Just got laid off..

So just when I thought I was making a bit of progress in taking steps to treat my social anxiety and my generalized anxiety disorder I get laid off from my job. The good news is that I haven't had a nervous break down or stressing like I normally would have in the past probably due to the anti-depressant I am on but the bad news is I am so unmotivated to find another job.

I HATE working in corporate America. I try to stay positive and keep a positive attitude but corporate America is literally just a rat race of people trying to screw each over to get a raise. I'm all for competition but at the end of the day it does not matter how good you are at your job in corporate America because all that matters is how well you can brown nose the bosses. The fact I have SA and generalized anxiety disorder makes it so much harder for me to thrive in an environment like that.

When I first started working in Corporate America I figured the harder I worked the more recognition and respect I would get. I assumed I could off set my social anxiety by working harder and producing high quality work but boy was I wrong. I watched as some of my fellow co-workers received raises and promotions for producing lack luster work but yet their connection with the bosses enabled them to advance over me. Of course I was picked on, made an example of, labeled as having a 'bad attitude' because of my timidness and tendency to always seem stressed out and on edge. It's such a blow to your self esteem when you have worked 60-70 hours weeks and on weekends to finish a project and get denied a raise and receive no recognition. There is no point in working hard in corporate America because there is no point! You don't get anything in return! Working in Corporate America to is just depressing. It's the same boring routine everyday. Go to work, go home, sleep. Rinse and Repeat.

Now that I'm unemployed I just have NO desire to want to find another job and return to this environment I despise so much. I'm never been so unmotivated to find another job before in my life. In addition I HATE JOB INTERVIEWS. I'm a software developer and in the information technology world interviews are absolutely brutal. They sometimes last 3-4 hours where a group of people ask you to write complex algorithms and code to show what you're doing but I always bomb them because I lock up due to my anxiety I Just can't think during them! I begin sweating, and my it's so unbearable, and uncomfortable. I need to study for them but there's no point because I always lock up during them! I Just don't know what to do!

Sorry for the essay but does anyone have any advice?

What's funny is a lot of people in the world could have wrote something similar to what you just did.

"The truth is, most people don't like their jobs."-Office Space

Most people don't like interviews, either. You aren't alone. The last job I had, I got laid off after 2.5 months when I was 50$ away from getting unemployment. They made sure I wouldn't get unemployment money. I've turned in about 25 applications for mostly minimum wage jobs since then, and it's been about 9 months and I'm still unemployed. I got screwed over, too. I was just about to move out of my parents' house too, when I was working. Now I'm stuck here, lol. It sucks being a mama's boy but it could be worse.

Gather your code developed through the years and inventory them. Not just as a portfolio for looking for even temporary/contractor programming assignments, but your old algorithms always helps complete some future projects as a tool box. Speaking of feeling like a tool, I had to ease back into it with contract work "Aerotek" many years back and always brought cool programs to show potential clients to steer the conversation away from egomaniacs asking you stuff that can be refreshed if you happen to care about it for a while and doesn't reflect whether you can get the project done.

Good luck. I've stuck in low-level management with nowhere to go except look for rooms to sleep in between meetings due to anxiety, but have been going back to doing a lot of programming so I can shield myself from corporate politics.