Is it considered sad, and a failure at life, if you live at home in your 30s, with no prospect of ever being independent again?
Im 32, but moved out of home 4 months ago for the first time, to live with a friend whos 10 years younger than me, but needed a flatmate, and I guess I kind of had feelings for her.
However, im now starting to seriously contemplate moving back home with my parents.
My flatmate parties all the time, especially throwing house parties on nights before I have to be up early in the mornings for work. She has said she wont throw them the nights before she is up early as she's not stupid (no, just inconsiderate). She also has a new girlfriend, and they have sex several times a day, every single day, and often now in the living room confining me to my own bedroom for hours on end.
I get blamed for almost everything. She refuses to stay in for deliveries, or for anything to be sorted, as she gets 'bored' so I have to waste my days off for her. She wont ever wash up or do housework, or bins etc. Im also treated like a servant sometimes.
Sometimes I honestly wonder if im kept around for anything more than to pay half the rent and make her life easier and give her more money to go drinking with each weekend. Generally, I hate the thought of coming 'home' now and ive been getting quite stressed lately by it.
Also with work, they are refusing to pay any overtime, so I am on a 21hr 5 days a week contract, at £7 an hour, which after rent and bills is leaving me with next to nothing, and since moving in my end balance has basically been at a loss. If I dont completely run out of money by the end of this month, I predict i'll be in trouble by next and have to start using my savings, which will keep me going another 3-4 months hopefully. As far as im aware, im not entitled to any benefits or help as don't qualify for anything.
Transport is a third, or possibly even half, of my weekly spendings, because I have to work 5 days a week, but only for 3.75hrs per day, which also prevents me doing much else or getting a second job.
But the trouble is, I dont really want to go back home, as I know if I do, it will be admitting defeat to all those people who said id never last. I will pretty much never be able to move out again.
Even at my age too, there was a 10pm curfew on me at home, that my mother didnt like me out past, my pc was kept in the main living room, and I had little to no privacy or independence, not allowed people over the house etc.
But things would be a lot cheaper again without having to pay rent.
Which brings me to the problem of moving elsewhere. At the moment my rent is £300 a month which includes bills. There is nowhere that seems to be as 'cheap' as that which include bills etc. I earn £585 a month, at least £20 a week transport, £30 on food, £150 on direct debits and credit card repayments, which is already giving me expenses of £650-680 a month minimum - a shortfall of £100 a month.. Getting my own place seems to be pretty much a no go, and the only other friend who would ever let me flatshare has already asked, but says it would be £750 a month rent (south london).
Everyone says I should just move out as im getting so unhappy lately. I just don't know what to do anymore.