Leaving the house - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-28-2019, 12:20 AM Thread Starter
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Leaving the house


Hi everyone,

So, my neighbor is a builder and has been working on his house for what seems like years. He is always in his front yard working. For the past few months, him and his workers are working in the front yard. He seems to be building a garage and driveway along with a fence and pathway or something. My problem is that whenever I or my family members leave our house, him and his workers always stop and stare hard at us until we get into our car or walk to the bus stop down the road. My neighbor is an unfriendly man and we are not on good terms. He previously had built his house so that all his water would somehow leak into our yard. When we complained, he was rude and hostile and always tries to do something to annoy us. As he is a builder, he will do things like put a rainwater pipe in a strategic position which splashes water onto our house - or he puts his equipment on our yard and leaves rubbish in our yard.
Anyways, he stares in a very hostile manner at us and seems to have told his workers that we are dangerous/crazy people because his workers (who we dont know and are new people all the time) look at us in fear/shock and suspicion. I feel scared to leave the house now because of this and when I am home, just knowing that he is next year is giving me terrible anxiety. I feel so weak and cowardly because I am always scared and anxious as soon as I hear the neighbour working (he is always working on something). His work shed place is right next to my bedroom and he starts work early in the morning. It wakes me up at around 6 and then I feel terrible anxiety as soon as I hear him working. This anxiety doesn't leave until late in the day when I can't hear him working anymore. I am also fearful that my dad will go and argue with him. I know that my mother is also intimidated by our neighbor and that makes me feel terrible too.
I seem to have intense anxiety all the time now - my stomach hurts, I feel like I need to hunch over, I feel really wobbly - like I can't support myself. I wish I was strong and not afraid but I am really quite scared and anxious. The thing is, the worst that can happen is that they will stare, but my body is responding as if I am in extreme danger. I feel like I can't discern what I SHOULD be feeling.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-28-2019, 06:40 AM
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-04-2019, 10:59 PM
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@DoubleDiagraph I've had a lot of terrible neighbors, and I felt the same way. It can make you feel like a hostage in your own home. I could share my stories with you, but honestly, they'd just make you more anxious.

My current neighbor likes to stand in front of his house and smoke all day. He's there about 3/4 of the time I leave or come back to the house. It's really awkward because we don't like each other and never speak but I have to walk within a few feet of him multiple times a week.

For forty-seven years I've put up with it now. I must stop Christmas from coming ... but how?
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-04-2019, 11:26 PM
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Hostile neighbors are a living nightmare. There's really nothing you can do about it, especially if there is a grudge.
Had an elder couple that lived across me from me like that in one of my previous places. They didn't really bothered me much, but they had a huge grudge with a few of the other neighbors. They were retired, so all day they would do passive aggressive harassing things to them. And it's literally like their main motivation to get out of bed every morning. They were retired, so they have little to do the entire day.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.

If I fail to adapt to the fault of others, it is my fault.
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