/lecturer but anxiety killed that dream due to personal stuff I had to leave and left it too long to return.

You will find your way, try things, if they don't work out then don't beat yourself up about it!

My main achievement in life is having a family (thought anxiety would mean I was alone for ever), once I realised that I stopped worrying too much about the other stuff.

Follow your heart and see where it takes you.
I probably will skip this uni year as well and go for something else,because even if i'm not satisfied with let's say getting a science degree i always could go back and do art.But if i study art and decide that it's not for me i would be kinda screwed up.
alexcv123 is offline  
post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 01:23 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 28
So i have some eventually good news.I contacted the science university and they will be accepting extra people in the end of august,without an exam.I have very good grades from HS so i will be able to apply to basically any natural science available . I don't care much about biology,my main choices i think could be geology or physics .When i was a kid i was obsessed with geology ,i was collecting rocks and gemstones and i was actually looking for them in the fields and taking them home and polishing them and all the good stuff.I probably have 50 kg's of raw material in the basement back home.Physics(especially astrophysics) is the other field that i was very interested as a kid , i was reading a lot of Carl Sagan and other popular scientists.
The thing is that if i want to go for a science career from what i've heard i would need at least Masters,probably PHD , so that's at least 7 years in university ? if i go for that path i MUST leave my country after finishing bachelor and go for masters in another country.( i have relatives in Sweden and there is university in the city which offers courses in English + it's free ,so it's not that bad)
The thing that worries me.If i decide to go the path of a research scientist (which is probably the nicest type of scientist to be) i've heard that the competition is extremely harsh and you need to be very gifted.So this basically means that you need to have god level math skills,which i don't have, as i've mentioned before.I probably could get my math to decent level with enough practice ,but i don't know if this is going to be enough.
alexcv123 is offline  
post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 01:42 PM
monk
 
andy1984's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: chch
Language: english, silence
Gender: Non-binary
Age: 35
Posts: 6,320
My Mood: Amazed
it's one up from being lost at sea.
two up from being lost in space.

geology sounds good. I just started thinking of doing my masters in philosophy. might be fun. idk.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
andy1984 is online now  
post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 02:06 PM
SAS Member
 
Unforgiven17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 328
My Mood: Tired
Quote:
Originally Posted by alexcv123 View Post
So i have some eventually good news.I contacted the science university and they will be accepting extra people in the end of august,without an exam.I have very good grades from HS so i will be able to apply to basically any natural science available . I don't care much about biology,my main choices i think could be geology or physics .When i was a kid i was obsessed with geology ,i was collecting rocks and gemstones and i was actually looking for them in the fields and taking them home and polishing them and all the good stuff.I probably have 50 kg's of raw material in the basement back home.Physics(especially astrophysics) is the other field that i was very interested as a kid , i was reading a lot of Carl Sagan and other popular scientists.
The thing is that if i want to go for a science career from what i've heard i would need at least Masters,probably PHD , so that's at least 7 years in university ? if i go for that path i MUST leave my country after finishing bachelor and go for masters in another country.( i have relatives in Sweden and there is university in the city which offers courses in English + it's free ,so it's not that bad)
The thing that worries me.If i decide to go the path of a research scientist (which is probably the nicest type of scientist to be) i've heard that the competition is extremely harsh and you need to be very gifted.So this basically means that you need to have god level math skills,which i don't have, as i've mentioned before.I probably could get my math to decent level with enough practice ,but i don't know if this is going to be enough.
That's great, I think you need to take it one step at a time and not overwhelm yourself. Start whichever course feels right, perhaps you could even sit in on some lectures from other courses you are interested in too (I'm sure you could switch without a problem early on of you wanted).

Once you are using maths for a real purpose (rather than the non-context situations you often find in maths exams), I'm sure you will be fine.

Biology was always my favourite though, so I can't help there!

Uni is academic but I really think a drive and willingness to learn is something lecturers really value in their students. If you show your enthusiasm this will stand you in good stead for any opportunities that come up in the future.

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't as conscious as I am. It would be so much easier."
Unforgiven17 is offline  
post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-25-2019, 01:13 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 28
So i decided (for now at least) to get into the art school and i am done with all the documentation,taxes , etc. The funny thing is when i went to pay the first semester i actually forgot the exact sum that i had to pay and payed 100$ less . When i went to the uni to finish with all the stuff the staff mentioned that that i had to to pay the extra money in 2 hours or else i'm out(I literally finished with the papers the last moment ,so it's my fault).I didn't had that amount of money at the moment and actually i was kinda happy that i will be out, but then the universe decided to **** with me and a relative of mine called me and said that she had just sent me some money for my birthday and they should be at my card right now XD . So because of bad(or good) luck i'm in.

If i don't like it (as i expect) i will transfer to architecture school next year.
alexcv123 is offline  
post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-26-2019, 05:43 AM
SAS Member
 
Unforgiven17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 328
My Mood: Tired
Quote:
Originally Posted by alexcv123 View Post
So i decided (for now at least) to get into the art school and i am done with all the documentation,taxes , etc. The funny thing is when i went to pay the first semester i actually forgot the exact sum that i had to pay and payed 100$ less . When i went to the uni to finish with all the stuff the staff mentioned that that i had to to pay the extra money in 2 hours or else i'm out(I literally finished with the papers the last moment ,so it's my fault).I didn't had that amount of money at the moment and actually i was kinda happy that i will be out, but then the universe decided to **** with me and a relative of mine called me and said that she had just sent me some money for my birthday and they should be at my card right now XD . So because of bad(or good) luck i'm in.

If i don't like it (as i expect) i will transfer to architecture school next year.
Ah well, it was obviously meant to be. At least you will have tried it and can make an informed decision then you aren't left wondering.

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't as conscious as I am. It would be so much easier."
Unforgiven17 is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome