No one important
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Virgo Supercluster
Language: English, Dutch
It's been a while
Might have been almost like half a year, I think at least. But I became much less active on SAS, partly because my life got a bit busier but also because most friends here stopped coming online as well. On top of that, did I always thought I was bothering everyone on here with my problem threads, or rant threads (how you want to name them).
For those who don't know me, I became member in 2017 around October to seek help (with a lot of convincing from people I know online, outside of SAS) with my depression. Although my depression became worse over the two years (and I'm still walking around with it), I've had loads of help from kind of everyone here on SAS. With smaller things like how you operate the washing machine (which is still rocket science to me honestly) to bigger stuff, like actually saving my life before I did something drastic. Although I'm very thankful for everyone's help, I feel like I'm shortcoming to everyone as well. Despite the help, I developed other conditions such as BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder), more severe trust issues and a lot (too many to list) physical symptoms (e.g. hallucinating, haert palpitations etc). And because of that, I felt like leaving SAS because it only got worse even though I had help from many people, which makes me guilty to those who did their best to help someone.
I hope this doesn't sound like a rant thread (I really hope it doesn't), but I hope everyone can at least understand my situation I got in. And I'm going to try to become active again here, because like I said, a lot of people helped me and the community around here can actually be really fun and supporting.
EDIT: I wasn't sure in what section to put this, so I'm sorry if it's in the wrong one.
"Like a book isolated on a shelf with no one to read it yet judge it for its amount of pages. I feel such way."
"When everything starts falling apart, when even your own body is turning against you because it no longer wants to continue living, you start to think about whether it's still worth it or not."